Employment Vs Family Challanges


Just a little background on the reason for my question

I use to be the type to work late (without pay) but that interfered with family time.

I switched jobs but the new job was great but the coworkers didn’t have the same work valves as me and they did my evaluation to get on full time and I finally said forget it.

I went back to my old employer in a different position and promised my self that I would keep God first then family then work.

I have been doing that but the work load can't be met with out staying late, I let my employer know this once and they believed in time it will happen

I stayed late only to make up time that I took off for doctor or lawyer appointments

Then I gave them a suggestion on how might meet deadlines in the accounts receivable area. They didn’t think it would work.

Then the busy budget season came along and I’m responsible for reviewing the budgets for accuracy and also my regular job, I didn’t get my regular job done.

I brought to there attention after I was told a couple times that we in conflict of our contract that its not possible to get the statements done with out working after hours and that I liked being able to go home at 4:30 and not working on weekends.

There response was that I’m entitled to go home at 4:30, and that the deadline was met before (they are blind to the fact that to get it done the individual worked late and on weekends) not to mention there was less buildings.

I have been looking for a new job, and shortly after my talk with my supervisor there was a posting for my exact position on career builder.

So either it’s a replacement or its help

End of December is coming and I only have two and a half days to get my stuff done and without working late I don’t think it can be done

My question is

Am I being a bad employee/person/christen by not working late, or is it just my old self making myself feel guilty about not working late?


I could be mistaken, but if you are working without getting paid, then your employer is in violation of the law.

The water is muddied if you are a salaried employee as opposed to an hourly employee. As an hourly, you should be clocked in whenever you are doing work for the company and being compensated for it.

If you are salaried, then it’s “understood” that your time–all of it–belongs to your employer (maybe not legally, but the thinking is, you get paid the same amount whether you work 20, 40 or 60 hours and it all evens out in the end–which it rarely does–so…)

If you are an hourly employee and are working “off the clock” without compensation, not only are you cheating yourself (and your family–of your time and the money you should be earning) but you are setting your employer up for trouble should it be discovered that they are getting your time without paying you.

Furthermore, you are perpetuating the myth that your bosses obviously believe that the work can get done in a certain amount of time by one person working regular hours. Are they aware of your previous unpaid overtime? I rather doubt it, since they know they could get into trouble over it. So not only have you been unfair to yourself and your family, you’ve also laid a heavy burden on the next person who takes the job, because they’re going to be held to standard that is impossible to meet (“well, the last guy who did the job got in done in eight hours, and we don’t see why it’s taking your twelve…”)

As for the co-workers at your previous job not having the same work values as you do, join the club. Unless you’re having to pick up their slack (in which case you need to make a statement about that your supervisor and give examples), don’t worry about what other people’s work ethic is. Be an example and take care of your own.

This is the voice of experience speaking. Trust me, my husband and I have been in the same place you are. Your job is not worth the hours you are losing with your family and God. You’ll never get them back.


That's kind of the situation my fiance is going through... after 2 years of being unemployed he finally has a job, a job where he is a manager...a manager of several employees whom don't listen to him...He has to go after each and every single one of them picking up where he left off... A couple of times he was forced to stay later without getting paid...I told him he couldn't do that ever again! I told him I would file a complaint in his name if he did it again! I don't think it's fair for anyone to work without getting the correct compensations! We are not in the 1800's when people were over worked for a penny! there are laws and they must be followed! When he spoke with his supervisor about the situation she told him "you can't tell them what to do, do the jobs they don't do be a manager that's what you're here for, and you can't stay over time! It's not allowed!" He told her the job wasn't getting done if he wasn't getting paid...She told him off...

Several weeks later a bigger manager complained about the jobs not being done, my fiance's manager went up to the other manager and told her "why didn't you tell him he's their manager!" Then the bigger manager said to her, you are responsible for your employees!" She then looked at my fiance and threatened to fire him, including wrote him up for it, if he didn't tell the employees what to do! He reminded her that she demanded him not to tell them anything and to go do the work after them but not staying over time...She said "well I changed my mind!" Before then they over worked him for 3 straight weeks without a single day off, when he wanted a day off they told him that he was the manager and he didn't get any...I brought up the illinois state law a rest in seven day act, they finally gave him a day off! Especially since they don't want to pay the extra hours...Doesn't make sense at all! They still push him and don't give him his 7th day off, we're still working on that!

No matter where you go you have to make a decision...Either you work with people whom don't like to work where they will quit and leave you doing all the work yourself working over time or not, or you go to work where you are demanded too much work without the correct amount of pay...

