I have a friend (the wife of an old Navy buddy of my husband) who lives in New Jersey. Her husband is a violent abuser and she is trying to get her and her kids out of their situation. The latest incident happened with her husband punching their 11 year old son several times and verbally abusing him for getting a D on his report card. The husband actually convinced the police that he only spanked his son and that his son gets nose bleeds when he’s nervous. He also convinced the police that his wife is an unstable alcoholic who makes up stories.
She was very emotional when the police arrived because of what he did to their son and he was calm and seemingly rational. Her son repeated his father’s story to the police. Their 14 year old daughter told the truth about what happened but apparently the police didn’t believe her either. The police had been called to their house before (her husband hit my friend in the head with a beer bottle.) The one police officer angrily said “we’ve been called here before because of drinking.” She said no you were called because my husband broke a beer bottle on my head. The cop said “whatever, next time we get called we’re taking the kids.”
Now she is terrified of her children being put in foster care. Her husband has drained all the money from their bank accounts. She has no car because only a couple weeks ago her car caught fire while she was driving it on the expressway. She managed to escape unharmed but her car exploded and burned to nothing. Her kids actually said to her. “Do you think daddy did something to the car?”
She tried to report him to the Navy in the past but again after speaking with her husband he managed to convince them that she was unbalanced and an alcoholic. They called her back and angrily accused her of trying to get him in trouble.
Now that he knows she is afraid of calling the police she fears he feels he has free reign to do whatever he wants to them. She called an 800 number I found for her from Catholic Charities in NJ. They had a lawyer call her but her husband got the message and flipped out on her. She is going to try to call the lawyer back tomorrow. She has family but no one offered her any help except to tell her to get marriage counseling. Her mother doesn’t believe her because her husband can be very charming to others. She called her a liar and an awful person and told her she was going to hell for falsing accusing her husband.
In this day and age the fact the the police would not believe her when there was blood all over her son’s face just shocks me. She is terrified of losing her kids. Tonight he called everyone in her family and told them she was crazy and she and their 14 year old daughter had tried to beat him up. He has also told this same story to the neighbors.
She is scared and feels incredibly trapped. She’s scared he’ll get the kids if they divorce because of how he seems to convince those around them that she is the crazy one. She’s also scared of what he might do next.
Does anyone know of any other help for abused women and children? She lives in Ocean County, NJ.