Does God instruct women to be stay at home moms?


#1

Do the following verses mean that women should be stay at home moms?
Proverbs 31 and Titus 2

any respectful thoughts/instructions appreciated.


#2

God calls some women to be stay at home moms, and others He has different vocations in mind for.


#3

Kimberly Hahn wrote a wonderful book about being a Godly wife based on Proverbs 31. I think what God calls each person to do is to serve others before serving themselves. That means as a mother and wife, I look to serve my family first. I may want to sit at my computer all day or spend time reading, but I have a family, and should sacrifice for them. That doesn't mean that I become a servant ("honey, go get me a beer..."), but that I seek to do what is best for their spiritual development.

I don't think that Titus 2 has anything to say about staying at home or working. The bottom line is being a Godly woman. If work comes before your family, I don't think that reflects Christian values (for a man or a woman). Unfortunately, in our culture, we are told that we should make ourselves happy first, and then we can make others happy. I don't buy that. Why not serve others and find that as the source of our joy.

To work or not work is a big question for many. I have a young son, and my husband and I are able to be home with him most of the time because of working a lot before he was born. Neither of us would give up the time we've had with him for anything. The joy of being here with him and forming his character is a gift.

I think God wants us to make the world a better place, and we are to begin that in our own homes. If you have the means to stay at home (or work part time), you should embrace that option and make the most of your time at home. You can make a fantastic contribution in your church and community AND in your family.


#4

i think our sister in Jesus, Orchanian nailed it when she said; "I think what God calls each person to do is to serve others before serving themselves!"

****Jesus said it better; "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Lk 9:23).

Ouch! 2 things i rarely do, deny myself & take up my cross! Pray for me!

*Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!
*

mark


#5

Not this one, He doesn't! ;)


#6

If I were a stay at home mom, we’d be living in a cardboard box on the street corner. I’m the sole breadwinner.

Miz


#7

In these types of discussions, I think it’s helpful to bear in mind that the whole concept of commuting to work is historically rather new. In previous agrarian societies, it simply was not the case where one spouse would go to “the office” while the other stayed home. Rather, spouses and children all did what needed to be done around the farm. So the whole question of whether or not one spouse “works” while the other “stays home” is a relatively recent dillema.


#8

Being a Stay Home Mother is a blessing!
By shaila Touchton

God created men to do work outside the house to be the leaders, the providers and protectors. (Genesis 2:5) and women to be Keepers at home instead of forsakers of home. A man ought to work and support his family. This is correct in the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8 but if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

God created woman From one of Adam's ribs To be an helpmeet for man To be the glory of man, Loving and affectionate Tender and constant to her offspring, to bear children, and take care for the household stuff, to be Good and virtuous, to be Submissive and respectful to husbands, Fair and graceful, adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, to be Kind, self-controlled and courteous to strangers. To be compassionate towards poor and needy and to be generous to her neighbors. The older women are to teach the younger women and to live lives that glorify God. A true stay home mother will be godly in character, spiritually strong, submissiveness to the Word of God and to her husband.

True feminine beauty is reflected in a godly woman. She fears God and is devoted to the home and manages the household. A godly women is different by Conscience, Character, by her Clothing, by her appearance and She sees her family members are clothed with humility, pure, righteous and holy. Motherhood that is the most important feminine role that a woman fulfills. Every woman now has a freedom to make her choices in life.

God has given us children as a blessing to train for Him and for His glory. A true motherhood lies in her home watching the child grow step by step, sharing all the first -moments, devoting herself for her children and family members.

Keeping up with children is very tiresome and is equal to working a full time job. Stay home mothers will have a Special bonding between their children. They too have a several jobs like Child rearing, nurturing , guidance cleaning up after children, trying to feed children, giving constant attention for kids, dealing with sick children, supervising the children making sure it is in a familiar, comfortable, relaxed, and nurturing environment, disciplining the children, cooking healthy food for the family , house cleaning, doing laundry, she prays for her family members well being and for finances and she constantly grows in her knowledge with Gods wisdom. And God will supply all her needs because she and her family are seeking God.

