Explain This To Me

Without a big debate and some opinions from others

If Sex is supposed to be used and a good and spiritual way and we make a mistake in our past or present that does not make us a bad person and what about the people that arent married like engaged couples.

What makes material that is expressed in a way that is appriopriate bad because it is a book or on TV, I am not a stupid person Take in consideration when ministers on TV talk about sex that is not bad material right?

I am little confused and a new member of The Catholic Church, explain in this area for me might help me understand maybe recommend some links. Help!

There are many people in this world. Some people have sex, are comfortable with it and their relationship and don’t need help from anybody about sex. For them to hear or see information about sex does not cause them to sin.

Other people are not comfortable with sex, perhaps they are promiscuous, perhaps they never have sex. Ever talk to someone that had no success in dating, or sex? How can someone that is troubled by sex achieve peace with it? It isn’t easy. But for people that are having trouble with sex any mention of it may be troubling. Doesn’t that make sense?

At least on this web site you are going to find a bunch of people that are very concerned about, or interested in, sex. Topics on sex are always very popular. The truth is that people that are at peace sexually don’t talk about it. In their lives sex fits into their life, it doesn’t cause discussions or problems.

If you have sex with your spouse, and love him, or her, to the very best of your ability sex will become something that is beautiful and not in any way associated with sin. It is really all about your attitude and what you are centered on in your life. Sex is not everything, babies sort of think they are, but they get over it.

Step 1 : Celibacy is the standard state

Step 2 : Men and woman are design to bond and leave the celibate state ( read Natural Moral Law)

Step 3 : Marriage is act between the man and woman (not the church or priest) it is a convent entered with God

Step 4 : The man and woman are to stay together with or without relations, even if unable to cohabitate (drugs, prison, physical harm) they are to remain celibate and physically separated but spiritually married. This is to honor their covenant and to raise their children in a proper society

Other : If the man and woman are Catholic the Church honors and celebrates the marriage. This is a sacramental marriage. The Church recognizes “Natural Marriage” which is the *same **except not celebrated by the Church.

More other:
If a man and woman monogamously bond this is a form of natural marriage.

No sex is acceptable outside the marriage state

Hope that helps

  • no second, third, or multiple partners in the marriage

The Church views any sexual sin to be a violation of the sixth commandment (do not commit adultery).

I would recommend reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church beginning at article 2331

Thanks to everyone so far that has answered, As an adult I know this is wrong if you are not a married person, although it is harder for the younger generation.

I will say I have my faults and that si why when I know it is wrong I fix my mistake and I move on but I keep an open mind about the world especially on this subject which all know is becoming popular.

Some clarifications:

Larry87504 implies that, as long as you’re “comfortable” with your sex life, you’re OK. Sorry, Larry; you may be comfortable with mortal sin now, but you *might *be extremely uncomfortable later.

And we are not preoccupied with sex; that’s a function of the culture of death. We **are **preoccupied with getting to Heaven, and getting as many people there as possible. Including you!

Texas Roofer says, “If a man and woman monogamously bond this is a form of natural marriage.”

That could be an excuse for cohabitation - but it is not Church teaching. *There has to be a valid wedding!
*
A little tough love from Ruthie

Ruthie kinda proved my point.I didn’t say anything about my sex life. Why is she talking to me about mortal sin? Notice how quickly she associated sex with mortal sin?

In the Old Testament particularly the teaching David and Abraham would not follow this logic.

Texas Roofer says, “If a man and woman monogamously bond this is a form of natural marriage.”

That could be an excuse for cohabitation - but it is not Church teaching. *There has to be a valid wedding!
*
A little tough love from Ruthie

Catholic teaching separates the Catholic baptized from the rest, only those baptized in the Catholic Church would require a “valid wedding”. Please note a Catholic wedding and baptisms have not existed through most history. Similarly, the Church has no authority over the non-Catholic.

from the Catechism :*

Equality and difference willed by God

369
Man and woman have been created, which is to say, willed by God: on the one hand, in perfect equality as human persons; on the other, in their respective beings as man and woman. “Being man” or “being woman” is a reality which is good and willed by God: man and woman possess an inalienable dignity which comes to them immediately from God their Creator.240 Man and woman are both with one and the same dignity “in the image of God.” In their “being-man” and “being-woman,” they reflect the Creator’s wisdom and goodness.

370
In no way is God in man’s image. He is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. But the respective “perfections” of man and woman reflect something of the infinite perfection of God: those of a mother and those of a father and husband.241
"Each for the other"—“A unity in two”

371
God created man and woman together and willed each for the other. The Word of God gives us to understand this through various features of the sacred text. "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him."242 None of the animals can be man’s partner.243 The woman God “fashions” from the man’s rib and brings to him elicits on the man’s part a cry of wonder, an exclamation of love and communion: "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."244 Man discovers woman as another “I,” sharing the same humanity.

