I am posting this because I am looking for supportive feedback from other Catholics - not something I have very much of in my life.
Last year, my boyfriend and I met online. We were both just about to turn 30, and both felt ready for marriage. We met in person within a few weeks, and continued to meet up as much as we could. However, it became clear in the beginning that we both have a lot of “stuff” - baggage, or history, or old patterns, however you want to look at it. We are both currently in therapy.
Part of his pattern is that he breaks up with me when he’s overwhelmed. I had truly felt that because of the way we met (we were both saying a novena to St Joseph at the time, and joined a particular dating site within a few days of each other). We had some wonderful, wonderful times, moments that were so full of love despite how simple they were - such as running into the Pacific Ocean together - the kind of memories one carries throughout the rest of life.
However, our baggage clashed too often. I am almost done RN school and had just officially made plans to move to his city after graduation so we could give it a real shot. I had been patient with him as he sorted through his stuff. We are both very good people - both well educated (I’m nearing the end of my second degree, and he has two as well), we’ll both have fantastic careers, and we are both very honest with ourselves with our growth and health, whether it be mental, emotional, or physical.
But last night he broke up with me. He did it with so little emotion, it was almost like someone else broke up with me. We both do not want his pattern of breaking up with me to continue, and this time it seems that he really does not think we are meant to be together. This is hard for me because we both felt God put us together, and I am praying that God reveals to me that I should move on, that this man is not the one for me.
I’m heart broken because I do not want to date again… I know the process of breakups, that in time, it will hurt less, and life goes on and new memories make way, and I will in all likelihood meet someone else. But I am confused because what I am looking for from God - that this man is right, that we are not meant to be together, I am not feeling in my heart or mind. And I know this will be a big set back for me in terms of moving on. He was truly the best man I’ve ever met, and I hate letting him go.
The worst part is that we only had a couple more months to go before I could move. I had trusted all this time that if we didn’t work, it would be after we had given it a real go, with both of us being in the same city. He seems to have made up his mind, and I’m not sure whether he’s making it up without God, or God just isn’t making me privy to the plan.