Fall-out from husband's affair


My husband had an affair with his brother’s wife’s sister who was married at the time and in a divorce proceeding she is 20 years younger then him. He was acting bizarre for a long time to a point where I was frightened of him. Friends and family members were concerned that he would snap and do something horrible. I had numerous conversations with his brother and sister about his behavior and my concern although they knew of his affair they continuely lied to me. I did not find out until one year later after being emontionally and mentally abused at the onset of our divorce. It broke my heart and at the same time explained his behavior. It did not end his mistress called me relentlessly telling me how in love they were, how they were getting married after the divorce. How my husband never loved me, never wanted to marry me, never wanted our sons or our home. How they were happy and what they had together was special. My sister in law would say why don’t you just move on with your life. She would say if this makes him happy it is fine. I searched the internet for passive agressive, bi-polar, mutiple personalities. His mistress would call me and I would tell her I’m worried about him, she would laugh. I came across Mid Life Crisis, he was a text book version. Made worse by hiding behind his brother and sister who both lied to their own Mother and Father. We were worried about my husband. I did not know him he became another man. During this time being I was weak there was a predator at my place of work, he premeditated his attack on me and locked the doors and tried rape me. He was arrested and found guilty. My turmiol did not end here between the flash backs of near rape, my divorce and the knowledge of my husbands affair, the betrayal of all, the harassement of his mistress. I found a job near by store front had opened windows so I felt safe being I was nearly raped.
My husband is back for the second time, he came home sporatically during Nov & Dec and permenantly in Jan. On January 21st his mistress called me while I was at work. She should not have because I had her arrested for harassment. She called to tell me that my husbnad begged her to meet him on the 14 of Jan. the day after he dropped our son at college. She gave me a sterling recap of their romatic encounter and how he wants to throw up when he thinks of me. On Feb. 21 after work I put a Roast in the oven after about 1hour I checked my cell phone and there was a text from my husband. It said, “B out with my friend tonight, C U tomorrow, don’t start any ****”. I was sick. He returned the next morning with purfume on his sweater. He moved out April 20th to a apartment. I tried calling him and then she pushed the talk button and I heard her say, “It’s her again, what do you want me to do turn it off?” I heard him say, “Nah, leave it on let her keep trying”. I could hear the ego in his voice he was a different man. He moved back home again this June/July not even three months after he moved out. This time the bed, the dresser and everything else he had is gone. He says he’s home to stay. We’ve worked on our relationship and it was getting stronger only now his brother is having his child’s Baptism. **His mistress is invited, and he is invited but I am not invited. ** It is Sunday and I am not sure how I feel. I should be there if my husband is. After all I’ve been through I have given my husband a chance to be the man he was. But his brother claims that it is not a good idea to have me there because I had his sister-in-law arrested my husband’s mistress. Although it is now dismissed because she received a conditional dismissal. I’m not sure if my husband will attend or not. Not sure how I feel if he is there with his mistress without his wife. He’s frustrated and has tried to have me included but has failed. He does not want to lose his brother or sister. His brother’s wife is calling him begging him to go to the church and house afterwards? He is acting out again, I think he is confused and scared. He is saying it is all to soon perhaps because he has had no association with his mistress for months who is leaving him messages such as, “I can’t stop crying, I can’t handle your rejection anymore, my Joseph, my Love.” It is incrediable how they had the affair and hurt an entire family line with lies, deceit yet I am the one outcasted from Church? My husband may fear confronting his x-mistress or may fear his reaction to seeing her again? I have not told him he can’t go. I don’t know what to do, any suggestions here?


A story like this breaks my heart and I want to offer you 2 suggestions.

#1 Start your own thread on this topic so as to not divert from the original topic of this thread. [Moderator Note: Posts split into separate thread.]

#2 retrouvaille.org/

closed #3

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