Stay home mothers have the opportunity to be in touch with their child on a regular basis, to witness the child's emotional and physical changes. They are given a better chance to be the first to see anything new that happens in a child's life. They shape up their children’s attitudes, actions, behaviour and associations teaching them the statues , the commandments and the laws of the God. Stay home mothers love their children so much that their availability and Involvement becomes primary in every part of her children's life, she sacrifices her worldly desires like money , luxury etc in order to be around her children and family .She refuses to keep One Foot in God's Word, and One Foot in the World. She Seeks God's Kingdom First, Not Worldly Wealth & Possessions and she chooses to Suffer for doing good and Be Poor and Not Compromised with the World Than Be Rich and Famous .She becomes the role model in her children's life by Training, Disciplining and nurturing her children' According to Gods word and keeping away her family members and children from the evil influences of the world who will morally corrupt their morals. Being a stay home mom needs a lots of sacrifice , courage and blessing. Career woman are worldly minded, her sense of value is in rushing towards luxury and comfort endlessly and they miss out all the joys around her children and family . My perception may be different from yours. But at the last its what God says matters! But As parents, God holds us fully accountable to faithfully represent His authority and standards for more than just providing food, shelter, and protection. The best way to raise godly children is, by parents being godly and setting and living as a Godly example. There is always a success and rewards in Parenting in Godly ways. Our worldly culture rarely values this role of the stay-at-home mother instead they accuse that stay home mothers are week, uneducated, lazy ,worthless and they need to pursue a career be equivalent to men rather being stayed at home and managing the household. Our culture do not value or appreciate the stay home mothers, traditional family values are no longer accepted. The Bible teaches in 1st Timothy 6:8 that we ought to be content with just food and clothing.

examiner.com/christian-living-in-tampa-bay/being-a-stay-home-mother-is-a-blessing
source:


#9

My mother was NOT a SAHM and I suffered greatly for it. My dad had a good job so we wouldn’t have lived in a cardboard box, we just would have lived in a much smaller house.
I would rather have had no clothes to wear and a mother, than no mother and fine clothes with a “great” education.

I dreaded growing up to be a SAHM because I was taught by society and my own mother that that state was worse than the most dismal kind of cage.

The truth, however, couldn’t be more different. While in corporate America, though being quite near the top of the totem pole and certainly indispensible, I often felt like I was a hamster running in one of those little wheels. Everything felt fake and contrived on some level. Sure, the money was real. After all the bills were paid I still had over $1000 walking-around money every week. I felt SO empty and lost…


As a now SAHM, myself, I feel so sorry for my mother (please, I am not judging ANY of you I don’t know personally…REALLY). The most amazing thing our children can teach us is joy. True, pure, unbelievable JOY. I’m totally clueless about motherhood, since mine was never there; but the kids don’t seem to mind much. I am truly Queen of my domain. Most of all I am fulfilled and content.

The description of a SAHM above made me wince. I don’t see myself as anything like that. I mean, yes, TECHNICALLY my husband is the head of the household, but that’s only because I grant him that privilege. He consults me in all matters (except remembering to tell me when his meetings are (grr)) and we are simply a united team. Now I know I need to work on the whole mothering thing a lot more… I’m definitely not as proficient as I’d care to be AND as I think God is calling me to be…

Having lived through both extremes; I have to say that, yes, I do strongly believe that God calls women IN GENERAL to be SAHMs. There is a horrible lie out there that we can be great career women AND great moms. It’s an impossible goal. I know some of you are going to came back with: “but I know someone who knows someone who is great at both”. … Well bully. I’ve never met this woman and I expect she would be a frightening thing to behold. If you EXPECT yourself to be both, you are setting yourself up for failure and hurt.


#10

[quote="InspiritCarol, post:9, topic:183067"]
My mother was NOT a SAHM and I suffered greatly for it. My dad had a good job so we wouldn't have lived in a cardboard box, we just would have lived in a much smaller house.
I would rather have had no clothes to wear and a mother, than no mother and fine clothes with a "great" education.

I dreaded growing up to be a SAHM because I was taught by society and my own mother that that state was worse than the most dismal kind of cage.

The truth, however, couldn't be more different. While in corporate America, though being quite near the top of the totem pole and certainly indispensible, I often felt like I was a hamster running in one of those little wheels. Everything felt fake and contrived on some level. Sure, the money was real. After all the bills were paid I still had over $1000 walking-around money every week. I felt SO empty and lost...

...
As a now SAHM, myself, I feel so sorry for my mother (please, I am not judging ANY of you I don't know personally...REALLY). The most amazing thing our children can teach us is joy. True, pure, unbelievable JOY. I'm totally clueless about motherhood, since mine was never there; but the kids don't seem to mind much. I am truly Queen of my domain. Most of all I am fulfilled and content.

