I’ve got a really confusing/messed up situation that I need some advice on…
I moved to London from the USA nearly 5 months ago to be with my fiance. (We got engaged 3 months prior.) We share an apartment, but we behave ourselves and abstain from sex (and everything else) as we’re not yet married.
When we first got together, Dennis (the fiance) was great! He was very loving and I had no doubt of his feelings. But shortly after I relocated to London (away from friends, family and country) he grew distant from me spiritually. For the last couple of months, he says he feels that he’s being “called” to be a priest and needs to discern his vocation. The reason being, is because he doesn’t have the “giddy bubbly” feeling that he had at the beginning of the relationship. I’ve explained that the giddiness is the “honeymoon” phase and it will never last forever in any relationship.
He does not want me to move out/split up. He wants to be able to continue to court the Church (while still being a couple) and I’m “not allowed” to court other men in the meantime. We went to see a priest together who basically told Dennis he didn’t feel that the priesthood was right for him. The priest feels that Dennis gets too caught up in romantic notions. And his romantic notion of the priesthood will also fade once the “new” has worn off.
Dennis, who doesn’t like to be told what he doesn’t want to hear (although I suppose we’re all a bit guilty of that!!), now wants to consult another priest. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to make up his mind so he’s trying to get someone else to tell him what choice to make. Or that he wants to be able to say something like: “I spoke with a priest who thinks I should become a priest so therefore I’m breaking up with you… it’s not that I want to, but the Church says I have to.”
So things get stickier yet… Dennis has a long time female friend named “Lynn.” She lives overseas and they’ve only met in person once. She’s very conservative and Dennis often turns to her for religious advice. This wouldn’t bother me, except that 1.) He’s more spiritually intimate with her. I feel like he should be coming to me (the fiance) first if not a priest to discuss deep spiritual matters. And 2.) She has NO IDEA I exist!! :eek: They swap emails a couple times a week, although have been known to go a few months with no contact. Yet she has no idea that he’s engaged or that I live with him! He feels that it’s not being dishonest as she’s never actually asked: “Are you with anyone?” or something along those lines. He’s always known that I’ve felt that that kind of behavior is wrong. 3.) To make matters worse, I found all this out through a third party. Dennis never told me until I confronted him!! :mad:
Look, you all are a bunch of conservative Catholics. Any advice? Thoughts? Prayers? Because I could surely use them!!!