Embarrassing moments


#1

I was reminded of an embarrassing moment the other day:

During a holiday visit, I asked Catholic extended family members how NFP was going in response to a comment that they were waiting to have children. Afterall, in a practicing Catholic family, how else does one avert conception in a young marriage?

I was completely embarrassed when they told me that they were not practicing NFP… So we were led to believe that they used other methods… My husband had known already, and thought that I would have known from what he had told me without mentioning it explicitly, so he thought I had baited them! In reality, I was just naive.

How embarrassing. Any others like to share?


#2

Why the embarrassment? You had ever expectation that this fellow Catholic family is operating from the same reference point. I would suggest that you are the “normal” one here, which any embarrassment should emulate from the other end. It is truly a sad state when a fellow Catholic must first test the waters before alluding/assuming normalcy in Catholic living. My :twocents:.


#3

I guess what caused the embarrassment in the situation was that it came out like I was rubbing it in that we are ‘holier than thou’. It was in front of the rest of the extended family, so everyone knows about it. I understand the reasons of the family in question for waiting for children, and we were engaged but not married yet, but had already discussed the issue and decided there was no reason to postpone starting our family after we were married.

I don’t think there were any real hard feelings, and we don’t often see the family members in question, since we live far apart and have busy and often conflicting schedules at holidays. The big thing for me is my naivete.


#4

[quote=captaincatholic] The big thing for me is my naivete.
[/quote]

I personally would welcome and consider this “naivete” refreshing if I found myself in a similiar situation and would be enjoying the good snicker I was having on the inside. :smiley:


#5

Yet another example of why discussions about the most intimate marital details are best left off the family reunion, cocktail hour, dinner party, backyard BBQ, etc. topic list. Your family members’ practice of using or not using NFP, trying to get pregnant, avoiding pregnancy, struggling with infertility, using ABC and the like is, quite frankly, none of your business. If they offered it up to public discourse, shame on them. If they were responding to prodding by you about their family planning, then shame on you. If, and only if, someone discreetly and expressly seeks out your opinion should you be discussing this intimate matter with someone other than your spouse.


#6

[quote=felra]I personally would welcome and consider this “naivete” refreshing if I found myself in a similiar situation and would be enjoying the good snicker I was having on the inside. :smiley:
[/quote]

I guess that’s just it… I was devastated, so I didn’t find it funny. I am still afraid of what I have done, and the impressions I have made. I am afraid of being seen as “snickering” on the inside, and being uncharitable.

Now, I am getting a bit embarrassed and alone here for being the only one to post a little ‘confession’. Please, someone, tell me I’m not alone!

I go through loooooooots of embarrassing moments every day, so it may be just me,but hopefully I am not alone here.


#7

[quote=Island Oak]Yet another example of why discussions about the most intimate marital details is best left off the family reunion, cocktail hour, dinner party, backyard BBQ, etc. topic list. Your family members’ practice of using or not using NFP, trying to get pregnant, avoiding pregnancy, struggling with infertility, using ABC and the like is, quite frankly, none of your business. If they offered it up to public discourse, shame on them. If they were responding to prodding by you about their family planning, then shame on you. If, and only if, someone discreetly and expressly seeks out your opinion should you be discussing this intimate matter with someone other than your spouse.
[/quote]

It is ironic that the only time that I have encountered fellow Catholic couples publically proclaiming their choice of family planning was when it involved deviance from Church teaching–as if assuming everyone else “does it”. I must say Island Oak, easy on the “shame on you” [font=Comic Sans MS][size=2]to this honest poster. :tsktsk: [/size][/font]


#8

[quote=felra]It is ironic that the only time that I have encountered fellow Catholic couples publically proclaiming their choice of family planning was when it involved deviance from Church teaching–as if assuming everyone else “does it”. I must say Island Oak, easy on the “shame on you” [font=Comic Sans MS][size=2]to this honest poster.[/size] :tsktsk: [/font]
[/quote]

Please note, my “shames” went both in directions–to the proclaimers and the prodders–with nothing personal directed at the OP. It is the topic, with one caveat noted, that I found inappropriate for casual conversation.


