I hope I put this in the right forum…
I would like to know if I am doing the right thing, because all of the advice I have been getting online about chastity is just not what I was looking for. So I guess I should start from the beginning (wow I sound like every other woman lol)
Well my boyfriend and I have gotten to the point in our 2 1/2 years of our relationship that we are getting ready to make the leap to engagement. As part of the agreement I told him that we would have to be chaste. So to really start I should tell you about him, because all of these answers I would keep getting is leave him.
He is very kind and has a great family who love and respect me, as well as he does. When we get into an argument we will solve our differences within the next couple of hours and forget about it later. He was with other women before me and didn’t wait, but waited until I was ready. I waited longer than most of my friends have by five times (Im talking about months, they only waited about a month). Our relationship isn’t based on sex, but the friendship we both share with one another. I am his best friend and he is mine, and even if sometimes he has a hard time showing weakness, he couldn’t tell anyone else but me about it. We are completely open with one another, and no matter what a friend says about “don’t tell him I said this or that” I do so anyway because we could never keep a secret from one another. Our families completely agree with our relationship, and he has received my fathers blessing (which sadly isn’t common today). He has never in anyway disrespected my parents and would ask them for their permission on anything. The fact that we value our friendship and deep connection over our sex life basically explains the kind of relationship we have.
Now as for me I was a practicing Catholic when I was a teenager, but now at 21 I just grew away, however the itching conscience about chastity has still haunted me. I felt like I made the right decision by giving it to him (I was a virgin before). So I still believe that we have a great relationship that I could just never let go of. He himself said (and he is catholic just never practiced and was never taught about his faith) that if he knew about chastity in the first place, he would have saved it for me and would like to if he could.
I will marry him, but there are some circumstances that I had laid down for him. First off we would have to be chaste during our engagement. Secondly our engagement would be for a couple years or more until I know it is time for us to be married under God. I believe that by being chaste not just for months will really give us the opportunity to grow on our friendship even more, and really show that we care for one another, by getting another chance to wait for one another.
Other advice I have gotten has said you should leave him, because if he doesn’t wait for you then he doesn’t love you, but he really wishes he could have had the chance to wait for me. It was my fault for not being open about the chaste thing from the start, and he really would make the effort if given another chance, like I would.
Should two people who really care for one another and want to set things right because they screwed up really have to part?