I think it’s important, @Spedteacherita, as I read what you have written, to know exactly what this forum is. There’s a reason for the website disclaimer
DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers.
There are almost no clergy on this forum; even fewer on this forum are theologians who hold the mandatum
So many of the views and opinions causing you concern are people stating things completely contrary to the positions of the Holy See, to the Second Vatican Council and to the College of Bishops.
Every Catholic MUST assent that the following statement is what Vatican II decreed in Unitatis Redintegratio:
It follows that the separated Churches and Communities as such, though we believe them to be deficient in some respects, have been by no means deprived of significance and importance in the mystery of salvation. For the Spirit of Christ has not refrained from using them as means of salvation which derive their efficacy from the very fullness of grace and truth entrusted to the Church
So you can ask: “Do you, as a Catholic, affirm as you are obliged, that the Spirit of Christ has used the Lutherans as a means of salvation ?”
If a Catholic answers “no,” beware. They are not faithful to the teaching of the Council
The Bishops alone are the guardians and the authentic teachers of the Deposit of the Faith
Ask Catholics whose words you find troubling
Do you accept and hold unconditionally the Conciliar decree on ecumenism, Unitatis Redintegratio?
Do you personally affirm the Council declaration Dignitatis humanae?
Do you accept and hold unconditionally the Papal encyclical Ut Unum Sint by Pope Saint John Paul II?
“Do you hold that it is your local Bishop – under whose jurisdiction and authority you live your Catholic life, who has governance of your soul and jurisdiction over you – as well as the National Conference of Catholic Bishops – are the ones competent under the Holy See to to tell you, as a Catholic lay person what is to be done ecumenically and that you are in complete submission to their every directive, as obliged by the Holy See in Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism?”
A number of posters in this thread would be unable to answer yes. If they cannot, that tells you what you need to know about their trustworthiness
Beyond the Magisterium, it’s the Church’s theologians and each diocese’s ecumenical officials – not laity on a forum – who are authentic sources for you to look to for what the Church really teaches about ecumenism and our relations to our non-Catholic sisters and brothers
I share with you a favorite image from the Service of Common Prayer last year in Lund, Sweden. From left to right, the Cardinal Prefect of the PCPCU; Bishop Munib Younan then President of the Lutheran World Federation; Pope Francis; The Rev. Dr Martin Junge, General Secretary of LWF, and the Most Reverend Antje Jackelén, Lutheran Metropolitan Archbishop of Uppsala