Oh the JOYS of the holidays bring out the best in everyone! :rolleyes:
We have similar issues on both sides of our family (DH’s and mine) with extended family parenting styles - and there always seems to be weird feelings or upsets during the holidays when everyone gets together.
For example - one grand-neice on my husband’s side is a screamer… and what would be considered rude behavior (not greeting grandparents, silent stares when asked questions) is brushed off under the excuse of shyness. But yet, the parents don’t step in - in fact they DEFEND the screaming and lack of social awareness… “she’s just having a moment - we let her scream it out in the other room”… or “sorry Grandma, she’s being shy today and isn’t talking”…
It’s really challenging to watch! If MY kids were behaving this way I’d instruct them that it’s rude to not talk to someone when they’re asking a question!.. And if they were screaming I’d pick them up and correct them in the other room and expect them to come out and apologize! This is how they act in front of FAMILY that they KNOW, it’s not like they’re complete strangers!
I’m all for letting the parents decide what’s right when it comes to parenting their children… but at some point it’s blatantly RUDE! I mean, come on - poor Grandma! Once another uncle tried to step in and say “Answer the question, sweetie - Grandma’s waiting!”… and that’s when all hell broke loose about parenting styles and all that jazz.
Sigh… very similar issues on my side of the family…
Any advice on how to avoid hurt feelings or upsets?