Exiting Facebook?


#1

Anybody have ideas on how young teenagers can make a graceful exit from Facebook? After some time on this social network my friend’s daughter (age 14) has decided this isn’t for her (all the gossip, language, bullying, etc.) but doesn’t know how to “exit” without being asked a ton of question by her classmates and looking stupid and getting teased/bullied about it at school.
Any ideas?


#2

I think it would be appropriate to send a "private message" to her close friends and simply say "I think I'm done with facebook, it's just not worth my time and effort any more. I'm still reachable on my email: [email]abc@email.com[/email]... so please stay in touch!!"

Short, simple and to the point...

I personally love facebook, but can understand the need for some to quit. This has been the method I've seen others take and it seems to work out just fine!


#3

I like Em's idea of a message explaining why she's leaving. She could also mention reasons like all the news reports about people getting fired, jailed, etc. for things that happen on facebook. If she just says "it's not worth my time anymore" or "you all are soooo mean here!! :mad:" it might look like she's just looking for drama.
Unfortunately, leaving facebook does have a lot of social consequences. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is on facebok and the handful of people who aren't are looked at as backwards, strange, and socially ackward. Of course, I don't think 14-year-olds are ready to handle facebook and shouldn't be on there. When I joined in 2006, only college students could join. I don't think it's a good place for middle and high school students.


#4

I don’t know if you even have to private message anybody, just don’t visit Facebook. She can leave her page up if she’s ever interested in it again, or can find a way to socialize on it without all the drama. If anyone asks, she can just say she can’t find the time to be on the computer that much between school and other activities.


#5

Just cancel the account. A lot of my friends have done this (one because he felt it was too unChristian, or so I think). No one thinks too much of it. They’d ask your daughter at school “Did you cancel your Facebook”? Your daughter would say “Yes”, and the conversation would shift to another topic.


#6

A nicely worded good bye message to the inboxes of every friend they want to stay in touch with and a you can reach me at thing. Add a post in the main feed then cancel.


#7

[quote="MarianD, post:5, topic:215598"]
Just cancel the account. A lot of my friends have done this (one because he felt it was too unChristian, or so I think). No one thinks too much of it. They'd ask your daughter at school "Did you cancel your Facebook"? Your daughter would say "Yes", and the conversation would shift to another topic.

[/quote]

My 19 yr old granddaughter also cancelled her facebook, she just told her friends it was not what she wanted to do right now.


#8

[quote="Elzee, post:1, topic:215598"]
Anybody have ideas on how young teenagers can make a graceful exit from Facebook? After some time on this social network my friend's daughter (age 14) has decided this isn't for her (all the gossip, language, bullying, etc.) but doesn't know how to "exit" without being asked a ton of question by her classmates and looking stupid and getting teased/bullied about it at school.
Any ideas?

[/quote]

I think the nicely worded message is a good idea. Also it would be good to have something planned to say when people ask her about it in person. For acquaintances, she can stick with her simple answer. But I wouldn't be surprised if her friends aren't satisfied with her short-sweet explanation and pester her further. In that case, it would be perfectly appropriate for her to tell them why she doesn't like it. I can appreciate not wanting to be pestered, but we also shouldn't hide our light under a bushel, and maybe it would be good for her friends to hear another teen say they don't like the gossip and bullying. Some might even agree and follow her example.


#9

I closed out my Facebook page earlier this academic year. I put my status to "Due to a number of spiritual, intellectual, and social reasons, I will no longer be maintaining this Facebook page effective in one week. If you would like to remain in contact with me through some other means, please send me a private message in the coming week and I will give you my contact information." Words to that effect are pretty helpful--you've stated your reasons, and if people ask questions, just tell them that you've got your reasons and you'd rather just leave it at that. To most people who replied I gave my email address, and to some whom I know better I gave my other contact info if they didn't already have it.

-ACEGC


#10

She doesn't really have to make an official exit, if she wants to do it without causing a stir. She can set all her settings to the most private settings, and set it so no one can write on her wall etc, and just not log on. I think there is a setting for pictures too, so people won't see any pictures associated with her. If she didn't post much to begin with, people might not notice. She can still receive messages from facebook if she wishes. I go through phases where I ignore my facebook page and others where I check it frequently. I have family members that have an account but rarely get on it... its not a big deal to just stop using it, no need to draw attention to herself making a big statement if it is something she wants to avoid.


#11

If she really wants to not have a page, she can cancel her account and I doubt she'll get a lot of guff for it.

Nowadays, when I talk to someone my age (mid-20s) and they say they don't have fb, most people are likely to say "good for you" as opposed to "what?? why not??" As kids get older they understand it as what my niece calls it--a time-suck. She'll probably save herself a lot of grief in college and beyond from not having an account. Good for her!!


#12

I’m with those who think that it isn’t necessary to make a grand exit from Facebook.

I’ve always been puzzled by people who think they need to make a public announcement that they are leaving an electronic forum or social site. Most people just sort of fade away quietly if they no longer wish to participate.

As far as Facebook is concerned, I think lifeisbeautiful has the right idea. She can increase her privacy settings, sign out of chat so she’s not visible if she is on Facebook to check messages (if she gets email notifications she doesn’t even need to sign in), and just stop updating her status. It won’t take people long to figure out that Facebook is an unreliable way to contact her.


#13

This is what i was going to suggest too. Make everything private and then just kind of disappear slowly. It will also be helpfully because people won’t be able to post on her wall but she could still be active if she wanted too. If she was older maybe a message to everyone but with kids today it might make everyone attack her more.


#14

[quote="SMHW, post:12, topic:215598"]
I'm with those who think that it isn't necessary to make a grand exit from Facebook.

I've always been puzzled by people who think they need to make a public announcement that they are leaving an electronic forum or social site. Most people just sort of fade away quietly if they no longer wish to participate.

As far as Facebook is concerned, I think lifeisbeautiful has the right idea. She can increase her privacy settings, sign out of chat so she's not visible if she is on Facebook to check messages (if she gets email notifications she doesn't even need to sign in), and just stop updating her status. It won't take people long to figure out that Facebook is an unreliable way to contact her.

[/quote]

I agree. There's no need to draw attention to her decision. That seems to be the opposite of what she would want. When one has hundreds of "friends", most would hardly notice if one friend suddenly isn't so active anymore. I know that I certainly would not. Maybe 14 years olds pay closer attention to that sort of stuff.

Even if she decided to delete her account altogether, I don't think that most people would notice. Then again, I'm not 14. Perhaps someone in her class who monitors their friend count with obsessive precision would notice the decrease in their friend count and then take the time to compare their friend list to their folder of saved friend confirmation emails. And, once outed, then they would start spreading that info to the entire class. :shrug:

I guess it might be better to just stop using it. Then, if anyone at school asks her "Did you see what so-and-so posted on Facebook?" she can just say, "No, I didn't see it."

If it were up to me, one would have to be 18 to have a FB account rather than 13. I think we've probably only begun to see all the added drama that FB is bringing to junior highs and high schools.


#15

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