The description of a SAHM above made me wince. I don't see myself as anything like that. I mean, yes, TECHNICALLY my husband is the head of the household, but that's only because I grant him that privilege. He consults me in all matters (except remembering to tell me when his meetings are (grr)) and we are simply a united team. Now I know I need to work on the whole mothering thing a lot more... I'm definitely not as proficient as I'd care to be AND as I think God is calling me to be...

Having lived through both extremes; I have to say that, yes, I do strongly believe that God calls women IN GENERAL to be SAHMs. There is a horrible lie out there that we can be great career women AND great moms. It's an impossible goal. I know some of you are going to came back with: “but I know someone who knows someone who is great at both”. ... Well bully. I’ve never met this woman and I expect she would be a frightening thing to behold. If you EXPECT yourself to be both, you are setting yourself up for failure and hurt.

[/quote]

Hi
I totally agree. I am trying to be both a great mother and a great career woman along with a decent college student but I am as you stated failing miserably. Personal accounts don't make up for the whole so maybe there is a woman out there who can do it all but I hate it.
I have to work to support my family because my husband keeps fooling around. No I won't seek a divorce I am working on our marriage all the time hoping to help him become all that he can be instead of the lazy fool he is being currently.
I have two sons I don't want him to be the example of manliness until he straightens up.
Anyway I have to hold down a job because if it weren't for me the kids wouldn't have much of anything especially not the necessities.
But if my husband picks up a decent full time job I am definitely considering just being mom. I am not the mom I could be if I wasn't trying to do it all. I want to be SAHM so bad and it definitely is a blessing. I miss my kids when I'm working.


#11

Yes and No.

I think the default of our lives is moms nurse babies and take care of infants/toddlers and husbands provide. However- for various reasons people need to make exceptions.

My issue isn't the exceptions, but that slowly it seems that the default is changing so that the expectation is more towards the mother working than towards her being home.


#12

[quote="freckledlizzy, post:10, topic:183067"]
Hi
I totally agree. I am trying to be both a great mother and a great career woman along with a decent college student but I am as you stated failing miserably. Personal accounts don't make up for the whole so maybe there is a woman out there who can do it all but I hate it.
I have to work to support my family because my husband keeps fooling around. No I won't seek a divorce I am working on our marriage all the time hoping to help him become all that he can be instead of the lazy fool he is being currently.
I have two sons I don't want him to be the example of manliness until he straightens up.
Anyway I have to hold down a job because if it weren't for me the kids wouldn't have much of anything especially not the necessities.
But if my husband picks up a decent full time job I am definitely considering just being mom. I am not the mom I could be if I wasn't trying to do it all. I want to be SAHM so bad and it definitely is a blessing. I miss my kids when I'm working.

[/quote]

Aww. I truly feel for you...:hug1: There but for the grace of God go I...

:signofcross:May God lift you up, "freckledlizzy"; may He hold you in his tender arms and send the Holy Spirit to strengthen you in your trials. May he help your husband see the light; but in the meantime may He bring some good examples of manly behavior into your sons lives and most of all help them to feel the love that "freckledlizzy" feels for them but doesn't always have the time or energy to show...:byzsoc:

"Divine Mercy in My Soul" by St. Faustina really helped my husband when he had to take on the full load of work and kids while I was bed-ridden this past pregnancy. If you have a chance to read it, it may help a lot.

Personally, I like the "Way of the Cross" when I feel I'm suffering excessively.

Thank you for making my point. It is a great disservice to women to expect us to be BOTH mother and bread winner. It's definitely a lie to say it's not only doable; but easy.

Be well


#13

You know, when I read Psalm 31, I see "small business woman". She is using her talents to create things and sell them to help support her household.

I think each parent is called by God to support the household equally but differently, and the "how" is different for each man and each woman. The ideal mother "should" be the primary caregiver, and the ideal father "should" be the primary breadwinner. Those "shoulds" carry a raft full of exceptions.

My wife, who I admire tremendously, is the primary caregiver of our 4 children and is also the owner of a business employing over 20 people. She manages this by working in the morning from 4 to 6:30 and then part-time in the day while they are at school. She picks them up from school (Catholic school!) and does the homework and dinner prep thing before I get home. The reason she can do so much is that she calls the shots at work. She would never do the 8 to 5 grind, because she couldn't be the mother she wants to be if she did.

