I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve been struggling with fear of my eternal welfare. Ive been saying the divine mercy chaplet, and I still fear being turned away from Heaven. For some reason, I think I have an excessive fear of God. So much, that I can’t seem to enjoy life. I do go to confession regularly. But I honestly think my pastor is concerned that my confessions revolve around sins from the past that I keep digging up. He’s told me many times, the important thing is what I do now with the second chance God gave me. But the idea that one unconfessed mortal sin will send me to hell has me paralyzed. I keep digging and digging through my sins of the past making sure I’ve confessed all of them; and correctly. Completely ignoring the fact that I was absolved of all my sins at my first confession after coming back.
Its really affecting my life. I can’t really seem to enjoy life cause I’m fearful of my eternal welfare and fearful of God. Just that fear that there’s one sin on me and will cast me away forever. This isn’t healthy and really no way to live. I have no idea how to get to the bottom of this. I’m slightly nervous about meeting with my priest. But I know I should. Are there any other resources that would help? Retreat? Counselor?