Doing what's right vs what's right for now (NFP related)


#1

Hi,
Dh and I have decided to use NFP now that my cycles have started after 2 years of infertility (pregnancy and bfing)

We live in a one bedroom condo with 2 kids (4 and 1). We are hoping to move into another home soon, but our condo is not selling. The condo is small, but that is not the reason we are selling. One of the condo rules is NO KIDS. Now, our kids were born while we lived here so it’s not really a huge problem (except to those few who do complain). However, we are encouraged by the to sell our condo.

We are now anxious about what to do if we do become pregnant again while living here. We would LOVE many more kids:), but i can’t see that happening in here, especially with that silly rule!

I feel that if God wants us to have another baby it will happen, and we must put that before all else, however, i’m still scared of getting kicked out since we already have 2 kids.

My question is: What do you think we should do? Abstain until we get a new home in who knows how long? Or, continue to practice NFP and put our trust in God to what happens?

I’m just interested in what you all would do in the situation.:confused:


#2

If there were no reasons other than you wanting to move out and the silly rule, I would just not abstain. I would keep trying to move out and if it happens that baby #3 was born before the condo sold, so be it.


#3

Thanks for the reply kristacecilia:)

And, yes, if there wasn’t a rule in the first place we wouldn’t mind staying here for the time being and until it sold. It’s small, but my grandmother had 17 kids and a 3 bedroom:eek: kinda tight, but full of love!


#4

[quote="catrina2223, post:1, topic:253965"]
Hi,
Dh and I have decided to use NFP now that my cycles have started after 2 years of infertility (pregnancy and bfing)

We live in a one bedroom condo with 2 kids (4 and 1). We are hoping to move into another home soon, but our condo is not selling. The condo is small, but that is not the reason we are selling. One of the condo rules is NO KIDS. Now, our kids were born while we lived here so it's not really a huge problem (except to those few who do complain). However, we are encouraged by the to sell our condo.

We are now anxious about what to do if we do become pregnant again while living here. We would LOVE many more kids:), but i can't see that happening in here, especially with that silly rule!

I feel that if God wants us to have another baby it will happen, and we must put that before all else, however, i'm still scared of getting kicked out since we already have 2 kids.

My question is: What do you think we should do? Abstain until we get a new home in who knows how long? Or, continue to practice NFP and put our trust in God to what happens?

I'm just interested in what you all would do in the situation.:confused:

[/quote]

Is it legal for a condo to have such a rule?Doesn't it go against the Constitution?
Suppose it would say: "No old people";"No women"; "No men"; "No blacks"; "No chinese" ; "No whites".
I am a foreigner but that smells bad.


#5

You already have kids, and they didn't kick you out. Is three the magic number? What can they really do? They can't take the condo away from you, can they?

Do you have a written agreement you can refer to so that you can see what the rule really is?


#6

@HouseArrest: That's what i was thinking! If they didn't kick us out after 2 (even though i am sure some people would have loved that...like the winter residents) what's really going to make them do it now. No, i don't think they can take it away. We own it, and they didn't take it away the first 2 times. I do have the agreement (the owners manual at least) that states the rule, and states that any children born after buying a unit can be "grandfathered" in. I know our decision to nfp instead of abc is ultimately the right choice...but it's really nice to get some feedback to a seemingly sticky situation.
Thanks for your reply :)

@Pfaffenhoffen: I'm in The Bahamas, and some things here are just a bit backwards! And, i agree with you...it's just not right, or fair! Not only that, but when we bought the condo we were newlyweds, and 22 years old! Who would sell a "no kids allowed" condo to 2 young newlyweds? Didn't they think kids would not come along sooner or later!


#7

Yeah, I wouldn’t let that awful rule dictate whether or not God can send any more! I would definitely keep trying to move out, doesn’t sound like a family friendly place :(.


#8

Thank you lifeisbeautiful, and we are definitely trying!


#9

I know its hard right now, I’m guessing the Bahamas are probably having a tough time with properties etc, like much of the world. BTW, how are you guys doing, after Irene?

I know how it feels to be kind of stepping on others toes by having more kids (other people kind of seeing you as annoying, dreading telling certain people you are having another to not deal with reactions, etc), but even though society nowadays can have such an awful view on children, they are still beautiful blessings with eternal souls!


#10

I have a different take on this. Did you read the rules and regulations before signing your purchase agreement? If you knew the rules in advance you can’t get mad about them now. Also having worked in the Apartment industry in the US (can;t speak to the Bahamas) you can write occupancy standards into a rental agreement. You can’t really say “no Kids”, but most complexs in our area are limited to 2 people per bedroom. This is actually a fire and evacuation thing.

You probably should not purposely try to annoy your HOA or neighbors. I would not necessarily say abstain, but I would not recommend actively TTC either.


#11

Alix1912:
We got the agreement package, Owner’s Manual, etc about a week after we moved in. The only thing we signed in the beginning was the mortgage papers and the paper that say that we are buying the condo (not too sure what those are called:o). So, we did know, just not until after we bought it! Selling is frustrating…nobody seems to want to buy, and we have even dropped our price so low we won’t even make a profit! We’ve been in here about 5 years.

As for TTC, we aren’t actively trying. We actually want to avoid until we can get better situated. But, that may not be anytime soon. You know you can’t control God, and a pregnancy could happen in that time. That’s why i was voicing my concern on what others would do in that situation. I don’t want to annoy the association at all…but then again i don’t want to annoy God either:)

I think we will just continue with the nfp to avoid a pregnancy for now…and continue to try to sell/rent out the condo. If we do become preg. with #3 and there is a problem…there is always family we can move in with for a short time:)

Thanks for your reply, it’s great to have different thoughts!


#12

Lifeisbeautiful:
My island fared well in Irene. We had a couple leaks in the roof, and no power or water for a couple days but compared to some of the other islands, we were spared. Now, she is taking her anger out on the east coast, so i’m praying for them also!

Thanks for asking.:slight_smile:


#13

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