Does Anyone Worry That A Loved One Is In Hell?


#1

I’ve been taking a hard look at my religion lately, and I’ve been wondering does anyone worry about a loved one being in hell?

Because I’ve been thinking and my dad is a non practicing anglcan and he is an alcoholic, and that alone would send him to hell right?
My father is really stubborn, he will not give up drinking and I know for a fact that there is no way to convert him to catholicism because my mom married him in hopes that he would, but he didn’t and I know he never will…

I’m extremely worried that he is going to hell… Does anyone have anyone they loved pass away in which you are sure that they died in mortal sin?
How do you cope because this is making me really depressed, just thinking about it.


#2

Pray for him everyday.Also, offer Masses for him.Plead with God and read the diary of divine mercy by Saint Faustina I think it will give you some comfort.God Bless


#3

I’ve had (and still have) similar worries about loved ones. I just remember that God is merciful, and even at the moment of death they have a “last chance” to repent (I can’t quote a source for this belief - I’ve heard it from a priest). Only God knows the state of someone’s heart - we can never know whether or not a certain person goes to hell.


#4

[quote=Lisa4Catholics]Pray for him everyday.Also, offer Masses for him.Plead with God and read the diary of divine mercy by Saint Faustina I think it will give you some comfort.God Bless
[/quote]

Lisa has told you right. Keep in mind that we never know the disposition of another’s soul, (and sometimes not even our own) :o so beware of judging…even unintentionally. :wink:

I strongly suggest the Divine Mercy Chaplet for him. I’ve had many answered prayers from it and some conversions as well. The DMC has a great novena as well. Remember that it is God’s will for all to be saved and to come to the knowlege of the truth, so when you pray for him you are most definitely praying in accord with God’s will, so you can have confidence since Jesus promised that if we ask anything in His name He will do it. Knowing that you are praying in line with the will of God gives us confidence for our answer because you are being obedient to God in this matter. Never despair.…that is sin and God works His way…not ours. We don’t have to understand all of it, just pray and hold fast to the end. In fact…I’ll join you in prayer for your Dad.
Pax vobiscum


#5

I don’t worry about those sorts of things. If it were true there is nothing I can do, so I might as well accept that I don’t know and trust in God that He is doing what has to be done for everybody including those dead we wonder about.

Alan


#6

There is one relative of mine that I think of often (he is deceased) because I know that if he is in hell, then another (living) relative of mine will have troubles with God. I see how she could easily stumble on that. So, I pray about it. Actually, I seriously hope that she could get an angelic vision with reassurance or guidance about the issue.

I suppose we worry alot about the ones we love most.


#7

I worry about that…

…before one of my great grandparents died he said he’d contractracted some angles to get him straight to heaven…but he thought they were a bit odd becasue they had red knickers…I was only three at the time but this story is brought up in family discussions because he was VERY serious…


#8

[quote=Steven87]I’m extremely worried that he is going to hell… Does anyone have anyone they loved pass away in which you are sure that they died in mortal sin?
How do you cope because this is making me really depressed, just thinking about it.
[/quote]

I encourage you to pray. There is no lost cause. You never know how things will work out. I suppose that many are truly sorry for their sins when they are near death.

I knew somebody who was an alcoholic. Sometimes they drank too much and they were fairly dangerous and mean when they got drunk. That same person encouraged me to watch the Pope on TV one Christmas Eve. And now I am in RCIA. My friend doesn’t drink any more. He has cancer and was told by doctors that he had perhaps only six months to live (some doctors thought even less time). Last I heard, he was still alive. And often reading his Catholic Missal. I suppose he hasn’t drank in at least a few years. Because if he did, it would be his last day. That is how fragile his body has become.

I suggest that you offer an unannounced Mass for them. For example at my Roman Catholic Church, for a small donation I can have a Mass said for somebody’s benefit. From what little I understand, praying for somebody before they die has much more potential for benefit to that person than waiting until they die.

Do what you can as the Holy Spirit leads you. And leave the results in God’s hands.

So do see if you can somehow have prayers often said for your Dad. When somebody’s heart seems fixed on wrong or evil, God is their best hope. He can change their heart.


