I struggle with this, but it’s due to a personal experience I’ve often written about on this forum.
The night my father died, he appeared in my room. We argued and talked, and at the end he gave one almighty scream and then disappeared. I think he’s in Hell - cruel, vindictive, bad tempered, and unrepentant. He’d have qualified for unconfessed mortal sin several times over.
However at one time he blurted out, “I always was doomed! I didn’t really have any choice!”
I was an atheist, but I argued back saying “That can’t be right!” (in the democratic sense), to which he replied, “Oh, it’s right all right! You can see that from here!”
But later in the same exchange, he admitted “I was WILLING!” I’d say very willing (to do the cruel stupid things that got him condemned).
So our “free will” comes into it. He had twenty years to do something about his behaviour, and did nothing. If anything, he got worse. By the time he died, I think it would have been more accurate to say he was a bad temper.
I even had a vision sometime before he died where “someone” said “I gave him a great little family, and all he’s done is wreck it!”
On the night he died, he admitted “All I was expected to do was to look after my own family, and I didn’t even do that!”
The other point that came through however was that he was judging himself, as with the comment above, and others -
“I did it deliberately…” (tried to destroy my confidence).
“I’ve been an absolute mongrel to you…”
“There’s no hope for me…”
“It’s too late for me…”
Yet five minutes before he died, there was no way you’d have got him to admit to this. It all would have been our fault.
We talk about the judgment seat. But I think we’ll find that with all the illusions stripped away in front of the appalling divine holiness, we won’t have any choice but to judge ourselves.
And we may not like what we see. One thing is for sure - like my father, we’ll find our the judgment is correct. In fact, we’ll pronounce judgment on ourselves. We won’t be able to avoid it.
Whether we have any real say in our ultimate fate is beyond me. But I know that we’ll agree with the verdict.