So I have quite a terrible conundrum on my hands. I won’t go into specifics unless you need them, but over the weekend, I learned of a path that would get me into my dream career. And when I say “dream career,” I mean it. It’s a specialized sector of the hospitality industry that I have been obsessed with since being a toddler. In work now (I’m in insurance) I feel close to no purpose in what I do, and this career would overbearingly fill that need. And I firmly believe it is a noble profession; I feel as though I can seriously help others and make people happy.
But there’s a problem.
As with anything in hospitality, there’s the inevitable truth that working on Sundays simply has to happen. Now, let me be absolutely clear. I have no intention on working Sundays. I’d much rather work a six day work week than have to violate honoring the Sabbath. Yet, I am intensely conflicted. Here’s a list of my positives and negatives
-doing a quite literal dream job
-making others happier
-making myself happier
-fulfilling a purpose/pleasing my inner child
-a job that I yearn to get out of bed and do
-a job that I’d love
So here’s where it gets tricky. I have three obejections, and I also suffer from scruples, so I have to tread carefully when making decisions. Firstly, even if I don’t work myself in Sunday’s, aren’t I promoting an industry that does? All my co workers, those who we’re attending to, and everyone in between would indeed be working/doing things on Sundays (note this is in the leisure field, so I don’t know that guests would be violating anything.) Secondly, if I were to enter the managerial side of things, there’s an unfortunate truth that I may have to schedule people on Sundays, which again, I have absolutely no desire to do! If I were in charge, we wouldn’t open on Sundays! Finally, I have a particular fear of the sin of scandal, and I fear that my involvement in such an industry could lead others to undermine the Sabbath.
I’m just incredibly conflicted, and confused. I feel like this is the path God is calling me to, He has, for the entirely of my life, allowed me to be so in love with this industry, and carry such an excitement for it, and I can’t see Him not wanting me to experience it. On the other side, I have this ugly, gut feeling that this would be an idol, and that I would be choosing it over God, which I have no desire to do. I fear that the feeling could be the voice of God, but I don’t know that for sure. It’s not as though I prefer money, so I pick up a shift on Sunday. No, I truly hate that unfortunate fact, but there’s no way to get around it!
On a final note, I do feel that this is just one negative among many positives. I think of the vast majority of careers, and how this one, in comparison, does so much good for so many people, and makes them happy.
Please advise. I will contact a priest to have a discussion, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please do pray to the Spirit, ask Him for wisdom, because I could use a whole lot of that right about now.
Saint Augustine, Pray for Us!