#9

I try not to think about my relatives and focus on my own salvation. As selfish as this sounds, I think to do otherwise would just be too depressing for me.

I once heard that the Catholic “position” (roughly speaking) is that God was 50% mercy and 50% justice (and yes I know the limitations of such a formulation). However, it seems fashionable today to think that God is 95% mercy and 5% justice, and I often hear people preaching a feel-good message along the lines of “don’t worry, God wants us all in Heaven…we’ll all be saved in the end”.

Unfortunately, I’m always brought back to Matt 7:13-14:

Enter ye in at the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leadeth to destruction, and many there are who go in thereat. How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way that leadeth to life: and few there are that find it! [size=2][/size]

[size=2][/size]
[size=2]So, for my part, I try to stay focused on finding and staying on that straight path…and hopefully I’ll be allowed to enter the narrow gate. As we can never know the true disposition of another’s soul, I never presume to know where any of my departed loved ones may be…although I never fail to pray to/for them :thumbsup:
[/size]


#10

[quote=jmm08]… I suggest that you offer an unannounced Mass for them. For example at my Roman Catholic Church, for a small donation I can have a Mass said for somebody’s benefit. From what little I understand, praying for somebody before they die has much more potential for benefit to that person than waiting until they die …
[/quote]

The quote I heard was that ONE Mass offered for the benefit of someone still alive is worth as much as a THOUSAND Masses offered for them after they have died.


#11

People go to Hell of their own choosing, so one should not worry about this fact as that will not change. Freewill is a gift, God respects this gift. All are given many chances in life to find the way to salvation. Go however is pure Love. Nothing defiled can enter Heaven as it goes against justice. Justice required the redemptive blood of Christ to even give us a chance of Salvation. The rest is up to the individual. This can be helped by the prayers and sacrifices of others.

Many if the great Saints saved sinners by their prayers and penances. We can do the same, daily.

What you should worry about is have you prayed and made many sacrifices for sinners, this is what can help. Worrying helps no-one.

Sadly, many do go to Hell, as revealed in scripture, and by approved revelation - notably at Fatima. In Sr Lucia memoirs she recalls how it was revealed to St Jacinta that the vast majority of those to be killed in WW2 would go to Hell.

Times are more sinful now than in WW2. We should all have a healthy fear of eternal damnation as it makes us strive all the more to reduce the sin in our lives, frequent confession and the Eucharist. Without these sacraments, most Catholics also would have no hope. We trust in Christ. If we persevere and strive daily to keep his commandments and do his will we may save our souls and also create the grace that can go towards saving the souls of loved ones.


#12

My personal understanding is that Jesus wants all of us with Him. I had a stepfather who was very abusive, both physically and emotionally. I was 11 when he came into my life. I married at 18 and went on with my life, leaving a younger brother and sister under his “rule”. They were deeply affected by his abuses. He died in 1988 at the age of 55. I was saddened by his death because it was very painful (cancer). However, I would participate in bad-mouthing him after his death. Now that I have been listening to the Catholic beliefs and have begun RCIA, I worry about my stepfather. As angry as I was those many years ago…is my suffering and the suffering of my brother and sister worth his eternal damnation? NO. So even though so many years have passed I pray that his soul is still in purgatory and I can pray for him to be with Jesus and live in peaceful eternity.

Jesus knows how things are going to go, and I will keep praying for my stepfather. Purgatory knows no time.

Pray for the living and pray for those who have passed on. We can’t possibly know what is going to happen to any of us after we die. We can just pray for the best and be thankful for purgatory.

M


#13

[quote=AlanFromWichita]I don’t worry about those sorts of things. If it were true there is nothing I can do, so I might as well accept that I don’t know and trust in God that He is doing what has to be done for everybody including those dead we wonder about.

Alan
[/quote]

Exactly.

IMO a lot of the trouble comes from thinking of Hell as a sort of parallel or shadow of life on earth - including time. So that one thinks of people suffering “there”, “now”.

I think this is a trick of the imagination - the Biblical imagery is far more to do with finality than with continuation.
Hell is
[list]
*] a rubbish-heap
*]a fire - and fires familiar to us produce ash
*]a prison which those within will not leave
*]a furnace - for burning rubbish
[/list]The imagery is largely of sterility, death, unfruitfulness, ruin. The “damned” have no future - that seems to be the main thing about them. I don’t think Hell is something “going on now” - Hell is for those of us who are ruined; not for those with a future, who are truly alive.

