Evil father, how do I honor him?

He won’t permit me to honor him. It’s a mind-bender he enjoys subjecting me to in his current course of painstaking blasphemy. He was a Catholic in his youth, went to college on scholarship in England, became a PhD in science and gave up his faith for a progressive course of atheism in which he instructed us under the pretext of “letting us choose what to believe” (he took us to a somewhat casual, interdenominational church and stood up in question and answer time and argued with the minister, who ultimately left the church and became an astronomer.)

He has written a book outlining his argument against all religion and for a lifestyle and belief system based on pursuing a life in science. He has had several hundred copies printed up and has distributed them to friends and family, friends including some prominent figures in the electronic engineering industry where he did his life’s work. He is trying to get it published by university presses in England. It brings our lifetime battle to a head. There are some sexual abuse issues. Right now I am forced to live with him for lack of money. I divorce my ex husband 6 years ago because my family’s negativity made our marriage unworkable, he is Canadian just as they are British and he believed them about my life and counted me a liar. I loved him right away and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt him but my parents set us up for a fall. I was determined not to let the relationship repeat my past mistakes but it was even worse, I had not idea what was happened, and then it was over. He’s in Florida and I’m here in PA trying to pick up the pieces.

The point is, my parents do not WANT me to succeed. in Church on Sunday I overheard talk about them wanting to put me in a Mental Instution, and there I draw the line. I am getting baptized in the next few weeks and that puts everything in a new light.

I just want to know how to handle my father, and my mother who doesn’t support me because she gets spoiled by him for mistreating me. My counselor has given me a book on surviving sexual abuse but it is hard when I am living under their roof. I have an application in for housing and the nun who is counseling me says just keep hoping it will come through.

So how do you honor parents who don’t respect you and would rather put your light under a bushel? There is another matter here of a sexual injury, when I was a young girl , which was worsened by damage in the ICU when I took an overdose when I was 24 years old. So there is some reason to their madness in how they handle me. I require extreme special treatment. But I have always stepped up to the bat and performed exceptionally within those constraints, for instance attending an Ivy League University and getting married and having a kid despite my disability. They don’t consider that a success, they say it was work for them, they didn’t take care of me they just took over my son’s care and left me out, which I didn’t appreciate.

So what gives here? Specifically, I am concerned about praying the Rosary a certain way that reflects my past relationship with them that I am hoping the Lord will change.

Cloud surfer, you have posted theses issues here several times. sorry to say we are just not equipped to address these issues. Stick with your conculer and the Sister who is working with you. Stay on the path. Ask about emergency housing.


Everything is new. The Lord showed me a new life through upcoming Baptism. I am very happy. I am fighting the Devil, I have this problem that whenever anything GOOD happens to me I face attacks by the EVIL ONE. This time I have it, I came here for support of the truth because I get lost to the negativity sometimes.

You can honor them by praying for them. But also consider what @MaryEstelle2 said. God Bless and you will be in my prayers.

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Thank you that is the answer I needed to hear. People keep saying “they won’t change.” and that makes me feel hopeless.

You come to a certain age where you are told you are toxic, then you set yourself apart from the rest of your family and see that it might be a toxic family. I have to admit, I respect that you address what you are describing in 200 words what can be described as “toxic family.”

First, as an adult, I respect other adults that are not specific about mixing their relative that sexually exploited them’s professional career. Adults really don’t do that. Two wrongs don’t make a right. So, if you want to show honor for your parents, leave that part out. His occupation may be “mr. Anti-God” but he’s worked at it for decades and we already know it’s not our job to judge him when he dies. As an adult, say that you’ve made the decision to spend decades as a woman in The Legion of Mary and gather the prayers as an auxiliary member.

How do you want to serve god? In what capacity? Pray daily? Pray a Hail Mary daily? A rosary (over 50 Hail Marys a day)? What do YOU plan to do for a prayer regimen? Look to yourself in the mirror, the heart beating in your chest is your own. It beats for god right, to what capacity? Tell me what you want to be in this faith prayer wise. I literally want to know and I want to keep this going. Let’s start there.

I pray the rosary every day, I usually pray the St. Michael Archangel prayer against Satan a dozen times on a given day; I pray Hail Holy Queen about 20 times a day; the Anima Christi about 5 or ten times a day; I have given over a lot of praying to the Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner; and the miraculous Mary prayer O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee. I pray the Memorare to St Joseph a whole lot also, it’s one of my favorite prayers as bounty is what I lack, I starve for comforts and consolation. Just on Sunday I fnished my SECOND Novena to St Jude back to back, I realized how much I was coming here and I thought, why don’t I just do it myself, I know what the true needs are; and it has brought tremendous results. I see everything in a sharp focus and the most important thing is my upcoming baptism and not to l et anyone get in the way of it, which my father momentarily was. In the last month or so I have worked out a lifetime of damage here and I am grateful and thankful for this site, Bless you. Amen.

I went through a phase a few years ago where I was got called toxic and it really hurt, I am getting along much better with people lately. Amen.

Thats amazing! Ok, so you have a prayer regimen, that’s great! So, now, do you have any plans to join a Confraternity or maybe enroll in the scapular? Do you want to join the Legion of Mary?

If you are going through sexual issues, you have to determine how that effected you. If you prefer chastity as a result, there are great prayers from the Angelic Warfare Confraternity prescribed by Saint Thomas Aquinas. He will be there for you if you feel the need to refrain from that kind of activity in your life.

Have you chosen a confirmation name? How far are you in RCIA? Here’s a free course on testing what you know. It’s something to study to take your mind off things for a bit… but I’d like to keep this going, you seem incredibly unique and I respect that.


There is such a thing as loving from a distance. As an adult you can honour a parent from a distance by praying for them, maintaining a cordial and respectful relationship via telephone, email, text, Skype etc. without having to be physically in close proximity to the parent you say is abusive.

Prayer may or may not change a parent but it will change you if you allow it to. The Lord can heal you of past hurts and abuse if you cooperate with Him and allow Him to. Spending time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is wonderful for this healing to take place.

Get your accommodation sorted out. Set boundaries. Work on your relationship with the Lord. Work on your healing. But expect attacks from the evil one as you set about all the above. Trust in the Lord. He will not fail you nor abandon you.

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Yes I am chaste but I do not feel the need to join an order, it is a set apartness that I enjoy after suffering a lot of abuse and abusing myself. As I said it is because of an injury so Im not sure that an order would fit my profile. Maybe I should look into it though, I will check out Saint Thomas Aquinas, thank you. i am getting baptized in the next month or so, I am very excited about it, and yes I have chosen a baptismal name. I am a very private person, I take to things slowly so I don’t know about joining any of these groups, I am keeping a low profile for now. I am happy if I can just get to Mass on Sunday. I am quite severely disabled. Thank you for taking an interest. Check back with me after Christmas if you think of it and remind me of these groups then. Right now I am overwhelmed.

I might forget. Wishing you the best though, k

Inbox me anytime

Thank you, all this is very helpful, bless you.

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