Hey monicad, no problem. Just to let you know, half the reason Pete talked the way he did was becuase he was an inner-city black man. I’m not sure the basketball team spoke much more intelligibly than he did. But I wanted to write like he spoke beucase thats how he was to me. I’m sorry if it came off as babyish.
And as an employer I’ve been witness to meltdowns and tandrums, again, its nothing compared to what parents face. At this point, I felt the OP didn’t seem to need to hear anything frustrating…only that her child will be loved, wanted and valued by some of us in society…and that she can mourn the loss of her dreams. Most parents of 5mo’s don’t want to hear that their child will have tantrums and make their life miserable. And yes, there is alot of daily life where a kid is just a kid and a family is just a family.
As a note, I work with a variety of handicaps, some mixed…and I make it a point to NEVER ask their specific diagnosis, only to what their IEP contains so I can help them improve. And with that note, I ask my student employees what their career goals are, even if they are hired to “just” put something on the shelf.
I would be completely offended, too, if someone told me it was good I was training these kids so they could do . What I teach them is NEVER about job skills but about learning and improving themselves.
One of the hardest things is looking in the face of “Ken” when he sees me drive my car. He will never be able to drive but he wants it so badly. His little sister (younger by 5 years) will be driving independently soon. It kills him. But it also kills my friend who’s my age and has something-or-other epilepsy that makes it impossible for her to drive…even though she was “average” in every way she faces the same frustrations.
Society gives us this laundry list of accomplishments that we’re supposed to perfect, or else we’re defective. And as a college graduate with dyslexia and a hearing issue, I know how disparaging some teachers can be. I’ve had college math profs take off points for spelling errors becuase they felt it was their “job” even though they knew I struggled with it, becuase they deemed I was being lazy. I had them refuse to let me use a voice recorder becuase if “I didn’t listen hard enough then I shouldn’t be in the classroom.” It affects my social life, my job and even my religious outlook. And those are just with minor disabilities.
and ps. If you look at some of the threads many catholic singles have had no luck finding someone into their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s and most don’t have any impairments.