Domesticity Is Not Slavery


Thank you for sharing that! I couldn’t agree more!

So they assume that breadwinner husbands never share their income with their wives?

In a marriage there is no his and her income, there is only our income

. When I first married, my wife and I were both working. We closed our separate bank accounts and opened a joint account.


Domestic work is voluntary labor that is generally uncompensated. It’s only slavery if it’s involuntary and enforced.

The entire labor force, military, and volunteer force - and society at large - would completely collapse without the production of new babies by women, who do so at the cost of their own bodies and through, well, labor that is injurious and painful.

None of this is usually compensated. It’s just assumed they will continue to produce.

Fortunately, women continue to have children. But this reason is why I scoff and roll my eyes at those self-righteous and frequently “child-free” people who whine about having to pay for maternity through their insurance policy. Their entire society benefits from women’s reproduction, and their social security frankly rests on it.

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This reminds me of a quote. “Read not the Times; read the eternities.” (capitalization is mine)

Dumbest article I have seen (the Times, not Crisis). It’s like saying one should get paid for taking a bath, as it is labor. Life is not a chore. It is an alternative to being dead. The work people do around their own home is life. One who would believe the premise in the Times should never marry.


Also, I’ve never seen one of these that counts the “uncompensated” work typically done by married men.

I’ve fixed my wife’s engine, but I would think anyone who thinks she should pay me for that is an idiot. Or putting on a new roof, for replacing the outside walls, painting the house, tiling floors, and so forth . . .


I’m old enough to remember when health insurance policies did not include coverage for pregnancies and delivery. We paid for both my kids out of our own pockets because my husband worked for a company that was predominantly male so naturally the rate was lower if it left maternal care out of the policy. And I remember the uproar when prenatal and delivery were made mandatory in his policy. Of course, the care and delivery were much more affordable then…for all health care.

I was very fortunate that I was able to be a stay at home mom for the early years with my kids. I’d do some evening part time work now and then to help as we were pretty poor then…until the economy forced me back to work. I also decided to finish my education…while working full time for most of it. I was fortunate to also have a husband that mentally supported me as well as great neighbors that helped when my kids came home from school when I had a late class. Remember those days? When neighbors really helped each other out? I’ve never regretted being able to be a SAM. I wish all married moms has that as a choice. It’s the most honorable job anyone can do…IF you can do it!


Agreed 100%. If there’s anything that being on lockdown has reinforced for me it is that being a SAM is one of the toughest jobs imaginable and I’m very lucky to be married to a woman who is willing to do it!


That’s awesome! I love it! Can I share it?

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I won’t call it slavery. I do think that there’s a movement, upheld by men and women alike, that overly romanticizes stay-at-home motherhood, and it comes at women’s peril.


I sometimes wonder if writers at Crisis magazine are paid by the adjective. Leaving that aside, the story is a shining example of the straw man argument. Nowhere does the NYT article (actually an opinion piece) describe women’s unpaid domestic work as ‘slavery’. The original article also quantified mens’ unpaid domestic work and pointed out how much less is done by men. This was a substantial part of the NYT opinion piece but Crisis ignored that aspect.

The NYT piece was not, of course, arguing that women’s work in the home should be paid. It was using standard economic measures of production value to show how important that work is.


I was going to work and made this picture fragment.
Look, what a beautiful lessons nature teaches us.
They expect both parents to take care of them😊

Not to mention the more mundane stuff done by married men. Most married men I know share tasks like cleaning the house and changing diapers with their wives. I don’t know anyone who lives in some kind of stereotypical postwar fantasy where the man comes home from work and sits in an armchair smoking a pipe while the wife folds laundry and serves him a four course meal.


Personally, I can’t help with laundry for the simple reason she won’t let me touch the machines! :scream: :roll_eyes: (except, of course, to install and repair them . . . :rofl: :crazy_face:)

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As a man, I’m very domestic when it comes to most things… laundry, cleaning, childcare (I probably spend more time with our 4 year old son than my wife does as we both work full time but my schedule is more flexible)… but cooking is one area where I simply am not able to contribute. That said, I’ll make sure to “contribute” by ordering takeout at least once or twice a week ;).

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fortunately (including for my clothing! :scream:), she was able to stay home until the kids were in college.

She did try to mow the lawn for me.


Fortunately, we still had single paned windows at the time, much cheaper . . .

So she remains banned from mowers and other power tools, and me from the kitchen and laundry room . . .


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