Emailed something I regret


#1

In anger I sent a horribly cruel email to a very long time online friend.

I am sickened about how hateful I was and every time I think about it I feel terrible.

She is very volatile - otoh she is very opinionated and has let me down many times-which is what prompted the email outburst.

I feel so bad over it I really dont know what to do.

Can a person make things better after being hurtful? I can’t see how-otoh maybe I was being passive aggressive and tried to end the friendship with an easy excuse because I dont want it anymore.

I am not sure…I just hate hurting her either way and would like to mend that.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks


#2

[quote="snowpea, post:1, topic:227910"]
In anger I sent a horribly cruel email to a very long time online friend.

I am sickened about how hateful I was and every time I think about it I feel terrible.

She is very volatile - otoh she is very opinionated and has let me down many times-which is what prompted the email outburst.

I feel so bad over it I really dont know what to do.

Can a person make things better after being hurtful? I can't see how-otoh maybe I was being passive aggressive and tried to end the friendship with an easy excuse because I dont want it anymore.

I am not sure...I just hate hurting her either way and would like to mend that.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks

[/quote]

You can attempt to call her and apologize or you can simply leave it alone. Either way the damage is done so unless she is the forgiving sort, I'd guess that she'll either fire one back at you or there will be an almost eerie silence from her corner. I would recommend never emailing someone you are angry with. Instead, calm down and either phone them or better yet, speak to them in person. Written text (email, these forums, etc) are the worst means to communicate known to mankind. Facial expressions, body language, tone, voice inflections, etc... are all absent and messages that were type get misunderstood all the time.


#3

If it were me I would send another email telling the truth of how you were feeling ie angry at the time and apologise for your tone and remarks in your earlier email.
We are called to forgive one another so your friend should forgive you.If not at least you have attempted to make ammends and do the right thign in apologising.

We are all human and all lose our temper from time to time.It sounds like you have tolerated a lot from this person.Yes we shoudl not lose our tempers but it happens.What we do about it is what counts.That we strive not to do it and apologise when we do wrong.
You are a lovely person
God bless you


#4

Thanks! I have already sent her an apology and explained I did not mean what I said.

I have not heard from her,

Teitjen-Yes I will think next time before I start typing!!!

TB-Thanks so much :)


#5

Well done snowpea ! and God bless you


#6

snowpea,

I would be patient in waiting for that reply, too. perhaps your friend will need time to cool down herself before she is ready to forgive. But kudos to you for having the courage to ask forgiveness.

I will pray for you both.


#7

I wouldn't just leave it alone. Express your regret, apologize, and pray about it. Don't only hope for forgiveness, but ask for it. Make it up to your friend. Show them you mean it.


#8

Good job in sending the apology - we all do things we regret.


#9

Athough it’s too late to help you now if you’re using Microsoft Outlook you can set your e-mail up so that there is a dealy between the time you send the e-mail. and the time it goes out. I have a 1 min. delay set on mine and it has saved me many times,

Now if I could just get a 1 min. delay on my CAF posts……


#10

thank you all! this has been very very helpful!

I sent a heartfelt apology as I said and then another one a few days later, I don’t want to inundate her-I will give it time.

It isn’t easy realizing you have been a jerk :frowning:

There are some aspects of the friendship I am not happy with tho-I am afraid that came out hurtfully in my original email. If she ever writes me again I am thinking I would have to address them
thank You all!


#11

[quote="estesbob, post:9, topic:227910"]
Athough it's too late to help you now if you're using Microsoft Outlook you can set your e-mail up so that there is a dealy between the time you send the e-mail. and the time it goes out. I have a 1 min. delay set on mine and it has saved me many times,

Now if I could just get a 1 min. delay on my CAF posts……

[/quote]

Another good way to stop yourself from sending that message is not to fill in the email address until you have had a chance to stop, save the message, walk away from the computer, calm down, and read it again. You can't accidentally send a message if it doesn't have an address in the address line.


#12

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