372
Man and woman were made “for each other”—not that God left them half-made and incomplete: he created them to be a communion of persons, in which each can be “helpmate” to the other, for they are equal as persons (“bone of my bones . . .”) and complementary as masculine and feminine. In marriage God unites them in such a way that, by forming "one flesh,"245 they can transmit human life: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth."246 By transmitting human life to their descendants, man and woman as spouses and parents cooperate in a unique way in the Creator’s work.247

373
In God’s plan man and woman have the vocation of “subduing” the earth248 as stewards of God. This sovereignty is not to be an arbitrary and destructive domination. God calls man and woman, made in the image of the Creator "who loves everything that exists,"249 to share in his providence toward other creatures; hence their responsibility for the world God has entrusted to them.*

Ruthie kinda proved my point.I didn’t say anything about my sex life. Why is she talking to me about mortal sin? Notice how quickly she associated sex with mortal sin?

Larry, I do not associate sex itself with mortal sin. Sex is a lovely gift from God, which we can choose to abuse.

You said “Some people have sex, are comfortable with it and their relationship and don’t need help from anybody about sex.”

Back in my “bad old days” I was completely comfortable with my active, unmarried sex life. I now know that I was committing grave sin. That is where my concern arose.

Perhaps you assumed your “some people” were married, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion that you were comfortable with “some people” committing grave sin. If so, I am sorry.

Ruthie

Texas Roofer wrote:
Catholic teaching separates the Catholic baptized from the rest, only those baptized in the Catholic Church would require a “valid wedding”.

Not true. I know a bit about what’s valid and what’s not from having been through the annulment process. A wedding between two non-Catholics is valid. (There’s a difference between “valid” and “sacramental.”) The rules for Catholics marrying non-Catholics are more complicated. You quoted the Catechism on what man & woman were created for; I suggest you read Article 7 about matrimony. It starts with paragraph 1601.

You also said,
Please note a Catholic wedding and baptisms have not existed through most history.

Two points:

First, both have existed throughout Christian history. That may not be “most history,” but it is the history with which we are *usually *concerned in these forums.

Second, the first mention of “married” is Gen. 19:14, which implies that marriage has existed throughout human history. Plus we Catholics, and all the Protestant sects with which I am familiar, take Gen 2:21-24 to be the institution of marriage.

Of course, the Catholic church has no authority over anyone who chooses not to give her that authority (including some who call themselves Catholic). - But she does consider anyone baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to be baptized Catholic!

Ruthie

it would seem Larry’s print is correct,

Back in my “bad old days” I was completely comfortable with my active, unmarried sex life. I now know that I was committing grave sin. That is where my concern arose…"…

I would suggest to you that when multiple partners are involved the person is not “comfortable” but compensating

Thank you however if you read Article 7 you will find it concerns baptized Catholics - not others. Similarly the above quote is actually correct, Protestants are not under Catholic’s Code of Canon Law. Only invalid marriages can be annulled, valid marriages can not be annulled. When married Prostestants join the church their marriage is presumed valid no finding is made

You also said,
Please note a Catholic wedding and baptisms have not existed through most history.

Two points:

First, both have existed throughout Christian history. That may not be “most history,” but it is the history with which we are *usually *concerned in these forums.

Religion did not start at 1 AD please note your catholic bible records to the beginning of the earth

Second, the first mention of “married” is Gen. 19:14, which implies that marriage has existed throughout human history. Plus we Catholics, and all the Protestant sects with which I am familiar, take Gen 2:21-24 to be the institution of marriage. .

Which is Natural Marriage no ceremonial marriage is mentioned in the garden; or for some time after

Of course, the Catholic Church has no authority over anyone who chooses not to give her that authority (including some who call themselves Catholic). - But she does consider anyone baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to be baptized Catholic!

Ruthie

actually that is Christian, or validly baptized. The Code of Canon Law applies only to persons formally received into the Church through baptism or Rite of Welcoming (? or Election we can check if you need)

hope that helps

Well, Texas Roofer, it seems we are ignoring the OP’s request for no big debates!

You said,
Which is Natural Marriage no ceremonial marriage is mentioned in the garden; or for some time after

You can no more prove this is true than I can prove that it is not. However, “natural marriage” no longer exists. Where did you get this idea of “Natural Marriage?”

I’m concerned, because it seems like something that an be used to justify “shacking up” and/or defying the need for an annulment.

Thank you however if you read Article 7 you will find it concerns baptized Catholics - not others.

I did a quick skim, and you’re right. It is in Canon Law that valid marriages between both two non-Catholics and two non-Christians are defined as valid.

The Code of Canon Law applies only to persons formally received into the Church…

Yes. Like I said, the Church only has authority over those who choose to give her authority. I do.

Ruthie

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.