Im a 19 year old male and I masturbate. I’ve been all over the web looking for answers and I haven’t really gotten any. I wish I could stop, but I cant help the urges. After I do it, I cant help but think I’m Sinning and going against God’s will. I’ve also had sex too and I realize that’s a Sin as well. I just want God to forgive me and I want Him to know how sorry I am. I don’t want to Sin but I can’t help but think everything I do is one. Any advice you guys have is helpful!
On a side note I’ve recently had thoughts of getting confirmed. I don’t know how to go about that and if someone could help that would be great!
I’m also new to the forums and still getting used to things!
A separate part of a Muslim household reserved for wives, concubines, and female servants.
A group of female animals sharing a single mate.
I believe the danger of those men who grow to love the prison of pornography and masturbation, is that it changes the way they see women, instead of loving the woman, they learn mostly to love the pleasure they can derive from the woman instead of the woman herself, this in turn reduces the woman to a mere object, something to be used in order to satisfy their* ‘needs’ *as it becomes.
That’s why Bishop Fulton J. Sheen once said -
The very freedom which the sinner supposedly exercises in his self indulgence, is only another proof that he is ruled by the tyrant. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
I also believe masturbation/pornography can also lead to other acts of sexual immorality as it is an addiction that never satisfies.
However I will leave it here for this side of things, as this is not what I want to focus, I have simply mentioned this because I believe it’s necessary to have an awareness of sin, to have a consciousness of it. As Bishop Fulton J. Sheen once said -
He who makes light of sin will make light of forgiveness, he who makes light of really serious wounds will never appreciate the power of the physician. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Life of Christ
He who has a consciousness of sin does not very much consider whether his sins belong in the five hundred pieces of silver category or the fifty, what troubles him is the fact that he has hurt someone that he loves, St Paul considered himself the ‘chief of sinners’ - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Life of Christ
Jesus to St. Faustina -
"…Know that My Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy, graces flow out upon the whole world. No soul that has approached Me has ever gone away unconsoled. All misery gets buried in the depths of My mercy, and every saving and sanctifying grace flows from this fountain…" (Diary, 1777).
"O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair… Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy…My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father" (Diary, 1486).
"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy" (Diary, 1485).
**“My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces.” **(Diary, 367).
"Oh, if sinners knew My mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy" (Diary, 1396).
"…who will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them Myself at the hour of death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of souls were as dark as night, when the sinner turns to My mercy, he gives Me the greatest praise and is the glory of My Passion. When a soul extols My goodness, Satan trembles before it and flees to the very bottom of hell" (Diary, 378).
"My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy. Proclaim that mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy" (Diary, 300-301).
I would like to encourage you WillToChange to go to confession if you get a chance to, it Is a beautiful sacrament, it’s not something to be feared. There is an abundance of graces for those who partake in the sacrament of reconciliation (confession). And when you do, please remember the following
Jesus to St Faustina -
**"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." **(Diary, 1603).
I recommend going to confession every week, or as often as you can, After awhile you will get so tired of confessing the same sin that you will really want to stop.
And keep in mind, we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, All the saints and angels in heaven are able to see you and me, even in the dark. That’s one thing that helped me give up some sins. I really didn’t want to continue in front of all those people, who are just as alive as we are.
Would you commit this sin if you knew Our Lady was watching? Probably not.
God’s knows how sorry you are; everything good, including contrition and the desire to love God, is a grace from Him. Place your complete trust Him, meditate on the horror of sin, be careful to remove occasions of sins, ask for Our Lady’s help, avoid over-indulgence or sloth, go to Confession, persevere in prayer and don’t forget that victory comes from God alone. He loves us so much; it breaks His Heart when we commit sin. We must have great confidence, then, in His grace and love; otherwise our faith will become tedious and we will lack the strength and joy to persevere.
In the Old Testament, the people used to sacrifice animals, in order to show God how sorry they were for their sins. God told them in the scriptures and Christ repeated it to the teaches of the Law of Moses and the Pharisees -
"Instead of offering sacrifices to Me, I want you to be merciful to others." (CEV Translation)
**“I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” **(NRSV CE Translation)
This is how we make reparations to God for our sins.
(On a side note, I would also like to recommend wearing a scapular if you are not already, Mary offers protection against temptations among many other things through it, I have the crusaders brown scapular from here - freebrownscapular.com/order_page.html)
I would also like to share a bit from a brilliant post by littlestsouls2 on another thread.
And to conclude this post, I would also like to share with you some motivational tips that you can also use (however without God I believe they will be fruitless, but with God and especially the advise above, I believe they will assist you)
Motivational Tips to Help You Quit -
Keep the following 3 Ds in mind when you have a craving
Delay: remember that the worst cravings last for only a few minutes and will become even less frequent the longer you have quit.
Deep breath: this should help you relax and focus your mind on Jesus or Mary.
Do something else: Prayer, flee into the Virgin Mary’s arms by reciting ‘Hail Mary’s.’
1) A slip up doesn’t mean you’ve failed. What’s important is to work out how you can stop a slip up from happening next time.
2) Don’t say “this is my last time” say “I’m not going to give in today” and take one day at a time.
3) Each craving only lasts a few minutes. Say to yourself* “Don’t let this be the day that I blow it.”*
4) Once you have quit for a while, the desires to give in will be much less intense and frequent.
5) It’s important that it’s your decision to quit. That you want to quit and that you feel confident you can succeed.
6) Be clear about your reason to quit. It will motivate you to keep going.
7) The most dangerous thought you can have is. I will just give in this one time.
8) Remember the sooner you quit. The sooner you will reap the benefits.
9) The more times you try to quit. The better you will get at it until you quit for good.
10) Get rid of any provocative images etc anything that tempts you or reminds you of giving in (Otherwise It’s like those who say “I’m going on a diet” yet fill their cupboard with junk food) I believe you can’t rely on will power (as it comes and goes). I believe the best thing to do is to set your environment up so that it pulls for your success. Thus when you turn to God, there are fewer obstacles in order for Him to reach you.
11) Avoid challenging occasions.
12) If you are feeling tense doing some exercise will help.
13) The most common quitting method for most people is to stop suddenly Go cold turkey.
14) When you quit you might feel some different withdrawal symptoms This is because your body is re-adjusting to being without, don’t worry, it will pass.
15) And most importantly, Never give up giving up.
In regards to tip 10) there is a great piece of software called ‘K9 Web Protection’ which you can install on your computer. It’s completely free. www1.k9webprotection.com/