C.S. Lewis has written very well on this subject, in “The Problem of Pain”. And as he points out, we need to see Hell in context - IOW, we need to think of Heaven in order to think about Hell. ##


#14

Yeah,you die and go to heaven(hopefully) and when you get there and start asking about people,‘hey,where’s my cousin Tommy,wheres grandma Lucy,where’s my brother steve?’ someone takes you aside and says"how,can I tell you this nicely,they didn’t make it". How in the world are you supposed to be joyful for the rest of eternity?That would eat at me like crazy-I might even get mad at GOD.The thought of being seperated from any of my loved ones and friends scares the *^%@ out of me!But look at how easily some on these forums can say someone is going to Hell without a hint of hesitation…heartless!!


#15

[quote=alekzander]Yeah,you die and go to heaven(hopefully) and when you get there and start asking about people,‘hey,where’s my cousin Tommy,wheres grandma Lucy,where’s my brother steve?’ someone takes you aside and says"how,can I tell you this nicely,they didn’t make it". How in the world are you supposed to be joyful for the rest of eternity?That would eat at me like crazy-I might even get mad at GOD.The thought of being seperated from any of my loved ones and friends scares the *^%@ out of me!But look at how easily some on these forums can say someone is going to Hell without a hint of hesitation…heartless!!
[/quote]

Hey, Alekzander, I’m with you on that one. Many people here say they can’t know God’s intentions, but plenty of others damn people to hell very happily.


#16

God worries very much about those on the path to damnation.

NAB LUK 15:22

"The father said to his servants: Quick! bring out the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Take the fatted calf and kill it. Let us eat and celebrate because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life. He was lost and is found. Then the celebration began."NAB LUK 15:4 Parable of Divine Mercy

"Who among you, if he has a hundred sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wasteland and follow the lost one until he finds it? And when he finds it, he puts it on his shoulders in jubilation. Once arrived home, he invites friends and neighbors in and says to them, Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep. I tell you, there will likewise be more joy in heaven over one repentant sinner than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need to repent. What woman, if she has ten silver pieces and loses one, does not light a lamp and sweep the house in a diligent search until she has retrieved what she lost? And when she finds it, she calls in her friends and neighbors to say, Rejoice with me! I have found the silver piece I lost. I tell you, there will be the same kind of joy before the angels of God over one repentant sinner." NAB EZE 18:23

Do I indeed derive any pleasure from the death of the wicked? says the Lord GOD. Do I not rather rejoice when he turns from his evil way that he may live?

NAB EZE 18:30

Therefore I will judge you, house of Israel, each one according to his ways, says the LORD GOD. Turn and be converted from all your crimes, that they may be no cause of guilt for you. Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. Why should you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies, says the LORD GOD. Return and live!

NAB JER 35:15

I kept sending you all my servants the prophets, telling you to turn back, all of you, from your evil way; to reform your conduct, and not follow strange gods or serve them, if you would remain on the land which I gave you and your fathers; but you did not heed me or obey me.Repentance To Service

Peace in Christ,
Steven Merten
www.ILOVEYOUGOD.com


#17

[quote=alekzander]Yeah,you die and go to heaven(hopefully) and when you get there and start asking about people,‘hey,where’s my cousin Tommy,wheres grandma Lucy,where’s my brother steve?’ someone takes you aside and says"how,can I tell you this nicely,they didn’t make it". How in the world are you supposed to be joyful for the rest of eternity?That would eat at me like crazy-I might even get mad at GOD.The thought of being seperated from any of my loved ones and friends scares the *^%@ out of me!But look at how easily some on these forums can say someone is going to Hell without a hint of hesitation…heartless!!
[/quote]

I believe, those who make it to Heaven (The few) will be fully enlightened to see how those in Hell (The many) chose it with their own freewill. As those in Heaven will then be able to see the True Love of God, we will FULLY respect the decisions taken by those in HELL, to fully exclude themselves from the beatific vision.

