I have recently made my way back to the church after a separation of 17 yrs, me and my wife(ex-wife) have been back together for 2 yrs now. I want to get married again but through the Catholic Church, but she doesn’t want to convert. My question is about the birth control pills she takes. If we get remarried through the church, how is that going to effect me? If she takes birth control, isn’t that the same as me practicing contraception?
Cooperation with a contracepting spouse is considered licit under
the following conditions:
This cooperation can be licit when the three following conditions are jointly met:
- when the action of the cooperating spouse is not already illicit in itself;
- when proportionally grave reasons exist for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse;
- when one is seeking to help the other spouse to desist from such conduct (patiently, with prayer, charity and dialogue; although not necessarily in that moment, nor on every single occasion).
In normal speak, this means:
- you do not agree with the contraception
- it would be problematic not to engage in the marital act
- you should be clear in your moral stance
The Church understands that differences in moral stances can arrise, especially in a mixed denomination marriage. The Church also understands that to expect married couples to abstain from the marital act is a bit unrealistic in most cases. And it should be noted that the Church is not asking you to hound your spouse about contraception but to simply be clear about your position and always be willing to charitably explain your beliefs when appropriate.