I found your page using Google. I am struggling with something and need your help. I am making progress and feeling stronger. I developed this method of saying, “No power!” to these images, and it works very well, but I want to be completely free, and I believe it can be done. Without further adieu:
Please tell me how to completely resist the attraction of beautiful women and how to completely overcome the desire to lust after bikini models, etc.
Right now your method implies what appears to be a Mantra, or group of power words. It is not a bad start, however as a Christian you are missing out on some powerful help.
As a Christian we have Christ and our angels to assist us if we ask. We are also aware that some of these thoughts may be demonic temptations. Learning to free oneself of lust completely can be a life long endeavor.
The trick is not giving into the fantasy and/or not acting out on the fantasy more than never having a bad thought ever again. However, by turning to work and prayer you can definitely get a leg up on this. When a thought tries to get me to fantasize or act improperly, constant prayer accompanied by keeping busy works wonders in my experience (I once suffered from porn addiction that spanned a good chunk of my life).
You may find studying the monastic teachings (Like Saints Francis, Benedict, and Anthony of the desert) informative. You are already part way there in understanding that you cannot give into fanciful thinking by stating “no power”.
My :twocents: others will be able to share what they have learned.
There is grace and nature. By nature I don’t think most of us can ever completely overcome all our instincts. Remember, it was Saint Francis who used to throw himself into an icy lake. The focus would be then not to make things habitual or to dwell on things.
For that I would recommend a workbook called Clean of Heart by Rosemary Scott. You can find it on Amazon.
I really used to struggle with this - just one of the ill effects from my years away from the Church. What helped me tremendously in my battle against temptation was actually listening to Pure of Heart. I felt kind of embarrassed making the purchase and admitting to myself that I needed some help, but it was worth it (and if you’ve posted for help here then I think you’ve already made that leap). Jason Evert makes many good points, gives a lot of great advice, and gives a lot of insight to reflect upon. It can be incredibly difficult at first, but now I feel like so much more of a complete person than I had for many years. I could try to sum up all of his words, but it really wouldn’t be possible. I’ve provided a link in case you’re interested.
Well I will share what worked for me. I also struggle with lust and for the past 2 years there has been someone in my life who has been a huge temptation for me. I have a weak marriage that’s is pretty much in despair. I was having an emotional affair with another man and I never gave in physically but we never kept our feeling of lust towards each other a secret. Recently I have decided I want to fight for my marriage tooth and claw. I know this relationship with this man was keeping me from giving all of myself to heal my marriage and allow God to give us the beautiful happy marriage he wants to bless us with. The problem was the draw to this other man was so strong that I felt like a fraud praying to God, asking for God to help my marriage, because obviously God is all knowing I can’t keep my true feelings from God. So, I avoided praying about my situation with this man, as if to keep it separate a “secret” from God, foolish I know lol, but I am merely human cut me some slack lol. Anyways, like I said I got to the point where my marriage just kept suffering and I knew something had to give. Finally, I decided I would pray about my lust for this man and in order to not feel like a fraud before God I just decided I was going to “keep it real” with him so I prayed and said something along the lines of this “God I know my infidelity with this other man is keeping me from healing my marriage and focusing on you working in my marriage please help me get away from him and rid me of these feelings and desires…and I know you know …that I know …that I don’t even mean what I’m saying, because the truth is I don’t want to be rid of these feelings…I enjoy these feelings and I don’t really want you to take them away, but God you know what is best for me so I am praying to do your will even though I really don’t want you to” I prayed this everyday for months and finally this other man told me 2 weeks ago that he can longer see me, because he knows I will never leave my husband and it’s killing him. In the past he has said these kinds of things before, but if I reached out to him he would always be there. Except for this last time he finally really stopped taking my calls etc. It’s over and he won’t see me or talk to me and even though initially it hurt, I am fully aware God answered me. God made this happen, because I was too weak. So as you can see the power of prayer please don’t be afraid to come to God with all your craziness he knows what you need just ask and show God your heart even the messed up parts. God loves all of you and wants to help you through your weakness.
Every time you see a beautiful woman, you can pray for her and her husband or future husband. That will help you see her as a person, rather than an object of lust. And thank God for making beautiful creatures, realizing at the same time that if the creatures are so lovely, the creator must be even more deserving of our love and adoration.
God bless, and never give up.
