Short version: If a marriage is invalid (I am Catholic, husband is not, we were married in a civil ceremony without dispensation) and you divorce, what is your standing in the church? May you still receive the Eucharist? Is it a mortal sin needing confession?
I’ve tried doing some searching through google on the forum and I’m thinking if the marriage is invalid, that only a civil divorce is needed and one is still able to recieve the Eucharist. But I’m not sure. I’m still … really really new at this. And this is not something I ever thought I’d have to ask anyone about.
Long version: Five years ago, my husband and I were married. A civil marriage. I wasn’t attending church, though baptised Catholic. I did not know then that I needed to be married in the church or that a dispensation was needed. But I do know now that my marriage to my husband was/is invalid because I was baptised. He, was not. Into any religion.
We’ve been living with my parents (he immigrated from the US to Canada so we had a few years to wait through immigration) for those past five years. The past year, I returned to the church. Knowing my marriage to be invalid and wanting to be in communion, we haven’t been having relations. In fact, we slept in separate rooms. I’m sure this has stressed things, but on top of that, the relationship between he and my mother has REALLY turned sour.
Last week on our daughters 5th birthday, he ‘moved out’ and has been staying with a new friend of his. He wants me and my daughter to move out with him. Which would be fine, and wonderful, if only financially, we could. We cannot make use of any sort of assistance as we’re in the last 2 year of the immigration process. I’m not working and not able to for another while. I cannot take the stress and worry of moving out and not knowing how I will keep a roof over my daughters head. But he doesn’t seem to understand that. He is just seeing and feeling the hurt and stress of the relationship he has with my mother.
I understand that. I really do. But … we cannot, not right now at least, move out into an apartment and do it on our own. We spoke this Thursday past, and he had agreed to come home, here to my parents house. Where we would try and work on things. To even save up to get out on our own. He left Thursday night with a promise to return tonight.
I got an email an hour ago from him, letting me know he doesn’t feel good about returning. That he doesn’t know what he is doing. I don’t know how to make a marriage work when one part is living elsewhere. I’ve prayed (maybe I haven’t prayed properly? I’m sure God knows I could be doing a lot more) and I’ve worried and I’ve stressed.
My daughter is heartbroken. I feel like a complete and total mess. I don’t want to lose church. My returning, has honestly been the best thing to happen to me in the longest time. Such a comfort comes to me (even though I often worry about my daughters behaviour while at church) when I am at mass.
I’m losing one part … what would I do if I lose that too.