A friend of mine worked with me, she used to sit behind me, everything was in balance...We used to take hour lunches it was great! It was nice having her around...Well she wasn't happy because there wasn't a lot of work to do for the both of us and most of the time we would be surfing the web or filing or something that really wasn't our jobs to do..I didn't complain, gave me a couple of hours without stressing over work...She wasn't satisfied...She decided to leave the job after 6 months to a higher position...Well she made a huge mistake for wanting more, she got just that, a lot more of everything...mistreated, shortened break times, no smoking time for her, she wasn't even allowed to put her things in her desk because that meant she was going to be late! It was devastating! She was over worked, over stressed and wished she would be allowed back in her old position...My boss as loving and as kind as she is, was not going to allow this she felt betrayed...Couldn't take her back... It's understandable...

Well that's the way things go...She ended up quitting 6 months after she started because she couldn't take it anymore...

I think you need to make a decision...Speak with your supervisors let them know that the reason the job got done before was because you were working all these unpaid hours, wether they want to believe you or not... Also thank them for their patience but that the job they are wanting will need a second person working...If you have to stay and work over time they need to pay you, unless you are a salaried employee...Then well you have to work the extra hours without saying anything pretty much, just explain to your family your job is kind of on the line at the moment...A small sacrifice for job security...Many families are doing it now-a-days...

Good luck, GOD bless!


In the job market today, thank GOD you have a job, work all they want you to and then some.


To a certain extent… but NOT off the clock.

That is why I said what I did about working with people with different work ethics… I, too, work with a bunch of slackers and, yes, I find myself doing things above and beyond my regular duties… but NOT off the clock.

It’s bad enough they’re getting their full pay while I do half their work, but NO WAY am I going to do it for nothing!


You know, back when I was growing up in the 1960s, many daddies worked long hours.

A few months ago, I attended the funeral of a beloved deacon (he was in his 80s when he died). He had 12 (twelve) children, and his wife did not work outside the home.

This man worked TWO full-time factory jobs to support this large family. And he was a deacon, so he had those responsibilities.

Yet, his children did not remember him as a “bad” father, or as an absentee father. It was because of his hard work that they had their needs met, and they were able to be a large family. At his wake, they honored their father as a good father, even though he was not at home a lot when they were growing up.

My dad worked in a factory on 3rd shift, then drove out to his parents’ farm to put in 8 more hours. When he WAS home, he was lots of fun and a good father. We didn’t blame him for being gone all the time. As we got older, we recognized that his hard work was providing well for us all, and giving us our college educations.

Almost all of my friends had fathers who worked long hours. It was the norm back then. And many times, when the father did come home, he put in hours doing home chores that were too heavy-duty for his wife (or that she couldn’t do because little ones were underfoot).

I’m not sure where modern-day daddies got the idea that they should not be expected to work hard and long. Yes, it’s wonderful when daddy can be home a lot and spend a lot of time with his children. I think that young men who are in high school and college might want to take a good look at career options that would allow them to spend more time at home. But for most men, a short work day is just not realistic. The primary responsibility of the father is to provide for his wife and children. If that means working long, hard hours, so be it. An awful lot of us grew up very nicely without Daddy coming home early and spending lots of time with us. Our parents didn’t get divorced, and fathers didn’t “lose their families” because they worked hard and long.


[quote="Cat, post:6, topic:181089"]
The primary responsibility of the father is to provide for his wife and children. If that means working long, hard hours, so be it. An awful lot of us grew up very nicely without Daddy coming home early and spending lots of time with us. Our parents didn't get divorced, and fathers didn't "lose their families" because they worked hard and long.


Agreed.... but I assume that your father got paid from both his jobs (working on his parents' farm is something completely different.) The OP stated, right off the bat, that he was working overtime WITHOUT PAY.

There is no benefit in that to his family, plus they are going without having him at home. This is the crux of the matter... my husband also works extra jobs and comes home late, but he never stays to work off the clock. He's got enough to do at home and if he's not getting paid for his overtime or side jobs... well, there's plumbing and rewiring and wood-cutting and a million other fix-it jobs he can be doing at home. Same here. I homeschool and unless my employer is willing to pay for any extra hours I put in, I'm not taking that time away from my son.


Month-end, Year-end… dead lines are part of the job if you do any type of accounting. I limit myself to 45 min a day overtime and always know what I am going to be working on next so that I have no down time at all. I am fortunate to have a very generous employer and those of us in my department all know what to do and have everything down to a streamline process. Unfortunately once you let your employer start to take advantage of your time it becomes the norm and it is expected of you. I will be praying for you that things will steady out.


thank you for all your comments, they were all helpfull

God Bless


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