My name’s Michael and I’m Roman Catholic. I’m new to this forum, so I hope this is the right section. Could you help me, please, with the following situation? First of all, a more or less lengthy introduction.
I’m 26 years old. Next year in spring I’ll be 27 years old. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Except two female buddies when I was a child and preteen. When I was a 15 years old teenager I fell in love with a girl at my school, and I wanted to attend dancing school together with her. But she didn’t want me. I wasn’t disappointed that much. However, I started to put my main focus on education and career. I’m not a shy boy, but I avoided looking at girls who are attractive – in my own eyes. I thought they could distract me from studying and my career.
In 2007 I fell in love with a girl again, but on the Internet by a fortunate coincidence. She was a hobby swimmer. I used the search engine because I wanted to look a certain term up and I came up against a sports club website. On this website I saw several photos of her and I fell in love. I contacted her by social networking Internet platform with a photo of mine. We had the same interests among other things (the nature, sports). When she asked me in the second message why I use this platform, I told her that I saw photos of her on her club’s website. But she didn’t reply anymore. However, I wasn’t disappointed that much. I fell in love again like back in 1998. Of course, I fell in love between 1998 and 2007, but I suppressed my emotions, which means no activities. I couldn’t look, as just mentioned, at girls who are attractive – in my own eyes. But this extreme habit, made my physically and emotionally very tired in the truest sense of the word. So, in 2007 I decided to open up my feelings. My mother was shocked and worried (spring 2008) that I want a girlfriend. She doesn’t want that I have a girlfriend, but now after about a year she accepts it more or less.
Then, this year’s summer I fell in love with a girl I read an interview about her (and her colleagues) in a trade journal. I contacted her by business club Internet network without a photo of mine. We work in the same branch, so I really enjoyed her interview answers, and also her appearance. I sent her job-related questions, and I paid her a compliment – with polite statements – due her attractive appearance. But she didn’t reply.
Of course, I saw two girls in my local area, but they already had boyfriends. A few weeks ago, I waited for my train at the central station in the evening. I saw two girls, which were attractive – in my own eyes. One girl (police officer) was sitting in a train. I saw her from the station platform. Then I saw the other girl in the train that I entered. She was snoozing and a guy was “sitting” (on the armrest of the chair) next to her and talking to two persons. So, I didn’t know if it was her boyfriend.
Now, I noticed a girl, who’s a hobby gymnast, on a hobby sports Internet platform – by a fortunate coincidence, again. She lives 37 miles away from my home. Of course, I don’t know if she has a boyfriend. I’d like to contact her – maybe.
I’ve done sports (stretching, running, yoga, riding my bicycle etc.). Once I HAD a fetish for women in one-piece swimsuits and leotards, but I DEFEATED it. For instance, when I saw one of the hobby swimmer’s girl photos where she and her mates wear one-piece swimsuits, I did NOT thought about fetish. I just saw her as a lovely sportswoman and her mates as excellent swimmers! And the one-piece swimsuit is NOTHING than a simple piece of clothing for me.
The same with the hobby gymnast. She’s an excellent as well as attractive sportswoman and she has a sports / aim credo, which is very similar to mine. I’ve been thinking about it, if I should contact her or not. I also thought about my FORMER fetish, as just mentioned, that I DEFEATED. I have NO problems to watch one of the photos where she wears a leotard. There’s NOTHING erotic about it. The leotard is NOTHING than a simple piece of clothing for me. I just see a successful and – in my own eyes – attractive gymnast! However, I don’t know, if I should contact her. At first, I didn’t want it and I forgot about her for a short while although I like her very much. But last week after I had slept, I suddenly noticed that she has something special. My emotions become stronger and stronger with each day. From one day to another. I’m really interested in her and I have to admit that I fell in love! Of course, I don’t know, if she has a boyfriend and so on.
I’ve been thinking that Jesus sent me a message; especially I’ve never had a girlfriend and that I DEFEATED my fetish and so I do not need to worry. As just mentioned, my feelings changed overnight, and I’ve been feeling happy. I don’t know why. I mean Jesus sent me a message. What do you think? What should I do?
(A little “example”. I know it sounds strange and funny. Maybe, you’ve seen the motion picture “The Fifth Element”. The main character fell in love with the girl from one day to another and his emotions changed completely.)
Regards, thank you very much and god bless you!