I’m starting to have serious doubts about Christianity. This is the first time i’ve been exposed to the non American/prosperity gospel variant of Christianity and it’s wonderful. The people give a damn, go out of their way to be nice, people care. Now the problem, the idea of Christ as well as the rest of the Bible sounds nice but I just disagree with a lot of it’s applications as well as it’s countless contradictions.
I have had scant exposure to the religon and growing up despised the American/prosperity gospel variant with a passion for it’s woeful ignorance, foolishness and the stupidity of it’s followers so I went out of my way to avoid it. I always had respect for the mainline variants for their adheriants to rites, rules and rejection of materialism, but I never bothered with it since I never had it around me growing up.
A mentor of mine growing up was buddhist, and while I did have plenty of pagan elements growing up I didn’t ever believe the gods were real, they were more like archtypes/good examples. No matter how much I wish, I know Thor won’t appear and just fry people with miljonir. Also the values and cultural elements that christianity later adopted in Christmas and Easter to make it more palitable as well as modifying the bible for European consumption.
Biggest problem I have is swallowing all this, especially with all the stuff I know. Jesus is awesome and all that, but the whole fallen nature of man, stains on souls, etc. People in general suck, but geez I never bought into the whole fallen nature thing, I just figure it’s an evolutionary holdover and well, people in general are kinda dumb.
Still, all that aside, there is one thing that sticks out, the people really do care. I can’t complain too much, they chose to let me in and have been so nice. The godparent the priest suggested is a nice retired guy who kinda reminds me of santa claus with a nicely kept beard. He’s kind to people who had messed up lives and the priest and nun who’s helping me along highly recomended him.
I don’t know, Part of it is just all the horrible disfunction i’ve been through and am still in therapy over (I’m about done with it though, the church has done more good to be honest).
I’m still trying to make sense out of what really is a new experience for me.
The trust aspect also plays into this, I get the feeling I can trust these people, they won’t just leave me in the cold when it’s convenient.