It is not heartless to quote the truth. It is simply a fact. No one wants anyperson to go to HELL for Eternity. Free will is a gift however which will always be respected by God. He wants us with him in Heaven, Jesus paid the price for us, we choose whether we want to be there. No one can ever say they were not given the opportunity through the Grace of Christ to be saved. God is Love and Justice, the two components are inseparable. Only a God of Love would take Human form, take lots of unjust grief and suffering for us, why? Because the Justice of God demanded a supreme sacrifice for our sins and only God (Jesus) could offer such a pure sacrifice. God cannot be any fairer than that.

Just accept that is the way it is, love God and your neighbour and pray and make many many sacrifices for poor sinners, so please God, they do not end up in Hell.


#18

I have a question for all those certain about the question of Hell. What of those who live in nations where they do not know the Word? whom have never heard the name Jesus? Are they eternally damned? What of those who were raised in misreable homes without love, and do not know God’s love? I don’t know how much this agrees with the official Catholic teaching (I am still young, and am trying very hard to educate myself about my faith) but I believe in a merciful, loving God, one who damns those who knew the love and threw it out b/c of greed, power, ect. but will bring those whose circumstances led them to non religious lives a final chance of repentance, to see the light, before damning them. I have trouble believing so merciful a God would damn those who did not know Him through no fault of their own.

on a happier note, I would just like to add an addition to the angelic views posted earlier. after my aunt died over the summer, I am afraid she died in mortal sin, but was in a coma for five days, during which she woke once and received last rites from our local priest. Afterwords, my extremely religious grandfather still worried about her salvation (such was the extreme of her sin), but while on a plane to my cuz’s wedding, he was leaning back in his chair when he had a vision of her in peace. I will never forget the joy on his face, my uncle told me he cried when he had relayed the story to the other nine children of his. this strengthed my faith to the point words can scarcely express.

God bless!


#19

[quote=Steven87]I’ve been taking a hard look at my religion lately, and I’ve been wondering does anyone worry about a loved one being in hell?

Because I’ve been thinking and my dad is a non practicing anglcan and he is an alcoholic, and that alone would send him to hell right?
My father is really stubborn, he will not give up drinking and I know for a fact that there is no way to convert him to catholicism because my mom married him in hopes that he would, but he didn’t and I know he never will…

I’m extremely worried that he is going to hell… Does anyone have anyone they loved pass away in which you are sure that they died in mortal sin?
How do you cope because this is making me really depressed, just thinking about it.
[/quote]

Sin doesn’t separate us from God, but unbelief. If your father trusted Jesus sometime in his life, he is now basking in the presence of God!

Love to you and your family,
exrc!


#20

[quote=Steven87]Because I’ve been thinking and my dad is a non practicing anglcan and he is an alcoholic, and that alone would send him to hell right?
[/quote]

That is correct. Being an anglican (or any non-Catholic) will send him to hell. Being an alcoholic is also a mortal sin, which would send him to hell.

It is a sad state to know a loved one, especially your father, is on his way to hell in a handbasket, to use a cliche. But, the best thing you can do is when you are at Mass, offer your intentions for him. Also, if you can, have Masses said for his conversion. Offer your rosaries for him. Offer all your prayers for the conversion of sinners and heretics. This is the best thing you can do for him. Of course, being a good example and discussing with him the Faith are also ideal.

[font=Arial]“(14) How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way that leadeth to life: and few there are that find it!” (St. Matthew 7)[/font]
[font=Arial][/font]
[font=Arial]"(24) Strive to enter by the narrow gates; for many, I say to you, shall seek to enter, and shall not be able." (St. Luke 13)[/font]

[font=Arial]"(61) Many therefore of his disciples, hearing it, said: This saying is hard, and who can hear it?" (St. John 6)[/font]

[font=Arial]The teaching of Christ is clear. Very few are saved. [/font]

[font=Book Antiqua][font=Arial]St. Thomas Aquinas: “There is a select few who are saved.” [/font]
[/font]
http://www.romancatholicism.org/fathers-fewness.htm[/font]
http://www.romancatholicism.org/thomas-fewness.htm[/font]
http://www.romancatholicism.org/leonard.htm[/font]

[font=Arial]This is a truth of life. We must accept it, but we must do our best to help save our own souls and help others do likewise.[/font]


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