I’m not sure why only young women need advice on choosing a mate. Don’t young men need to exercise an equal amount of discretion?
Here are some pieces of advice that I would give my son when he’s older.
1.) Marry a woman who puts Christ first in her life. This is non-negotiable. “Do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever,” 2 Cor. 6:14.
2.) Don’t marry someone who believes in divorce. You want someone who is 100% committed to staying with you in good times and bad. Some people treat marriage like “going steady,” and feel it’s acceptable to “break up” when a marriage goes sour. God sees marriage as a bond which lasts for life. Make certain that the woman you marry considers wedding vows to be a lifelong obligation.
3.) “Marry in haste, repent in leisure.” In other words, take your time and be very careful in choosing to marry. Don’t marry someone you haven’t known for at least one full year. Don’t marry before age 23 (marriages at younger ages often fail). Don’t marry someone who will actively subvert your religious or moral principles. Don’t marry someone who won’t make a good mother.
4). Don’t marry someone you aren’t attracted to. This may sound obvious, but people do it. If you’re not attracted to her now, you certainly won’t be 20 years from now. If a woman is not satisfactory to your romantic side, she isn’t the right person to be your wife.
5). The best woman to marry isn’t necessarily the prettiest, smartest, funniest, richest, or most religious woman you’ve ever dated. Rather, the best woman to marry is the woman with the best combination of those traits. For example, the prettiest woman in the world isn’t right for you if she doesn’t make you laugh. The smartest woman in the world isn’t right for you if she has bad morals. Look for the best combination of traits, not just the woman who excels in one particular category.
6). Don’t marry a woman who has ever committed a crime or bad act against you. This includes stealing from you, abusing you, insulting you, hitting you, cheating on you, lying to you about a major issue, or disrespecting you or the people and things you care about.
7). Drug and alcohol addiction is common, and many people manage to overcome addictions. But think long and hard before marrying a recovering addict and don’t marry her unless she is firmly committed to remaining away from drugs and alcohol. Never, under any circumstances, marry someone who is currently abusing drugs or alcohol.