I am almost 19. Single. Live with parents. Catholic. Chaste.
I have no Idea what Vocation I have. I don’t know. And sometimes it gets to me because I don’t know. I see kids my age going to college, knowing what they are going to do, working.
And I don’t even go to college yet. We can barely pay bills, I have no job to support me and lastly nothing to study about! I want to. But I ask myself “for what?”. I hear all these stories from people out of college after years and still can’t find employment, and it scares me. My family is wonderful, healthy thanks be to God, and Catholic. My mother is burning for God, lol. God has helped my mother plant little seeds of Faith in many people and relatives.
I cannot go to a Spiritual Director because once I make an appt. it takes about a month to go in, and He is on vacation I believe.
I don’t know what is to happen. I saw a priest and he looked at me and told me I was going to do big things in the name of the Lord. My mother told me the same thing. And with such assurance. But I ask myself “How? How Am I going to serve the Kingdom of the Lord when I can’t even pay my cell phone bill!?” The nun consecrated life is beautiful, but I just feel like it’s not for me, and I am scared of being alone as I am very attached to my family, but then that worries me because God says you must chose him over your family BARE WITH ME I am scrupulous.:o The only thing I am good at is really playing the Piano, what the heck am I gonna do with that!? Music was a burning passion I have had for years, but now it has been bumped down for love of all things Spiritual and Holy. I want to be able to defend my faith inward and out, blindfolded, and whatever. Like an apologist. Something I can do for God AND Support myself. Is that wrong? To have a Job concerning God and make money? Where I can help people, and open their eyes without fear of being confronted. But first I must take the log out of my own eye. Deep down I have always hid that I do want to find someone If it be God’s will. I have neeever had a boyfriend or relationship. I just couldn’t get myself to do it and disobey my parents behind their backs and feeling it was a sin. I just feel like after letting those “guys slip away” which I did not even have THE NERVE to talk to is going to be worth it in the end if I do find someone.
I am a mess. My life right now consists of watching my Toddler sister as My parents and eldest sister work. Two sisters in school.
How did you discern your Vocation? I told God I wanted to be a warrior for his Kingdom…Now…where to start?:shrug: