Don't miss my family as much as they miss me?


#1

I just moved to college, and my family misses me a lot. However, I don’t think I feel the same. Yes, I love them and miss them in a way, but my family is generally very negative and their environment is draining to my spiritual and mental health. I could do just fine without talking to them a lot, it drains me every time I talk to them. Am I in the wrong for feeling that way?


#2

Feelings are feelings. They happen, they aren’t right or wrong.

Perhaps being away from your family will be good for everyone. It will give you a chance to thrive in a more positive environment and perhaps give them a chance to consider their own behavior.


#3

No, it’s normal. I will be honest here, I loved my parents, but when I went to college at age 17, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. Life with my parents, who were in their mid- to late-50s and coping with a lot of stuff like dad’s illness, was routine and boring. I think I missed them maybe the first night I was gone and after that I didn’t miss them any more because I met a bunch of new friends and found a lot of fun stuff to do.

Be kind to your family. Kids going to college is often a lot harder on the parent than it is on the kid, who is excited to be off living a wonderful new life.

Your family may also have a reason they seem “negative”. Often, older people have been through a lot and seen a lot and they are jaded. Again, be kind.


#4

I sometimes think back and regret how little I considered their feelings when I left for school. But it was a new life for me, filled with new people and opportunities and freedom. It think it is normal and healthy.


#5

No, you’re not. Just remember to be kind to them.


#6

If it’s healthier for you to be away from your family and you don’t miss them, it sounds overall like a good thing.

My son moved to college last week, and I really hope he doesn’t miss us if it in any way would affect his enjoyment of and dedication to his studies.

Best of luck with your studies.


#7

I don’t think it’s uncommon.I loved my family when I was young ,went overseas when I was 20 and felt a bit guilty I didn’t really miss them.Some homesickness kicked in half a year after I left,and I did write to them regularly and phoned each week or two.It could be different now with constant texting ,more pressure perhaps .And maybe the distance may make the heart grow fonder too,that could be a bonus if they do give you some space .


#8

Some people just aren’t all that family oriented. I took a series of psychology tests a few years back and was told that very thing. And it’s true. When my family is away I rarely think of them and never miss them. My five brothers and sister are people I grew up with but don’t consider myself close to at all. I don’t dislike them, I’m just indifferent. It’s not something to worry about. You will have strengths and attributes elsewhere. No two of us will ever be the same.


#9

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