There are women who have legitimate callings and talents outside the home, obviously. It is wrong to think the only way to follow those callings is via the 8 to 5 career route, shoving the children into daycare in order to climb that corporate ladder. When we were still making babies, my wife started her business career publishing a newsprint magazine and selling ads, things she could do in the little bits of time she could find throughout the day. She didn't have to worry about making money, thanks to Our Lord, so she grew the business slowly on her own terms.

So I don't think there is anything unbiblical about a woman working, but babies shouldn't be in daycare, and kids should be with a parent between school and dinner. (And with both during dinner!) It is sad that our economy/culture forces some to compromise here. Many really do not have an option. It is even sadder that so many people make that compromise solely for money they don't really need.


#14

It's hard to give a pat answer to that.

If a woman works outside the home out of financial necessity, I can see that as okay.

In the best case scenario a mother is there for her little ones, and is taking care of meals, laundry, and all the other details that a mother does. I am grateful that my mother did not work outside the home while my two sisters and I were growing up. She was always there for us when we got home, and we had a happy home life. When we were in high school, she did start doing some part-time work while we were in school. That is what enabled all of us to move out of a small apartment and into an older house in a nice neighborhood.

I raised eight children as a SAHM, and don't regret one minute of it. My husband did not have an extremely high income, but his job did have medical and dental benefits. When the children became teens they found ways to earn money of their own. The girls babysat, and the boys shoveled snow, or raked, or delivered newspapers. It isn't necessary to have all the latest techie novelties, each child in their own bedroom, etc.

When all my children were in school I looked for some part-time work then, to help with the bills. Guess what I did? Baby sitting! :)


#15

Feminist warning

I hope he didn't! I certainly don't want to be a SAHM. Ever. I grew up in a household where my mother has always been one - it was I think, a good choice at first, but now me and my sister are older my mum just doesn't make any effort to get a job and enjoys spending my dad's money when he already works 6/7 days a week. But that's just a bad experience I suppose.

I don't see why women should stay at home. Now, here where people get confused - I am a feminist. By that I mean I believe women should have the same rights as men, something which I understand women aren't guarenteed to have by law in the USA, and a group of women actually campaigned to NOT have the same rights as men in the workplace. Feminism is all about having the choice to stay at home, or work. These women, to me, were anti-feminist to say that all women should be stay at home moms. And I don't imagine God would want all women to stay at home.

I work in healthcare, which is a traditionally female profession. I don't see why God would object to women caring for others as an occupation, as well as for their family. Oh, a small fact: before the invention of the plow - women earned almost 50% of the income. As someone already mentioned, its a fallacy to suggest women have always been unemployed.

And I don't see why men can't stay at home either!


#16

I hope he didn't! I certainly don't want to be a SAHM. Ever. I grew up in a household where my mother has always been one - it was I think, a good choice at first, but now me and my sister are older my mum just doesn't make any effort to get a job and enjoys spending my dad's money when he already works 6/7 days a week. But that's just a bad experience I suppose.

Why is that a bad thing? Who says she has to have a job?

By that I mean I believe women should have the same rights as men, something which I understand women aren't guarenteed to have by law in the USA, and a group of women actually campaigned to NOT have the same rights as men in the workplace.

There are some pretty decent arguments in favor of a private employers right to discriminate.


#17

[quote="violet81, post:16, topic:183067"]
Why is that a bad thing? Who says she has to have a job?

[/quote]

It's not a bad thing to be a stay at home mom, but I live away from home and my younger sister is a teenager. My parents have been short of money recently, and my mum refuses to leave the house (hasn't left in months, not even to go to the shops) and she spends a LOT of money on things for her (beauty products, candles, films) while complaining if my dad wants to take time off. If it is my dad's one day off, she bosses him around and won't do anything for herself - yesterday, she sat on the sofa while pointing at a painting getting dad to turn it so it was straight, and when dad refused my mum accused him of being lazy! I say she should have a job, because spends a lot of money on herself and thinks my dad should be at her beck and call. She also doesn't do much during the day - its now almost 2pm and she's still in bed.

Anyway, I'm not saying that all stay at home moms should work - only that mine should, because of her situation.

There are some pretty decent arguments in favor of a private employers right to discriminate.

At the end of the day I thought that in the West we were striving for democracy and women's rights. Let me guess - maternity leave cripples private employers? Not all women want to have children, therefore that discrimination is based on assumptions which is not a fair way for a society to operate. That's just my opinion though, and we're going off-topic.


closed #18

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