[quote="HopeInChrist, post:8, topic:176855"]
Thanks for the thought-provoking answers. The thing that keeps nagging at me is what if this goes on and on and something happens to the person estranged or one of the other family members and the opportunity for reconciliation is lost forever? Would the regret of not being able to talk to them and tell them what's on our heart be worth the "peace" we now have? :shrug:
For one example, I haven't spoken to my father (very abusive relationship between he and my mom) in about 10 years. I have since gotten married and had a child. He's getting older and he may be sick and towards the end of his jouney here. I would love to talk to him, tell him what's happening in my life, but other family members tell me it's "not worth it". Who is right? :confused:
I think of it like this, if Pope JP2 could forgive the man who shot him, and visit him in prison...if Christ could forgive those who tortured Him...then, we should try to forgive those who have hurt us. That doesn't mean we have to become best friends with the person/people who hurt us, but maybe picking the phone up with your dad, just seeing how he is...it can't hurt. If he is rude to you, again, you know you tried. Forgiveness sets us free and it opens us up to more love in our life, if the other person/people wish to give it. I think that you can't rely on others to direct you with that, if they are telling you ''it's not worth it,'' you don't know how they approached it. You're different from them. I think that only you can decide what you're comfortable with, but I think when we look at the example of Christ, we learn that forgiveness is essential to being a follower of Him, and not speaking to people for what they did years ago, now THAT is not worth it. It probably takes a lot of energy out of you, to not speak to him, more than it might to speak with him, and open the lines of communication up again. Not saying you sweep under the carpet how he treated your mom.
I look at the situation I mentioned with my husband's brothers...the older brother's anger seeps into everything he does...he is not the happy-go-lucky guy he used to be, since harboring this resentment and ceasing of speaking to his brother. I think it takes a lot more energy to purposely not call someone, than it does to open up the lines of communication.
This is just my two cents. I hope things work out for you this Christmas season, blessings to you and your family. :hug1:*