Fallen away Catholic trying to change me


There is a lady I work with that was baptized Catholic. I don’t think she goes to mass. She will often make statements encouraging me to change my beliefs.

For example, the subject was trasgender and I said I was at a store and a man was trying on skirts with women boots up to his knees and I was uncomfortable.
Her: Really even in this day
Me: I am Catholic I believe it is sinful
Her: I am Catholic as well, I see nothing wrong with it, you need to let go of your views

Another example, she was talking about taking nude pictures of oneself in sexual poses.

ME: ‘I am Catholic. Catholics don’t have pre-marital sex’
HER: Sure they do, I am Catholic and I did it
ME: I believe in the religion and want to follow it
HER: You need to stop holding onto those ideas
ME: I consider myself very bless. I was gifted with a strong faith and am grateful Jesus gives me the strenght to follow it

I think what bugs me (since I want to be honest) is how she is ‘bad publicity’ ie portraying the religion to be something that it isn’t. The other thing that bugs me is she is telling me to change. I am simply stating that I (emphasis I) have certain views and she is basically telling me I am wrong to have them.

We get along in other areas. And at the end of the day, I am willing to live and let live. I suppsoe I just feel like I am not being the best example God is asking me to be.

Not sure what kind of feedback I am looking for here. Just felt like sharing


Have you asked her to knock it off? These are totally inappropriate conversations for the workplace.


I would patiently offer it up to God if I have to deal with someone like that. Try not to respond to her comments especially if they are about the LGBT or some other sensitive issues. They could get you fired. Don’t talk to her if you don’t have to.


It’s annoying when she tells you “you need to let go of your views”, “you need to stop holding on to those ideas” etc.

I think you need to just pray for her.

Don’t worry about her being “bad publicity”…in the face of what is going on with the clergy scandals, her “bad publicity” is going to have the effect of a gnat in a windstorm.


You just should let things go by. I don’t know if the gal is just trolling you or not, but you really should just let it go and not feel obligated to discuss these kinds of things with her. It isn’t part of your work, you can still be cordial, business like and friendly without arguing with her.

But the key is not to feed the trolls.


PRAY FOR HER! Really that’s about all you can do. She’s lost.


Just pray for her.

We should expect to receive hostility amd ridicule for our beliefs, it is just how it is. The world did not welcome Christ, they despised Him and nailed Him to a cross.

Pray for your friend.


From your examples, she’s responding when you bring up these subjects. The workplace isn’t really appropriate for these topics anyway, so it would be best to stop bringing them up, regardless of her opinions.


Yeah, not sure why you’re broaching these subjects in the first place at work.

Sex, politics and religion shouldn’t be discussed at work. The more you know.


Follow St Paul’s advice: '‘As for a man who is factious, after admonishing him once or twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is perverted and sinful; he is self-condemned.’ - Titus 3:10-11


Do not discuss religion or politics in the workplace (unless you work for a religious blog or a political campaign). It is not appropriate. Talk about work. If there is not enough work to keep you busy, something likely needs cleaned, filed or sorted. When that runs out, talk about the weather.


The old me would have dramatically said ‘oh I’m suddenly convinced!’ (sarcastically of course).

Current me would probably say something like: You seem to not understand where I’m coming from. You believe in so and so despite being Catholic. I believe in so and so because I’m Catholic.

And then avoid subject matters like this unless they are willing to discuss it outside of work.


Is the guy trying on women’s clothes actually sinful or just odd? I’m not convinced the clothes are a sin, though there may be something disordered going on.

Also she isn’t wrong…saying Catholics don’t have premarital sex isn’t true. We shouldn’t have premarital sex but it doesn’t mean nobody does it.

It’s hard to tell from those examples if she actually objects to church teaching or she takes issue with the way you say it.


While true, this doesn’t inhibit evangelization. We can show our faith in our actions and character, even amid our work, in the way we do our duties, relate to others, and make choices.


I would quietly offer prayers for her that God will open her eyes.


If she is otherwise your friend, try explaining how she is making you feel.


I don’t think most people find that topic particularly interesting and there isn’t much to say about it either.


umm… the truth is, I have had to make several statements to get people not to discuss sex with me in the work place. I am always the first to try to steer the conversation away from sex

And just because it is a well known fact sex should not be discussed in the work place it doesn’t change the reality and it is discussed VERY often and rudely


Thank you for verbalizing my point. It is important for me to let people know I am Catholic. Whether that brings them closer to Jesus or not is between them and Jesus


Personally I would rather just ask her if we can agree to disagree. If I explained how I felt she would use that as amunition to tell me to let go of my beliefs

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