Experience With Half-Sleep Masturbation

I overcame my habit of masturbation almost a year ago, but even about a year before that I noticed I was masturbating in a half sleep state. It got worse and worse, but a month ago I decided to be tougher and up my willpower, and the occurances decreased from 5 times a week to twice a week. I have a Catholic therapist for this too now. I told my girlfriend about it and she’s helped me through it, though it’s been hard to see how much it hurts her. I tell her every time it happens and when it doesn’t. But no matter what I do, something seems to happen twice a week. I want to just have natural nocturnal emissions and not be stimulating myself half asleep. My girlfriend is adamant about me not proposing until this issue has gone away, but she’s also incredibly dedicated and will stick with me no matter what.

I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through this and come out having no more occurances at night. I’ve hit rock bottom with this emotionally many times now, and I’m just desperate to have an answer. My girlfriend is also adamant about not just using physical means to try and fix it because she doesn’t believe they will work in the long run, and my therapist also counciled to seek a more psychological means. But if someone has got through this in any way I’m dying to hear how.

So has anyone got through this occurance free? And how long did it take?

What do you mean “half-asleep”? Are you conscious of what you are doing or is it involuntary? This is what you must decipher.

I have a similar problem but with dreams. I once confessed it to a priest and he told me it was not a sin because it wasn’t a conscious choice, rather my body’s response to being celibate. But, it would be a sin if I watch material that caused me to have these dreams.

Don’t watch such material, even romantic comedies and sitcoms have such innuendos and control your thoughts. Everytime I start to have a bad thought I pray to myself “My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, not a den of thieves.” Or say a Hail Mary.

I also suffered from a compulsive masturbating , everyday is a battle just like a recovering addict. I recently had a dream in which I was doing it, and when I woke up I was so upset with myself thinking I did but then notice my hands were at my sides.

Long story short, pray and avoid the near occasion of sin. And don’t give up.

I find your girlfriend’s attitude a little odd, (as I do your practice of revealing this matter to her). The view that you may not be suitable to marry on account of this seems extreme.

I would also like to understand what “half-asleep” means, and how your willpower can influence “half-asleep” actions.

I’ve had a similar issue before where I would grope my wife in my sleep. I found that putting a pillow between by knees (I’m a side sleeper) got me a better sleep and kept me from rolling in her direction.

I totally understand how you can do something half-asleep. I would quasi-come to at some point and be very, Very confused.

-Change how or where you sleep. Sometimes a guy’s unconscious can be a real turkey.

CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations
The Imitation of Christ

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man's life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation. 

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations. 

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes. 
The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God's help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself. 

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him. 

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God's ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses. 

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.

I agree with this.

It would seem to me that discussing such personal things to your girlfriend, and a therapist, might even make the situation worse. Perhaps giving it way to much airtime is part of the problem.

To clarify some things,

I am not committing sin. It’s not a temptation any more. It happens when i’m not fully conscious but i’m not alseep (usually between 20 minutes to an hour of falling asleep). But it is a wound of a past life of sin, and I’d like it to stop.

I also have kept this quiet to all but my confessor for a year already, and it has not gotten worse since I got a therapist and told my girlfriend.

If anyone has had this happen and it stopped, or if you know anyone who has gone through this (I would praise God and thank you if you asked people you knew for make sake), I will be eternally grateful to hear what I should do.

Thank you

If it’s not a deliberate, conscious sin then I dont understand why your girlfriend is distressed by it. Does your confessor know that you are also confessing this issue to her and agrees that this is helpful? It seems to be causing her unnecessary pain.

Given there is no sin, all the more unreasonable of your girlfriend to hold it so harshly against you that she will not consider marriage! What a wholly unreasonable position she takes!

As to how to stop, I suggest you devise some tying of a cord, when in bed, such that it restricts your hand(s) from touching you in a way that may cause “it” to happen.

If you’re desperate on giving up on unwanted sex, which I have, go to your doctor and ask for something to tame your libido. I’m on Paxil, and it took a while for them to become fully effective, and I’m at peace.

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