#9

[quote=Island Oak]Yet another example of why discussions about the most intimate marital details are best left off the family reunion, cocktail hour, dinner party, backyard BBQ, etc. topic list. Your family members’ practice of using or not using NFP, trying to get pregnant, avoiding pregnancy, struggling with infertility, using ABC and the like is, quite frankly, none of your business. If they offered it up to public discourse, shame on them. If they were responding to prodding by you about their family planning, then shame on you. If, and only if, someone discreetly and expressly seeks out your opinion should you be discussing this intimate matter with someone other than your spouse.
[/quote]

Alright. Frankly, I feel that I have been unjustly judged in this, so let’s put this post on the right track. I remember being embarrassed this past weekend with my family. I was visiting, we were having a great conversation, and when I opened my mouth to respond to a question, my comment was preceded by a burp–!!!:bigyikes:


#10

Oh, thank goodness, that is SO much easier to deal with. Pregnant folks are forgiven all sorts of bodily faux pas and offenses the rest of us could never get away with. (See wasn’t that easier?!) :stuck_out_tongue:


#11

[quote=Island Oak]Yet another example of why discussions about the most intimate marital details are best left off the family reunion, cocktail hour, dinner party, backyard BBQ, etc. topic list. Your family members’ practice of using or not using NFP, trying to get pregnant, avoiding pregnancy, struggling with infertility, using ABC and the like is, quite frankly, none of your business.
[/quote]

Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who thought this.


#12

I have a gastrointenstinal condition, a nuisance more than anything else. For my 16th birthday, I took about 5 friends out boating.
Bathrooms aren’t readily available on a lake, so when we got back to the house, I really had to go. Knowing there would be an odor and some bathroom noises, I ran up to my parents’ bathroom to take care of business.
The door didn’t quite latch because Mom had this exercise thing hooked up to it, and I didn’t worry because no one came in that room anyway.
Much to my dismay, my 3 year old brother (very articulate and outgoing) decided to give my (male) friend a tour of the house. I listen to him going around the bedroom, pointing out every detail, until "… and here’s the bathroom."
I hollered before they opened the door, but I was pretty mortified anyway.


#13

[quote=Benedictus]Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who thought this.
[/quote]

Same here… one should never assume…


#14

[quote=vluvski]I have a gastrointenstinal condition, a nuisance more than anything else. For my 16th birthday, I took about 5 friends out boating.
Bathrooms aren’t readily available on a lake, so when we got back to the house, I really had to go. Knowing there would be an odor and some bathroom noises, I ran up to my parents’ bathroom to take care of business.
The door didn’t quite latch because Mom had this exercise thing hooked up to it, and I didn’t worry because no one came in that room anyway.
Much to my dismay, my 3 year old brother (very articulate and outgoing) decided to give my (male) friend a tour of the house. I listen to him going around the bedroom, pointing out every detail, until "… and here’s the bathroom."
I hollered before they opened the door, but I was pretty mortified anyway.
[/quote]

OH NO!:o


#15

OK, I guess I’ll share.

This was probably my most embarrassing moment ever!

I was at work at a new job. I had only been there a week or so. My boss asked me to get something from the lower filing cabinet. When I squatted down my pants SPLIT!!!. It made an audible “poof” noise!!! LOL. I can laugh now, but I was completely mortified then.

Luckily my boss was a woman (made the situation a tiny bit more bearable, no pun intended:D ).

And lucky for me the company had these labcoat type things that the guys on the floor would wear so I had to wear one of those the rest of the day.

There, are you happy now??? LOL.

malia


#16

Oh, I have another one. This one is not funny, just embarrasing.:o

Planning my wedding was left up to just me and mom. We had to re-plan everything in less than a month when we found out that hubby was going to Kosovo.

So in the chaos of having to find another hall, another DJ, another caterer,get the invitations out, beg the church to squeeze us in their already full summer wedding schedule, find and choose a wedding cake, pick the decorations…etc… I was absolutely beat by the time the big day arrived.

But all was going well. Until it came time to say our vows. I just assumed it would be a “repeat after me” type of thing (I watch too much tv). But as hubby and the priest stared at me I realized that I was supposed to memorize them!!!

It was awful. The priest realized that I had no clue what to say so he quietly whispered them and helped me long. But I could see the disapproval in his eyes and it just made me feel soooo small. It didn’t help that I wasn’t catholic at the time either.

