I am hoping that someone else out there has had to deal with this at some point in their life and can give me some feedback as to how to deal.
This is a bit long and I apologize but I wanted to give as much detail as I could to give people a clear idea of the kind of person my Mom is and what I’ve been dealing with.
I am currently 5 months pregnant with my first child. I’m almost 28 yrs old. This will be the first grandchild for my mother and father. I have an older brother who’s almost 37. He’s gay and has never had any children,.
Growing up was no picnic for my brother and I. My Mom was too short tempered and could explode at the drop of a dime. She was very critical of every aspect of our lives, especially mine seeing that I was the girl(I’ll touch more on that later). If we said or did something wrong she’d beat us. My Brother really wore the brunt of it though.
When I was 6 and he was 15 he took the car for a joyride. I agree that he definitely deserved to be punished but not to the extent that she took it. I was sitting on the steps balling my eyes out because I seriously thought she was going to kill him. She kicked him in the stomach and pounded her fist repeatedly on the top of his head and in the side of his head and smacked him hard across the face and then slammed his head into the garbage room door. It took all the strength that my Father had to pull her off of him.
As soon as my Brother turned 18 he left home as soon as he could but I was still stuck there. As I got into my teens she took her critical comments up a notch. If I gained weight it wasn’t good. I wouldn’t have any friends. I looked discusting. I would never have a boyfriend. I would die of a heart attack or a stroke. I looked like a two tun tussie, I was a porposs. I was a whale. If my grades weren’t good enough I wasn’t applying myself hard enough. My hair was never right. My teeth were never right. I never smiled properly because I showed too much of my gums. If I spent extra time in my room I was antisocial. All of my friends that I had were fat. Any boy I brought home to meet her there was something wrong with. He was either ugly, not trustworthy, or looked like he was gay.
So what ended up happening to me? I moved out when I was 22 yrs old. However she had a very severely negative impact on my psychological well being and was the primary reason why I suffer from depression and anxiety. I ended up doing therapy for 4 years. I learned that the way that she treated my brother and I was due to her own upbringing and it was learned behavior that she would have to unlearn. Therapy helped me a lot. However I still find her difficult to deal with.Especially now. She tends to take things and twist them and make herself look like the victim. She likes to manipulate and control people.
I forgive her yes. I knew I had to or else I would never live in peace again. However, I don’t like being stressed out while I’m pregnant and this is what is going on.
I am having a boy. She was thrilled when I told her. She wanted me to have a boy because she said she likes boys better.
She will not stop buying clothing. I greatly apprechiate it but I am running out of space in the baby’s bedroom. The closet is very full and I don’t have a dresser yet because my husband is away sailing with the Navy and is supposed to take care of that when he comes back. Meanwhile I can barely move around in that room because she won’t stop buying clothing. It’s every where and is starting to overwhelm me.