Ok, so my daughter is in Europe right now. My dad offered to take her with him while he visited relatives in Germany (they also are going to France and possibly Switzerland or Austria.) I think he is totally awesome for giving her this opportunity. They left the first week in August and won’t be back until the 31st.
My mom stayed home -she did not want to go. Which is actually good because my parents fight horribly and I honestly don’t think I would have let our daughter go if she was going because I did the whole vacation in Germany while I was a kid and their fighting made me miserable.
So my mom is nearly 80 and doesn’t drive. She also hates being home, and stressed about being alone. I call her everyday to check on her and take her places and/or stop by several times a week between working my part time job. My mom is a very negative person, and any changes or stress just makes her worse. Its been two weeks now of listening to her constant complaining, her regrets in life (basically her whole life is one big regret according to her), how awful my dad was/is, how much more successful the rest of her family is, how much money they have, (my parents are not hurting for money -my dad and my daughter flew first class to Germany and are staying at a hotel that cost $125 a night for nearly a month), it goes on and on and on.
I’ve tried reasoning with her, tried getting her to see all the good things in her life, trying to get her to see how hearing all this negative stuff about my dad all the time really bothers me etc. It doesn’t matter -everytime I’m around her or talk to her -its the same thing, and its getting worse the longer my dad is gone. I can’t not check on her, that wouldn’t be right. She has all sorts of health problems and she is home alone. There is no other family here and her friends are elderly like her and in worse condition. I am starting to crack from being dragged down from all the negativity.
I already sort of hung up on her once -I did say goodbye but I don’t know if she heard me because she was obnoxiously repeating the same phrase over and over just so I couldn’t get a word in. I was with her again today. I brought over my Godchild because she really loves little kids and adores my Godchild. Usually she’s very happy when I bring her over. But it was all negativity again. All the things she never got to do (supposedly my dad’s fault -my mom can not ever accept responsibility for anything -really she can’t, never has.) All the things she never had. And all about material wealth and physical beauty. For example my cousin “married beneath her” because the man she married was nearly 10 years older and not nearly as handsome as the man she previously dated -who her mom (my mom’s sister) wanted her to marry. Now he’s old and sick and she would have done so much better with a younger, richer man. Doesn’t matter that they are very happy together. (Gag…it just makes me want to gag.)
I’ve still got another 11 days of dealing with this until my dad gets back. I’m starting to feel run down, and almost depressed from the constant barage. I dread calling her everyday -but I make myself because God forbid something happens. She drives me mad but I still love her.
I don’t know if there is even an answer except just suck it up and get through it. God help me if my dad passes before my mom (I know that sounds awful) but I don’t know what I’d do.