E-harmony Rejects


Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if anyone here ever got rejected from e-harmony. After filling out thousands of questions they told me I was incompatible with all the millions of people in their database! My sister filled on out and got accepted------:shrug:


That has got to be terribly frustrating. From what I have read, their rejection letter is a boiler plate that they send to everyone they reject, giving no clue as to what went wrong.

A blog named eHarmony Blog, but which is unaffiliated with eHarmony, has done some research to offer some insight in the rejections:

Reason #1. You said you are separated or married on page 1. 30% of eHarmony rejects fall into this category, according to a May 2007 article in the Washington Post.

Reason #2. You said you are below 20 on page 1. 27% percent fall into this category.

Reason #3. You said you were married more than twice on page 1.1

Reason #4. Your answers don’t tally, i.e., (a) you clicked randomly or (b) for example, you put “1″ under Aloof on page 1, but checked “Outgoing” on page 6. 9% of rejects fall into this category.

Reason #5. You scored low on the following traits — eHarmony calls them dimensions:

* Self-Concept (how you perceive yourself)
* Emotional Status (feeling happy, fulfilled and hopeful)
* Character (honesty and trustworthiness)
* Obstreperousness (the black hole dimension)
* Character (honesty and trustworthiness)2
* Emotion Management: Anger (expressing negative emotions constructively)
* Conflict Resolution (resolving issues).
* Family Background (happy childhood and supportiveness of your parents)



Wow, that’s gotta suck! Don’t lose heart though. I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. They just don’t happen to be on eHarmony!


I had filled out all of the million questions too and it said that there were no matches for me. I had always assumed it was because I had put it a top priority to date someone of the same faith. Then again, after reading the info that Dale_M supplied us with, I would say that there was a fair chance that I put answers that might have seemed contradictory to each other. I guess that’s what happens when you are shy but daring, spiritual yet sensual, etc.

That’s okay, because I ended up trying Catholic Match and met a guy who seems to appreciate how, hmmmmm, well balanced I am. It’s been over a year now, and I think I have met my match. Can’t imagine that I would have done better with e-harmony. I guess it is just not cut out to handle those of us who don’t fit into their various cookie cutters.


I was rejected and I figured it meant I was some weird personality type, but now that I see this, it's probably 'cause I'm only 18. Why doesn't it tell you before you start that you should be over 20? :confused:


My widowed SIL was rejected because she was 63… told her it was an “incorrect” age…:shrug:


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