This is my story.my wife and I have been married 19 years in my eyes most of them good.
we have had some up and downs.there was some infidelity early on her part.which I forgave I had some issues with drugs and alcohol.we were separated for a time.went to counseling and went on with our lives.we have 5 beautiful children 19, 14, 12, 8 and a 6 year.old daughter February 07 we went on a marriage encounter.my wife had said we have a good marriage.she just wanted to make it better.I was o.k with that.be here comes the trouble.I was never told we were going on a marriage encounter she told me we were going on a surprise trip for my birthday.I had pictured a romantic getaway.when we got there I was pretty upset.but I put it behind me and proceeded with an open mind and heart.we learned a lot about each other and I think it brought us closer together.one thing about me that was bothering my wife was I was never a Total catholic in her eyes.not that I wasn’t spiritual I have made all my sacraments, I was an altar boy and I went to a catholic school.this is where my issues started.more on that later.things were really good after that.then my life would take a drastic change for the worse.that following June my Father past away, on the way to his viewing it was in a serious car accident in a 1965 Mustang that I had waited years for.it was my third ride in the car. I should have gone to the hospital but I called a friend for a ride to meet the family,and pay my lasts respects.
the following months after that would prove to be a tremendous strain on my life, marriage
and family.once all the strain and anxiety of the funeral past I began to encounter serious pain and one day I finally collapsed in agony.turns out I had 2 herniated disc in my lower back.I require surgery for a fusion and a disc replacement which i still wait for to this day.
I have been out of work since the accident.and have received no compensation to date.
I had also fallen into a deep depression.I started abusing drugs again.I have been in therapy for a year.and I must say I haven’t felt this good about myself for a long time.now comes the most agonizing part my wife filed for divorce back in February,she has taken the kids and moved out the end of May.She said she is tired of trying to work on the marriage.she refuses to go to counseling,or see our Pastor.she said she is done and thats that.and this is what really kills me, she comes from a large very devoted Irish catholic family.they are pushing her for the divorce, I went tot talk to her parents all I got was the blame and a bad cup of coffee.divorce has been very common in her family.her sister who I’m sure is coaching her has been divorced twice,another sister.and a brother so 4 out of 7 will be divorced if this goes through.I have even gone to see our Pastor and I was beyond belief when he told me “give her the divorce and get on with your life”.this has sent me into a terrible place.it seems the harder I pray the more I seek God’s help the worst it gets.and back to why I drifted away from the church.while I was in catholic school
I had a bit of a terrible time.I was a good kid from a broken home my Dad was an alcoholic and abusive.and I was generally the recipient only to draw attention from my other siblings.I was the 2nd oldest of 5.but I was never one to back down.to make things even worse I feel victim to an abusive Nun.I was beaten, ridiculed and humiliated for years.
and there was no way I could mention this at home in fear of just being beaten again.
so this remained suppressed for a long long time.I just had this feeling that somehow God had let me down.and I know it is not so but I can’t help but feel that way again.so I fight to go on.I was a stay at home Dad.my wife left me with nothing not a dime.turned of all utilities,emptied the freezer and basically left me for dead.I am musician I had to sell guitars and equipment that I would have left for my children.I am now on welfare waiting on social security.I am soon to be homeless because I can’t pay the mortgage.I have been reduced to nothing.I have never ever been abusive to my wife or kids,I have always projected peace, love and goodness.I have a little daughter who I cherish.and I have this deeply entrenched question…WHY? what about forgiveness.what about commitment.what about compassion, in sickness in health for richer for poorer till death do us part…So Help Me God.
Sorry if I rambled on had to get it out
Peace Love and God Bless !