I am 24 years old and for most of my life have never really believed in any god. At the end of this month my father will have been passed on for 3 years, him and my mother were both very much against religion and faith until a few nights ago I shared their choice. 4 nights ago I had a dream of my father and a friend who had recently passed away from a long time illness and they spoke to me about needing to find God and needing to fix the relationship I never wanted in the past to have, I woke up and brushed it off as a strange dream, the 2nd night it was just my father continuing to urge me to speak to a priest or speak to someone of faith about God and the feeling was like the night before I felt like I was actually there with him not like the other dreams I have had where it was a memory or something it was as if I felt him there and I was happy and almost a feeling of overwhelming joy. The 3rd night was again my father but this time it was almost a feeling of fear I guess, he begged me to fix my relationship with God, I remember him saying “You NEED to fix this now” “Don’t be like me, Don’t end up like me” He was crying and it was a dream I wanted to wake up from so bad I just was almost scared to sleep again, so I actually prayed to God to help me understand the dreams and then last night it was different I was in church after church after church and each time there was a different man there with me in what must have been a dozen different churches and I remember feeling like I was in love or something, I don’t know how else to really describe the feeling. I spoke to my step-father who is very catholic and he said to go to church and talk to someone that it sounded like god speaking to me through my father. I just sort of wanted a different opinion from someone who doesn’t know my family and doesn’t really know me so it isn’t bias I guess…I don’t even know if it makes a whole lot of sense but there it is…Was it just dreaming of my father since the anniversary of his death is around the corner or could it have been God telling me something?
Thank you for any help, I am just so truly lost and confused
Bailey- Portland, Oregon