Malia


#17

My wedding story is actually about my wife. She was so nervous that when we were exchanging rings she tried to put it on my right hand. I tried to sublty switch hands. A bunch of people noticed and we chuckled over it afterwords.

As for the story about memorizing the wedding vows, that is pretty unusual way to do it. The deacon who led our ceremony did the repeat after me style. I recall he even said he does that because it is such a big day, the couple is usually too nervous to remember the vows without prompting.


#18

[quote=captaincatholic]Alright. Frankly, I feel that I have been unjustly judged in this, so let’s put this post on the right track. I remember being embarrassed this past weekend with my family. I was visiting, we were having a great conversation, and when I opened my mouth to respond to a question, my comment was preceded by a burp–!!!:bigyikes:
[/quote]

I’m guessing you are fairly young? 20-30 maybe? Believe me, as you get older (and wiser) you realize it is best to keep quiet and only impart your “wisdom” when it is asked for.

No offense meant, but this is an anonymous message board so I don’t have to follow my own advice.

If it is an intimate topic, tread with caution.


#19

[quote=Feanaro’s Wife]But all was going well. Until it came time to say our vows. I just assumed it would be a “repeat after me” type of thing (I watch too much tv). But as hubby and the priest stared at me I realized that I was supposed to memorize them!!!

It was awful. The priest realized that I had no clue what to say so he quietly whispered them and helped me long. But I could see the disapproval in his eyes and it just made me feel soooo small. It didn’t help that I wasn’t catholic at the time either.

Malia
[/quote]

Malia,

that was awful - I didn’t have to memorize my vows - it was a “repeat after me” thing and the two weddings I went to this summer were the same. Mine and one of the ones this summer were Catholic, the other one was basically a civil ceremony!

As a matter of fact I remember our lovely Priest telling us not to worry, we wouldn’t have to memorize the vows as most brides and more grooms tend to get nervous and totally forget them so he didn’t ask his couples to memorize them.

Embarassing moments? I have had plenty in my life but don’t remember any right now!

OP, don’t worry about your asking about how the NFP was going - it is a faux pas I would have made and I am 47!!

Brenda V.


#20

Here’s one of my greatest moments of shame:

Just after I started college I became a Police Reserve Officer in the local town. This included a police uniform. One night I was en route to my first ride-along, and en route to the station had to change my route due to construction. As such, I was somewhat lost and trying to figure out how to get to the station in a city with which I was still unfamiliar.

In my distraction, I turned left on a green light…in front of an oncoming car. My car, the rt front crunched, was facing in the unwittingly correct direction, but facing oncoming traffic due to the impact of the other vehicle.

So there I was, in my uniform, getting out of my wrecked car and asking the people whose car I wrecked also if they were OK. This was before the wide usage of cell phones, so I, in my uniform, crossed the street to call the police.

The man came to the door after his children had made much of the fact that an apparent Police Officer was at his door. He grinned broadly, seeing the accident across the street, and more broadly still when I revealed I was not a witness, but involved. He called 911 for me in his foyer and then joked with the disptacher. When he hung up, he asked what happened and I told him.

He asked me, “Was it your fault?” I hung my head and admitted that it was. He just chuckled and I thanked him and went back across the street where the officer was already taking down the info for the other party.

(as an aside…the man at whose home I had been I later learned was pretty much the biggest defense attorney in town).

So I went to my judgment, in my uniform. I was beating myself up, remembering the speech from the Sergeant “When you are in uniform you behave professionally…” etc. Nope. Couldn’t describe causing an accident as “professional behavior”.

The officer asked me to sit in the squad and when I went to sit in the rear he directed me to the front passenger side. He obtained my information there and as I looked at my car, which we were facing, I asked him if he could recommend a repair shop. Then I asked if he could give me a ride to the station. (I had no desire to return to my dorm only to mope around).

He said dryly, "Sure, I guess you’d need one. " Pause…

. “Actually, you were assigned to ride with me tonight.”

I thought I woudl die, and then he said, “But the worst part about it is that I have to give you a ticket!”

I am still remembered in that town as the only Reserve to total her car on the way to a ride along. :o


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