Let me put it to you in plain English. The first step towards a divorce is developing an emotional attraction. I am not talking about an occasional head turner “wow”. I am talking about when you started dwelling on it; probably about the second day there was a twinge.
How many days (weeks? months?) ago was that? Honestly?
The second step was when you honestly admitted to yourself that this was something special (or juicy, or hot, or whatever you want to put in here). That was when you had more than just a feeling, and started to dwell on it, away from the office.
How long ago was that?
[quote=Scout] I try to avoid him as much as possible, but there are some situations that I just can’t avoid because of my work with the Church. My obligations there take presidence over my emotions. However, I do try to pray and focus my attention to the task at hand, rather than on him and my feelings.
OK, now lets get really honest here. You like this. Of course you do; he is attractive. You could be around him 24 hours a day. Whcih means, you have thought a lot about this. That is step three down the road to divorce.
How many steps do you have left? Frankly, I really don’t want to know; but you need to know, because it is the path you are walking on.
Let’s get real, for a minute. There are no obligations to the church such that you have to stay in this position. You are choosing to stay. Whoever he is, one of the two of you either has to have an iron will, or you are on a short road to disaster. Get another job, if you really value your marriage. Quit singing the song of no other choices; you most certainly do have other choices. Right now, you are choosing to stay in a situation that is majorly tempting, that is emotionally satisfying in its own cramped way, and you use the excuse that you have obligations. Your first obligation is to your husband; your second obligation is to this guy (an obligation to not tempt him into adultery); your third obligation is to his spouse, if he has one, and if you have kids, the second obligation is to them, rather than this hotty you have (he then comes in third).
Get a clue. You like being there. You don’t want to change. He’s a hotty. You like this warm, emotional feeling you get being around him. You want to resolve the problem? Get a different job and get out of this temptation. The only thing that is keeping you in this situation is your own choice to continue. I’ll guarantee that church won’t fall apart at the seams if you leave. Your “obligations” are being used as an excuse to feed your emotions.
And after you leave, you might want to get some counseling marital type, as you are in need of getting your head on straight. It isn’t on stright now.