experience with depression?

Have you been diagnosed with depression? I have a question for any of you who don’t mind answering. That whole part about losing interest in life and not wanting to do anything anymore…can you describe what that actually feels like? How did it affect (or does affect) your life?

I have to deal with depression on an almost daily basis. It actually started a few years ago where it went from having run of the mill PMS once in a while to full blown PPD to constant depression. Two months ago, when I blew up at my daughter for a VERY minor accident, I decided it was time to seek help.

When I feel as if I have lost interest in things, life, sex, activities… what happens is that I can sit on the couch and just mindlessly fold laundry. Or be on the internet staring at my inbox for my email wishing someone would write me or I could find something interesting to write to someone else. My husband would say “Let’s go for a walk!” and I’d look at him and say “Nah, you go ahead.” While in actuality, my body would be SCREAMING to go on that walk, my mind would have no interest whatsoever. And then I’d feel depressed about it because I know I’m out of shape and the walk would do me some good.

I’d watch my house go into disarray and I’d never be able to find the energy to do anything about it.

I’d notice everyone around me was having fun but I’d feel very empty, very unfulfilled and actually bored.

I’d have to force myself into enjoying sex with my husband, which doesn’t happen much anymore anyway because I’ve lost all interest. Talk about NO libido.

My depression effects my life in the sense that I feel it’s cyclical. When I’m depressed, I don’t sleep. When I don’t sleep, I feel horrible and have a short fuse. When I have a short fuse, NOTHING is enjoyable and my family walks on egg shells. I realize they’re walking on eggshells because of me and it makes me more depressed. See the vicious cycle?

Two months ago when I decided it was time to take charge of my life and get help, I was very honest with my doctor. She put me on Zoloft which has helped me to actually sleep better. Which in turn has helped me to calm down and not have such a short fuse. I’ve also started to exercise again and cut out the Mt. Dew and that’s seemed to help too.

I hate feeling like I’ve got nothing to be interested in, nothing to “live for.” I’m not suicidal by any stretch of the imagination and have never thought of that, but just feeling blah all the time is very upsetting.

Sorry for the long post and I’m not sure if I helped answer your question. :o

Thank you so much for sharing that! It was helpful:thumbsup:

**I have a couple of reasons for asking the question. Number one, my mom and sis both deal with issues that may or may not be depression. I want to understand more fully exactly what they may be dealing with.

Secondly, having Fibromyalgia, i have often been told that it’s a result of depression or just plain old depression. Some of my docs don’t believe that and neither do I. And from reading just your description I am pretty sure now.

For me, my mind has interest in all kinds of things. I make plans, I hope, I dream, I look forward to things… and sometimes my body won’t cooperate. So it seems like the reverse of what you describe.**

Two months ago when I decided it was time to take charge of my life and get help, I was very honest with my doctor. She put me on Zoloft which has helped me to actually sleep better. Which in turn has helped me to calm down and not have such a short fuse. I’ve also started to exercise again and cut out the Mt. Dew and that’s seemed to help too.

You just described exactly the way I have been feeling. You are right. It is an UGLY, VICIOUS cycle and I am so done with it! I I have a written scrip for Zoloft right now that I haven’t taken in to be filled yet. I’ve been on a few other SSRI’s (anti-depressants) and have found that they kill whatever libido I’ve had left, and that if I don’t take them the same time every day (which I’m not good at doing), I get a “swishy” feeling in my head.

Did you start with a low dose of Zoloft and work up? Can you PM me maybe and tell me what dose has worked for you? I’m curious because your story describes me exactly and I’m wondering if the low dose is going to work for me or not, but worry that a higher dose will produce more side effects.

I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but I’m sure I had PPD.

There was no hope, no joy, nothing to look forward to in all life, nothing I liked or cared for, nothing that could make me laugh or smile. I remember a lovely winter day when my MIL came over and played with my daughter in the snow, and asked me to join them. Normally, I LOVE snow, but I just couldn’t be bothered.

My beautiful, wonderful daughter was just a chore for me. I felt nothing for her or anyone else in the world. All people frustrated me. I knew suicide was a sin, so I dreamed of dying in an accident. :shrug:

If you don’t think you’re depressed, you’re NOT! Fight those doctor meanies! Make them understand what you’re really going through!

You’re sich a cheerful, witty, strong person, Malia! I know you’re not depressed! Praying for you!

Please keep all threads and PMs free of medical advice or diagnosing. However someone may present themselves on the internet is not an indication of their true and actual health, and assuring them of their health and well-being is not safe to do. In the same regard, identifying with one person’s health or illness does not mean that their diagnosis is exactly your issue as well. If someone is concerned about a health issue, whether that be medicinal or an actual diagnosis, please contact a medical professional.

This thread is now closed. Please contact a professional to learn more about how depression manifests itself.

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