[quote="dryingmywings, post:1, topic:320687"]
My mom abused me as a kid-physically, emotionally and sexually- and neglected me too. I've come a long way from where I started when she left my life. Back then, I hated her. I'm ashamed to admit that. Now, I really do want her to go to heaven. She's had a very rough life and has never really known happiness. Basically, she's a sad person.
My problem is that I cannot be around her her on earth. She's not safe for me. In fact, if I see her I get physically sick which is my body telling me to get out. So, when I think that when she dies she'll go to heaven and then when I die I'll see her there, I can't handle the thought. I just don't want to see her there. Is this...wrong? How do you think I can overcome this?
Getting sick at the sight of your mom is actually a healthy response to such an abusive past. It is a coping mechanism that helps you in this life. It shows that you know you do not want to ever be treated that way again! That is a sign of a healthy conscience. You know you deserve to be treated in a kind, respectful, loving manner. You deserved to have an awesome mom, who took care of you, and laughed with you, and praised you for each of your accomplishments. :) I think that is why God gave us Mary, so we can each have his loving mom. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. Even a good mom isn't always there for you. Life gets in the way! But God is always there for us!
If your mother ever makes it to Heaven, it will most likely be due to your prayers. In Heaven all her faults will have been purged. All that will remain, is the lovely woman, and mother God intended her to be for you! You will have nothing to fear ever again! I'm looking forward to that!