Does it seem that people today are getting engaged/married at younger and younger ages?


#1

This relates to my other poll (tiny.cc/6evrs)::)

It seems to me that a large number of people my age (college aged) are getting engaged during or right out of college. I'm wondering if this is a real phenomenon or if this is just a matter of personal perception.

Discuss!


#2

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:1, topic:239653"]
This relates to my other poll (tiny.cc/6evrs)::)

It seems to me that a large number of people my age (college aged) are getting engaged during or right out of college. I'm wondering if this is a real phenomenon or if this is just a matter of personal perception.

Discuss!

[/quote]

Early? In the grand scheme of things, 22 (just out of college) does not seem like an early age to get married. 22 is an adult, who has (hopefully) graduated college, or been working in the work force for 4 years. Looking to get a stable job, a career even, maybe a house and have someone to share that part of their life with. Women are at the height of their fertility. :shrug: Again, it doesn't seem that young to get married/engaged, especially when viewed in a historical context.


#3

I think that people who are religious are more willing to get engaged young, and place more importance on marriage in general. (note, this does not mean if you are religious that you will get engaged young.)

Culturally, especially in the West, people are getting married later and later, often after a series of monogamous relationships (which are the vast majority unchaste). Countries like Denmark have men marrying on average at 35 years old! This is a huge upward shift from just a half century ago.

I can only hope people begin to place more importance on the sacrament of marriage, and this will likely lead to a falling marriage age. Marrying earlier via a greater value placed on "till death do us part" would also probably lower the amount of trouble people get into before marriage, which can be so harmful. The outlook is not good, but there is always hope.


#4

[quote="ChiRho, post:3, topic:239653"]
I can only hope people begin to place more importance on the sacrament of marriage, and this will likely lead to a falling marriage age..

[/quote]

Well, can't blame me for not trying! I have a pretty bad track record here...


#5

Are you kidding. - it wouldn't let me vote but where I live people aren't getting married until late 30 and then wonder why kids aren't happening in their 40!!

My husband and I got married in college and were the odd ones for not being together for 10 years before getting married!!


#6

My mother and father were 19 and 27, when they married in 1953. They were still married nearly 58 years later, when my father died last fall.

My aunts and uncles married at like ages, and were married for nearly 50 years each, until death did they part.


#7

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:4, topic:239653"]
Well, can't blame me for not trying! I have a pretty bad track record here...

[/quote]

No, of course not. As the pool of "eligible" people shrinks -- as the number of faithful people with family values gets smaller -- it becomes paradoxically harder for people who would like to marry young.


#8

If they are, more power to 'em :thumbsup: When you’re ready, you’re ready…and it sure beats looking around in your late 20s and wondering when you became the old maid :stuck_out_tongue:

My own parents were college sweethearts (met at 18 and 19) who everyone saw as marrying young back when they did in the mid 70s, at 24 and 25. They were lucky enough to have the best of both worlds, getting to know each other for several years before making the leap while still young.


#9

[quote="iwillrisenow, post:8, topic:239653"]
If they are, more power to 'em :thumbsup: When you're ready, you're ready...and it sure beats looking around in your late 20s and wondering when you became the old maid :p

My own parents were college sweethearts (met at 18 and 19) who everyone saw as marrying young back when they did in the mid 70s, at 24 and 25. They were lucky enough to have the best of both worlds, getting to know each other for several years before making the leap while still young.

[/quote]

My parents married when she was 20 and he 24. One of my sibs married while still in her teens - disastrous. The others all waited until they were in their mid-20s at least.

I am the odd fish out - 37 and still single. I attribute it to my mental age being about 17 or so :)


#10

[quote="Catholic38, post:5, topic:239653"]
Are you kidding. - it wouldn't let me vote but where I live people aren't getting married until late 30 and then wonder why kids aren't happening in their 40!!

My husband and I got married in college and were the odd ones for not being together for 10 years before getting married!!

[/quote]

That's what I was thinking, I had just asked dh the other day if people were getting married later and later. I thought I was kind of late compared to my mom etc (I got married at 23 and 3 months), but I have a lot of friends that are still single or just getting married (around 29-30).


