Elope? Is it possible?


#1

My bride to be and I have been engaged for 4 months, and are waiting untill June for the big day. I’m Catholic, shes Assembly of God and loves Mass so far. We have a Catholic Wedding planned.

Is it possible to elope and still have the big wedding in June?:cool:

This is a thought we have been having, but havent brought it to anyones attention. 8)

Does anyone know if there can be a very small Catholic wedding, and still have the Large one later?


#2

You can not elope and then have the Church wedding.
You can have a small church wedding and then a larger one outside of the Church if you want…
Key is that the Church wedding has to occur first:)


#3

I dont understand why the big one would have to be outside the church. I understand some parts being left out since they only ocur once, but you know how families want it.
:rolleyes:


#4

If you want a small Church wedding and then at a later time a larger Catholic wedding why not just have a large Catholic wedding to start:confused:


#5

because its not scheduled for another 8 months. June.
We don’t want to wait any longer. Most of my family can’t come untill next year.

I’ve only been in communion with the CHurch for just under a year. So forgive my protestantness that clings in my head… :wink:


#6

I am under the impression that in order to get married in the Catholic Church you have to go through 6 months of marriage prep at your parish. Have you researched this? It’s hard to “elope” if you eloping encludes 6 months of classes before hand.


#7

First of all, congratulations on your engagement and future marriage!!! :slight_smile:

This is one thing Canon Law says in the mixed marriage section:
ß3 It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with ß1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-Catholic minister, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.

Can. 1134 From a valid marriage there arises between the spouses a bond which of its own nature is permanent and exclusive.

Anyways, once marriage occurs, it cannot reoccur. The bond is there, permanently through the sacrament of marriage. Can you have your small wedding first (provided you have gone through the preparation needed etc) and then later on have the reception with all your relatives?
With regards to the eloping, if you have gone through the preparation and requirements, you might be able to talk to your priest and see if he thinks it would be ok to move the date up for your marriage celebration. You could just have the witnesses and the celebrant there, if that is what you wanted (though I have heard many stories of parents that were sad and hurt to have missed their children’s weddings, but anyways, don’t want to send you on a guilt trip :slight_smile: ). A marriage is something to celebrate, though, so I know I personally never wanted to elope and not have at least my immediate family there (if possible).


#8

I know you are focused on the here and now…but think ahead 5-10-15 years on the memories you will have of sharing the celebration of your commitment to each other with a whole host of family and friends. There is truly no day more special in the life of a married couple and it is made all the richer by being surrounded by those who love you and wish you well. Your marriage is not just an event that occurs one day, but a life-long journey; not an isolated ceremony between you and your spouse, but the blending of two entire families. Start it off right by acknowledging that fact and making everyone who is a part of your new life together feel a valued and welcomed part of it.


#9

Thanks for your replies. I had an idea that was what I would hear. I think extremely highly of the Sacriment of marriage, and really look foreward to it and the bond and growth in the Church.
I know your prob thinking I’m living in sin and the guilt is driving this. Thats not the case. :thumbsup: She’s wonderful, and hopefully Catholic when I’m done with her. lol
I wouldn’t dream of being married outside of the Church and the Sacriment.
And yes, the marriage interviews and group meetings are fun.:stuck_out_tongue: I didn’t know it would last all of 6 months though.
Thats why I need to get married. I’m lost-don’t you see. lol

Guess the 8 months will give me time to reconsider a monastic life. :smiley:
Thanks for letting me show my ignorance here instead of to my Priest or parents… AHHHH .:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

P.S. She’s alergic to latex…lol… Told her she’d make a perfect Catholic. /J/K
:slight_smile:


#10

My husband and I were engaged for about a year and a half, and it seemed to drag along, but ultimately it was good for us. We finished school, and I had plently of time to plan the wedding without getting all stressed out and forgetting the whole purpose of it all. We got married this past May, and I will admit that by December, both my husband and I were getting pretty anxious…we daydreamed of asking our priest if he could just marry us right then in a small wedding and cancel the one in May…but I am SO glad we did not do that. For one thing, waiting will teach you to be patient. Another is that I am SO HAPPY that our families and friends were able to celebrate with us, and we were able to use our Nuptial Mass as a time to evangelize to everyone who came. Believe me, I understand that you “can’t wait”…but it’s all worth it in the end. Enjoy this time as an engaged couple. You will be married the rest of your life, but engagement is a special time you will only experience once.


#11

Thanks. That sounded beautiful. It is a great time. I have learned alot about discipline and patience…more than I though I could. :slight_smile: But as you said your glad you waited afterall. Thanks for sharing that.
:smiley:


#12

As long as you finished the pre-marriage prep, you can have a small Catholic wedding with the priest with just your parents and other select guests, then do a big “renewal of vows” type wedding later on in the Church with everyone. That’s what we’re doing since we’re both military and I’m in med school and don’t have time to plan a big one right now.


#13

The Canon law quoted above shows this is a not an option:

This is one thing Canon Law says in the mixed marriage section:
ß3 It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with ß1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-Catholic minister, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.


#14

We eloped and the wedding was in church! We simply arranged the elopement wedding with the local Priest. There is no reason you can’t have a big wedding later. But I’d advise you to elope to the church, not to the justice of the peace.


#15

Nope! :nope: It would be an invalid marriage!

If you elope, you are not married in the eyes of God! So…every so called “marital act” would be FORNICATION…not marital.

Also, you would have to get your marriage convalidated. Big church wedding would be totally out of the picture for a convalidation. You would loose the “big church” opportunity, as it is inappropriate for a convalidation.

Why not just have a smaller, more simple church wedding now? You can just have you two, the priest and close family and friends. Minimal decorations and expenses. My husband and I did, and we are SO glad. Stress free, simple, and best of all, NO debt! :wink: Also, we had so much more time and energy to focus on each other, the vows, and God. It was SO worth it. :thumbsup:


#16

My husband and I eloped…and then years later…when we reimmersed ourselves back into our faith–had our marriage blessed by a priest, and therefore now it is “valid.”

I am not sure though, about a wedding?? Hmmm…I’ll leave that to our scholars on here to answer.:slight_smile:


#17

uh…this thread is from Oct. of 2006


#18

isn’t he talking about a june 2007 wedding?


#19

Not that this pertains to me anymore…but just curious…why wouldn’t someone be permitted to have a big wedding, if they eloped…so long as they didn’t ‘consumate’ that marriage? That’s interesting…I’m curious now:D


#20

Well, most people (may be some rare exceptions out there) who elope aren’t going to postpone the consumation. Call it a hunch, but they are probably seeking an “okay” to be…well…marital! For Catholics, this is not a blessing to be marital, it’s simply an invalid marriage that would have to be convalidated. Anything that happens before that convalidation would be fornication.

Convalidations are supposed to be more private. They are the validation of an invalid marriage, which could confuse or even cause scandal to some. Most priests will keep these relatively private (open only to the couple and witnesses, or couple/witnesses and close family.) Some priests will allow for a large wedding, but it is not the norm.

Maybe there’s a cannon law expert who can give further details on this matter? :ehh:


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