Excluding people from your own funeral - bad idea?


#1

Wouldn’t the act of excluding by name some people from one’s own funeral be tantamount to not forgiving someone?

I mean I can concoct perhaps a reason where it might be acceptable…where one’s Ex might show up and her presence might be injurious to one’s current wife, etc.

But Sarah Palin was apparently excluded from McCain’s funeral.

Seems small, seems to be an act of nursing resentment, which can be a mortal sin.


#2

We can’t know the reasons for it, so we certainly can’t determine if it’s a sin at all.


#3

It’s a useful excercise to go through.

And people in leadership positions have an undue ifluence. I can imagine a sad small trend developing.

Bad way to go out in my book…but you have your own book.


#5

Well, maybe he told you his reasons. He didn’t tell me, so I can’t say if it’s a “bad way to go out” or not.


#6

She should be happy to have PNG badge.


#7

I don’t know, I guess it depends. I think if I were to to something like that it would be because someone had hurt me or somehow wronged me in the past. So yeah, I guess it would kind of be like not forgiving. But, I can only speak for my own reasons. Unless we’re told someone’s reasons, we really can’t judge.


#8

Is there a funeral police to enforce the exclusions?

That would be a sucky job…


#9

I would have a private funeral.


#10

I can tell you that at my Grandma Barb’s memorial, we did not want at least one woman there…basically we as a family were sick of the way she had treated Grandma…but she showed up anyways!! Thankfully she handled herself with compassion. Because I was prepared to kick her out!!


#11

AKA security. But from what I’ve read they won’t be turned away if they show up.


#12

I always thought funerals, like weddings were public events. Now a ban of someone in order to protect the grieving family members would not be unreasonable


#13

I would like as many as possible to pray for me when I’m gone.Excluding someone from a funeral would be kind of a selfish act,lack of charity to have that pre arranged.It would gain you nothing, and hurt someone,and also affect that persons reputation somehow, cause gossip and unkind thoughts and words… so yes, my thoughts would be that it would give you some more time in purgatory if that’s where you were going :thinking:


#14

If you think the excluded person would cause upheaval and disturb the other mourners, I would absolutely exclude someone specific. Or in general, if that person didn’t mourn but attended for other reasons, such as (media) attention, they might as well stay away.


#15

No, it’s really not very charitable (but I had a good giggle when I read it, sorry Lord).


#16

It is, as it is. His living family is there, also. The presence of certain ppl could make them uncomfortable. I didn’t know about Sarah. Maybe he blamed her for his loss???
Anyway, he could have forgiven but didn’t want to play phoney. God will square it away. His mercy and forgiveness is forever…
God bless
Tweedlealice


#17

Lol!

Seriously, you’re going to be too dead to care.

ICXC NIKA


#18

Having Palin as a running mate was ultimately his decision, party influence or not, so as far as that goes he should have just owned up to it. If he blames her for losing and that’s the reason, then it comes across as petty. But this could be a private matter so God only knows. His exclusion of Trump was understandable.

I guess as the saying goes, “it’s your funeral.”


#19

Since you will be dead, you can’t actually exclude anyone from your funeral. It’s not a by invitation event.


#20

Which is worse excluding people from your funeral or gossiping about people who exclude people from theirs?


#21

It is not our job to judge the sins or motives of other people. Rash judgement is actually a sin, so, it is best to avoid stepping into it.

A funeral is a private event, the family may choose to make it public, but, they also have the right invite whom they please. Only exception is a funeral Mass, and even that does not need to be advertised to the public.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.