#11

In my experience, people are marrying later, except for my own family. I was the latest to marry, at 22. My husband was 22 also. Our 14th anniversary is this month, and we are as madly in love as when we first married.

My parents were 16 (mother) and 19 (father), and, no, she wasn't pregnant. :rolleyes: They are still married 39 years later. My sisters married at 20 (to a 24-year-old) and 19 (to a 24-year-old). They are still married, too, and they are both extremely happy. They have four children apiece.

But aside from my own family, everyone I know is getting married later and later. To be married before 25 is considered shockingly young. :shrug:


#12

Time flies and before you know it you are the odd old aunt.
My mother tries desperately to get me married... Im 29 and it definately seems that among serious Christians there is a tendency to marry much younger than in the rest of society.
The numbers of the rest of society can however be a comfort to some of us who would have liked to marry younger but haven't found the one to marry yet.


#13

Well, I don't know but I get tired of people saying that you need to "live a little" or "have some experience" before you get married. From my experience, usually what goes on for most single people in their 20s that constitutes living a little and experiencing things is best avoided! My daughter is engaged and she is 22. My extended family is appalled and want me to intervene. I am very happy for her and glad that she found the right guy.


#14

no, the opposite, it seems in general adolescence is prolonged well into the post-college years for many youth today, with the connivance of their parents, producing at least two generations of those adult in age but immature in outlook and convictions who are ill prepared for the commitment of marriage, or for any commitment for that matter.


#15

Except for some really creepy "homeschool" (more like protestant cult) situations I never have met anyone who got married before 20.

However, I have alot of friends who got married right out of college or during their military years.

Six or seven couples....and another friend is getting married in September. Two of my three brothers also got married post-college.

It's so odd having facebook and watching two people who I played truth or dare with welcome their infant daughter! Many of my friends have kids already. It's sooo strange.

I also still have friends who haven't had a single boyfriend or girlfriend since (or during)college. :shrug:


#16

I think the trend is actually the opposite- people are getting married later or not at all.

Each person's situation is different and depends on a lot of different factors. Some people have the means to start a family right after college, some do not. Some people met the right person by the time they graduated, some haven't.

It's just as unfair to assume that people who marry early in their early twenties are ill-equipped for life as it is to assume that people who marry a bit later are somehow prolonging their adolescence, or wrong for spending some time figuring out their lives.


#17

[quote="Katie966, post:16, topic:239653"]
I think the trend is actually the opposite- people are getting married later or not at all.

Each person's situation is different and depends on a lot of different factors. Some people have the means to start a family right after college, some do not. Some people met the right person by the time they graduated, some haven't.

It's just as unfair to assume that people who marry early in their early twenties are ill-equipped for life as it is to assume that people who marry a bit later are somehow prolonging their adolescence, or wrong for spending some time figuring out their lives.

[/quote]

I agree. Here in NJ, it's not unusual for people to marry in their late 30's. Some marry later and have one child, if any. But, our state isn't known for it's church-going Catholic community either.

I was 20, and my husband 25, when we married. We have been married for 17+ years. I know people who married in their 30's when they were supposed to have been better prepared (according to the general thoughts of society) and they didn't make it a year. :shrug:


#18

My younger siblings each got married when they were 24 and 25 respectively. I’m 32 and have never been married.


#19

It seems to me to be a matter of Christian = marry young, while secular = marry older. I’ll admit it’s hard watching your friend’s love lives flourish when your’s is barely off the ground.


#20

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:1, topic:239653"]
This relates to my other poll (tiny.cc/6evrs)::)

It seems to me that a large number of people my age (college aged) are getting engaged during or right out of college. I'm wondering if this is a real phenomenon or if this is just a matter of personal perception.

Discuss!

[/quote]

I think it is just your perception because you are generally exposed to only people in your age range and don't see the tons of unmarried people in the 20s-30s (or I could be wrong, just making an assumption). The majority of the people I know are unmarried or married in the very late 20s to mid 30s. Many are hoping to find someone to marry and some just are interested at the present time because they want to establish their career or finish grad school, etc.

I personally feel like I've been ready for marriage since graduating college. Just need to find the right girl.....


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.