I have an embarrassing question and I’m sorry if anyone is reviled by this.
I have had a sort of diaper fetish since I was about 6 years old. I always felt a sort of odd comfort in them.
I had no idea these feelings were wrong until I was about 11 years old when I read a book on hell. It terrified me and I entered a nine year period of deep scrupulosity where anytime I thought about diapers I would immediately picture the color black and try as hard as I could to get it out of my mind. The thoughts circled in my mind, but I got good at short-circuting them.
I’m 19 now and haven’t engaged in that comfort of mine since I was 10. I have felt these incredibly strong urges for years that I have fought tooth and nail. I refused to let myself think about them, but just today finally acknowledging them to myself and looking online that other Christians have dealt with this is like the weight of the world off of my shoulders.
Some of them find engaging in it, with a focus on God, is not a sinful thing. Of course, however, I don’t want to accure teachers who tickle my ears without truth.
I have struggled with this a long time. Is it sinful for me to wear diapers and engage in something that has felt so natural with no pornographic or other illicit associated activities?