As a catholic who has lived his entire life in the Church and a medical student, I have started to defend the faith to protestant friends and muslim friends.and thus I have taken a deeper interest in discovering the faith.
on a summer job this year I discovered a man (whom I have know for a year) to be the most devout Christian I have ever met. I have discussed him with my priest, who believes him to be a mystic.
This man has got very catholic views although being from a protestant background. He does not deny transubstantion as a possible interperation from scriptures, and he does not believe in once saved always saved. He has told me and another girl that God has got great plans for us! He says he knows God has been talking to me for a long time, which is true.
But he said " when you are a christain…" ie I am not a christain now. when I mention baptism he will say you must believe before you can be born again(or from above) with the spirit. In my experience being baptised is the start and each day is a constant stuggle, to reaffirm ones faith in God, to do what is right and just, every day seems like it needs a “second conversion”, rather that a “road to damascus experience” which this man has experienced.
However at dinner one night this week, his christian friend, said infants cant accept christ, it is parents doing it on their behalf, and you dont see any change in the lives of these kids after baptism or confirmation. I had nothing to say to her! I got more and more depressed until I have reached breaking point as I dwelt on these words, and have felt that possibly I am still outside and do not truely Christ.
my other friend at work, who was at dinner who was a not very religious protestant, asked God for a sign of his love and interest in her that night of the meal on the way home, she asked for something to run out in front of the car, 2 secs later a cat ran across the road in front.
I feel that she has accepted Christ in a more basic way, whereas My faith is intellectual, not heart felt enough, and God will not show me a sign as my heart is hardened, to defending church teachings.
Is the Holy Spirit possibly lacking in my life, and should I on the suggestion of the devout christian man, go with him the the local catholic Church charasmatic group?
can you help me with any insights?
I really appreciate your help.