Don't marry HER if


I’m not sure why only young women need advice on choosing a mate. Don’t young men need to exercise an equal amount of discretion?

Here are some pieces of advice that I would give my son when he’s older.

1.) Marry a woman who puts Christ first in her life. This is non-negotiable. “Do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever,” 2 Cor. 6:14.

2.) Don’t marry someone who believes in divorce. You want someone who is 100% committed to staying with you in good times and bad. Some people treat marriage like “going steady,” and feel it’s acceptable to “break up” when a marriage goes sour. God sees marriage as a bond which lasts for life. Make certain that the woman you marry considers wedding vows to be a lifelong obligation.

3.) “Marry in haste, repent in leisure.” In other words, take your time and be very careful in choosing to marry. Don’t marry someone you haven’t known for at least one full year. Don’t marry before age 23 (marriages at younger ages often fail). Don’t marry someone who will actively subvert your religious or moral principles. Don’t marry someone who won’t make a good mother.

4). Don’t marry someone you aren’t attracted to. This may sound obvious, but people do it. If you’re not attracted to her now, you certainly won’t be 20 years from now. If a woman is not satisfactory to your romantic side, she isn’t the right person to be your wife.

5). The best woman to marry isn’t necessarily the prettiest, smartest, funniest, richest, or most religious woman you’ve ever dated. Rather, the best woman to marry is the woman with the best combination of those traits. For example, the prettiest woman in the world isn’t right for you if she doesn’t make you laugh. The smartest woman in the world isn’t right for you if she has bad morals. Look for the best combination of traits, not just the woman who excels in one particular category.

6). Don’t marry a woman who has ever committed a crime or bad act against you. This includes stealing from you, abusing you, insulting you, hitting you, cheating on you, lying to you about a major issue, or disrespecting you or the people and things you care about.

7). Drug and alcohol addiction is common, and many people manage to overcome addictions. But think long and hard before marrying a recovering addict and don’t marry her unless she is firmly committed to remaining away from drugs and alcohol. Never, under any circumstances, marry someone who is currently abusing drugs or alcohol.


In addition to what’s been mentioned I’d tell my son:

  1. Don’t marry a woman who is TOO eager to marry you early in the relationship. You want a woman who wants to marry you rather than someone who just wants to be married.

  2. Don’t marry a woman who needs to be rescued from her current circumstances, be they family, finances, health, etc. Help her if you think it’s appropriate. But don’t marry her unless she herself achieves a stable state in life and can maintain it for a year or more.

  3. If she comes from a background which is a lot more privileged than you can hope to duplicate, don’t marry her unless you have evidence that she wants to live within your means.


I’ve watched and lost a friend to this one:

Don’t marry her if she has more mental illnesses than a psychology text book. (same goes in reverse though)


Don’t marry her if she is cruel to people that she is angry at. Sooner or later she is going to get mad at you and she will treat you the exact same way.


look at her family relationships
is she hostile, bitter, estranged from family members esp. parents? depending on why, could really be bad news.

conversely, is she overly dependent on either parent, can’t seem to make decisions or any move without their approval. does she chose parents over you time and again–this is a deal killer in my book.

does she harbor resentments against people in general, constantly blaming others when things go wrong in her life–stay away or she will start blaming you.

how does she treat inferiors, servants, children, is she just as polite to underlings as to her boss or someone she wants to impress, if not, someday you will be her inferior in her mind

does she respect your human dignity and chastity, as well as her own, if you are one in a string of relationships, it is only a matter of time before this one fades, and you are dumped.

what is her attitude toward money and possessions? does she judge people by what they wear, what they drive, how much they make? do you want to be judged that way? if not, run

is she generally satisfied with her life, making positive changes and progress in changing things that need changing, making good decisions, have a positive outlook, worthwhile goals and aspirations. If she is looking to you to fix everything wrong with her and her life, she will never be happy no matter what you do for her.


…she is more interested in planning a big party for the wedding than she is in planning for the marriage. I know that most women have an ideal wedding, but if she’s a Bridezilla during the engagement period, imagine what she’ll be like once the party’s over and reality sets in. :eek:


Don’t marry a woman if…

She’s more interested in her shoes, handbags & clothes than being with you.
She’s is, feels and thinks that she’s more educated than you, therefore treat you like her servant.
She thinks that you are a walking bank.
She wants you to do the morning/night prayer for the whole family, so that she can sleep early. Take turn!
She prefers Paris Hilton than Blessed Virgin Mary.
She can’t cook and doesn’t want to learn.

She believes in ABC and pro-choice.


Hey I couldn’t cook. That’s why I married him. He could cook! I guess we could say "Don’t marry him if he isn’t willing to help with the household chores, ie cooking and cleaning. Assuming he can read, then he can learn to cook too!


[Oooh! Oooh! It’s one of those infamous [thread=129648]out of context quotes[/thread] :smiley: ]

Especially her mother – Because that is who you will be married to in 30 years.

Or to phrase as the thread:

Don’t marry her if you wouldn’t want to be married to her mother.

Who loves his mother-in-law, and always has


This doesn’t always hold true. My mom was crazy and had serious mental problems. Thus far, I am not her.

I have to go now. The dog is talking to me. Let’s all be very quiet. Sshhh…:smiley:


I would say don’t marry her if she doesn’t make you feel like you are a confident, intelligent and strong man.

Don’t marry her if she berates and picks at everything you do.



But this is so true, I have two very good friends who’s mothers have major mental issues. Both these women have made excellent mothers and wives. :slight_smile:


I believe my father was thinking more about looks when he proffered that bit of advice… But nurture goes a long way to forming opinions and attitudes too.

(An my bride did inherit her mother’s genetic propensity for soft-tissue problems – I wish neither one needed suffer them, but I love them both anyway)



I’m not sure how I feel about this thread.
I am definately not the same person I was when I was dating.
And, I happen to think I was a pretty darn good catch! :stuck_out_tongue:

That is the wonderful thing about being human, we have the ability and free will to change.


Your dog talks too. :smiley:


Neither am I; I’m turning into my mother. :bigyikes:
(My mom was great, but it’s a bit disturbing to find her looking back at me in the mirror. :slight_smile: )


u guys are so funny!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


4). Don’t marry someone you aren’t attracted to. This may sound obvious, but people do it. If you’re not attracted to her now, you certainly won’t be 20 years from now. If a woman is not satisfactory to your romantic side, she isn’t the right person to be your wife.

I don’t know about this one. Maybe when she’s had a headache for 10 years, it wouldn’t be so hard for the husband to take if he wasn’t really attracted to her to begin with. :smiley:

Don’t marry a woman with any vices whatsoever. If they don’t have the self mastery to conceal them throughout the engagement period they certainly will not be a master over their own vices after the vows are exchanged. :smiley:


Don’t marry her if … she’s on more than five psychotropic drugs.


I’m nothing like my mother.

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