Fallen in love with my daughter in a whole new way


I know it’s a weird title but it’s hard to put in the right words. My daughter just turned 12 last month. My relationship with my mom at this age was horrible and I guess I just expected a lot of angst and emotional drama around this age.

We all adore our kids and love them to peices as parents ofcourse but there is something different about this new stage of her maturity that makes her so much fun to be around. She’s not so little that I have to keep after her all the time, we can now shop together without her being bored unless we’re in the toy department and she is so darn helpful.

Even my mom has noticed a change. Last weekend she stayed the night at their house over night and when I called to see when we needed to pick her up my mom half-jokingly said “We can keep her.” She mentioned to me how she’s really growing up, how helpful she is. On Thanksgiving my mom she said she is so proud at the way I’m raising her. That is huge coming from my mom because compliments directed at me are very few and far between.

On Thanksgiving this was the first year she was in the kitchen wanting to help with everything. I taught her how to make cranberry sauce, we made a sweet potatoe pie together -anything and everything we asked her to do she was right on it. Usually she’s begs off so she can watch TV. (We don’t have TV at out house so she loves watching it at my parents house -it’s a treat.) And she usually finishes up dinner fast so she can go back to the TV. She didn’t do that this year, in fact she didn’t watch TV at all. She spent time with the family.

Last night it got late (we were out) before she got to doing the dishes, one of her normal chores so I said “Ok, first thing in the morning the dishes need to be done.” This morning I awoke to the sound of clanking dishes. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she actually did what I said but I remember as a kid “forgetting” about my chores, procrastinating etc.

I love the relationship I have with her, she really talks to me, comes to me for advice on just about everything. I guess we have the relationship I so wished I had had with my mom. I know this sounds like a huge brag fest but it isn’t meant to be. I’m just amazed at my little girl and the person she is growing into.

Are there certain stages in your own children’s developement which were extra-special or times you enjoyed the most?


That is so sweet.
My daughter just turned 11 and she’s become very mature in a short time. She’s more thoughtful and helpful, though still prone to emotional outbursts when she’s overwhelmed.

I have a question for you, rayne - we went to a movie today, and she wanted to go out to the concession stand for nachos, but I made her sit in her seat while I went for them. I’m not comfortable letting her wander around a large theater by herself. She’s smart but slightly built and very pretty. What age would you let your daughter go by herself? I’m thinking 14 or 15.


absolutely not, nor would I drop young teens off at the theater with friends. too many horror stories. i am thinking more like 18.

for OP yest 12 is a great age, might by my favorite, I have been here long enough to have followed 1st communion classes to HS, and middle-schoolers to Confirmation and I really do get a kick out of seeing how they change and mature. I will warn you as mom of 3 daughters 13 is NOT 12. Now in the calm before the storm might be a good time to reflect on your relationship with your mom, and think about what you might wish to do or say differently. only advice, please guard your tongue, words can inflict mortal damage on girls.


Vicki, Annie is absolutely correct about NOT dropping your daughter off at the Mall or Theater, especially during this time of year with the Holiday shopping. We have all girls, our rule is they (14yrs & younger) have to meet at someones house or Mall and a Mom has to go with them, even if the Mom just hangs back and keeps a distance.


No I wouldn’t let my daughter go herself either, her best friend is two years older and if they were together I’d let her but not alone. Fourteen or fifteen sounds about right. I am over protective in some ways. Our daughter has never walked past the end of our street alone.


Eek thanks for the warning. I hope 13 goes better with my daughter and I then it did with me and my mom. I guess I’ll enjoy the calm while it lasts.

My daughter hasn’t shown interest in hanging out at the mall yet so I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. My mom let me ride public transportation to the mall at 13 (with a friend).:eek: And my parents let me walk around alone when we visited Europe (mostly Paris, France but in Germany too) when I was 15. It’s weird because they were over protective in some ways but really not in others. I was a very responsible kid who would never trust a stranger but still no way at 15 would my kid be walking around a foreign country alone at 15 even she was very responsible.:nope:


We have a daughter turning 12 next week. She and I are having the same type of relationship - I am wondering when it’s going to turn for us as well and am trying to enjoy every minute right now. So I guess I have about a year left? I see some teenage moments coming around these days, but she quickly comes back. Although I have to say, this daughter has kind of been a teenager her whole life. We have three more daughters (and three sons) so maybe I’ll live and learn for the next ones!


My older dd is nearly 15, and she’s still a wonderful and a pleasure to “hang out” with. Around the age of 12, she started being so responsible. Cleaning up without being asked, making dinner, keeping her room up, taking care to make her own lunch for school, keep her own clothes ironed, etc. She even mends her own clothes! She now babysits our other children and neighbors’ kids and she is top notch. I don’t think 13 needs to be a disaster! I have another dd coming up…not sure what’s going to happen with her! She’s got a different personality than older dd. Thanks for such a positive post.

BTW, I only let dd go to public restrooms, concession stands, etc. when she goes with her younger sib or with a friend/cousin. OR with me watching from around the corner…:wink:


My dd is 13 going on 14 and delightful still. I didn’t really have a rebellious teenhood, so I’m hoping we can skip it with her too. I will say that she is starting in on the teenage naps though! Their brains and insides are maturing so fast at these ages, they start needing so much sleep–just like little babies! :wink:


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