I’m talking as someone still working and struggling through sexual sin. These are just my personal experiences, and what has worked for me. First and foremost, prayer. Whenever I see someone attractive, I simply pray thanking God for the beauty of the human body - we glorify God by proclaiming how great his creation is! This way, it “take the power” from lustful eyes - we have given that up to God’s glory. The next thing I can suggest is frequent reception of the Blessed Sacrament, as well as frequent confession with the same priest! Don’t priest hop! Our Lord has given us these sacraments for a good reason, to beat back sin. Next, take us the Rosary, and if you feel prepared, the Brown Scapular. Our Lady seeks to help us.
If you struggle with Inappropriate internet use, install a filter, or better yet, an accountability program.
I will certainly be praying for you!
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
You can still acknowledge the Beauty of Women, for they are truly a Gift from God, but don’t treat them like pieces of meat!
Here are some steps that can help you:
Step1-Make a confession if you have any sin currently holding you back for an intimate relationship with God.
Step2-Try and go to Mass as often as you can
Step3-Avoid anything that might lead you to sin.
Step4-read some articles on how to deal with this.
Step5-Pray for at least ten minutes a day
Step6- Pray the rosary and ask our Blessed Mother to assist you!
Step7-Don’t look back! The devil will try to remind you of your past, but remember the words of St. Teresa of Avila " when the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future!
I believe lust is one of the capital sins, so the temptation to lust is rather permanent.
Of course you know that the temptation to lust is not sin itself. As long as it is resisted there is no sin. I say this because the devil will try and turn it into sin to make you feel guilty and then give up. It is not a sin to have a temptation but it all depends on what we do with that temptation.
One way to help yourself is to …avoid… temptation wherever and whenever you can. Take some precautions. For example look at when and where most of them occur. Then do something to help you avoid the “when” and “where” you become tempted. In the checkout line where the smuddy magizines are, just keep you eyes down or up, anywhere but on the magizines. This is simply saving yourself a lot of temptations, for the memory stores images, and then without warning, these images are brought back when you are least prepared.
Of course this also holds true for the electronic media. Be careful what you watch, or don’t allow freedom in this area. This can save you a lot of temptation.
And as far as seeing women, again, don’t allow yourself to dwell on this, but quickly distract yourself. Look and think about something else.
I know that is world is just full of all kinds allurements of this sort. So see where they are occuring in your life and make some sort of preparation to avoid them. You will be doing yourself the biggest favor for they will not be coming back a second time to haunt you.
May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
Stop watching television. It is amazing what that alone will do for you. I stopped watching all but sports and mostly wholesome stuff and the temptations have been dramatically reduced. I ought to watch even less, frankly.
I recently read a story in the book Pope Francis: keys to his thought. Apparently then-Cardinal Bergoglio was hanging out with friends watching television and something risquee came on. He felt so uncomfortable about it that he resolved to not watch any more television, except for the occasional news program…
That’s it, you know? Don’t play games with the devil and your flesh. Just clear out of your life the stuff that keeps you far from God and don’t think twice about it. Be real, and ask God to help you be real, about your occasions of sin and your weaknesses. If you have to take a hammer to your computer screen, do it. I’m totally serious. If you are more attached to the fleeting temptations of the Internet or TV or whatever, you aren’t serving God. That’s why Christ asks the young man in the Gospel to go and sell all his possessions–but doesn’t necessarily ask that of us.The young man was too attached! So what is Jesus asking you to give up?
Women are beautiful. I see a beautiful girl, I look and smile at her…Even say hello. Bikini or no bikini.
There many artworks of the nude human body. Paintings to Sculpture. Male and female and they are admired. No Lust here.
Lust…I agree with this.
“Lust is considered by Catholicism to be a disordered desire for sexual pleasure, where sexual pleasure is “sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes”. In Catholicism, sexual desire in itself is good, and is considered part of God’s plan for humanity. However, when sexual desire is separated from God’s love, it becomes disordered and self-seeking. This is seen as lust.”
Lust and Love are like water and oil. They repel one another. If you want lust out of your life, you fill your life with love. More Mass, more prayer, more generosity, more thanksgiving, more corporal works. None of these things are academic: they are all actions that you are able to do, and the more you do them, the more grace that is going to fill your life. Organize your life on paper if you so wish and keep a checklist.
Every woman in the world is either your mother or your sister or your daughter. You might have a beautiful biological sister, and it is no crime to recognize beauty such as it is, but hopefully that doesn’t mean you lust after her. Instead of worrying specifically about lust, concern yourself with growing in holiness. If you seek to do God’s will, the eradication of sin is going to happen by itself.
Corinthians 12:7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It’s not so much about becoming stronger and making personal progress, as it is coming ever closer to God. Don’t sin, but remember the Goal.