I know I’ve mentioned this before but I still don’t know what to do. I feel a HUGE desire to TRY this way of life yet I’m not too sure if I want to make that step forward because what if I’m not called?
See, when I first started pursuing Catholicism, I saw nuns and all that on TV and thought, “ha, so what? They just pray and do that. No big deal to me” and continued to think what my career job would be and who I would marry. I had NO desire to try that way of life thank you very much. But then later, you know, I had this desire and ever since then, I’ve been WANTING to try this way of life! I’ve been even praying about it and I have such a HUGE DESIRE for it that I’ll be extremely disappointed if I find out I’m not called!
But then, I realize that I’ve not been confirmed with the Eucharist and all that and have heard that only the Eucharist is what people get that “call” to live the religious way…if that’s the case,*** why on earth do I feel drawn toward this way of life?*** There’s no spiritual director at the parish I attend (I don’t think but could double check on that) and DO NOT dare to even tell the RCIA people about it! How on earth can this be and I know that EVERYTHING is possible with God but what now?