I totally agree with James. After finishing writing my post, I prayed to God
for peace and he sent me consolation immediately.
Although my situation (I mean physical) hasn’t changed yet, I notice that
God has sent me so many graces when I looked back my past few years.
Recently I keep asking myself questions like these, “What did I deserve all
these graces?”, “Why does God choose me?”
Anyway, I want to finish this message (not this post) by the following
meditation I obtained from Silent Insight- Daily Catholic meditation:
The Bike Ride
At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited Heaven or Hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn’t really know Him.
But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal. I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since . . . life with my Higher Power, that is. God makes life exciting.
When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, “Pedal!”
I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are You taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; and when I’d say, "I’m scared, " He’d lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God’s and mine.
And we were off again. He said, “Give the gifts away. They’re extra baggage, too much weight.” So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought he’d wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.
And I’m learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my Higher Power.
And when I’m sure I can’t do any more, He just smiles and says, “PEDAL!”
The meditation above accurately describe my spiritual journey with Jesus.