I have a dear friend whom I met 15 years ago while my husband served in the Navy. She was the wife of my husband’s buddy. We have kept in touch over the years. We are the God parents to their oldest daughter.
Her husband was in a near fatal accident about 10 years and suffered a closed head injury. It has effected him tremendously. He functions fine, still serves in the Navy but his personality and behavior has done a 360. She has stuck by him and tolerated more then anyone would ask of her.
They recieved the last of their settlement money at the end of last year. She has just discovered he has been putting money in different accounts in different states. She went to the bank today and discovered at the beginning of December he took out $10,000 a day for a week. And that recently gave $20,000 to a teenage boy (he calls his best friend) to buy a car.
She has suspected him a at least two affairs with pretty good evidence (including pictures of her husband and another woman looking very cozy that he had stored on his computer).He’s even had to speak to the captain about his behavior with one of the woman. He has been violent in the past, screams at her and their children (only the girls-they have 1 son), and calls her unspeakable names and their 12 year old daughter as well. In front of other people he is very charismatic and charming so many people believe that she’s just a paranoid witch of a wife.
He has problems with pornography. My husband has seen it first hand when he came to visit (w/o his wife) when he was attending a Navy school nearby. My husband said his trunk was full of pornographic magazines, literally. His wife has found things numerous times on their computer.
They live off base and recently he has been hanging out almost exclusively with teenage boys. He has been giving them money left and right. One of the most disturbing and frightening things is that she found a website address and pics on his palm pilot of teenage boys masturbating. He says he has no idea how it go there.
She secretly has made an appointment with a lawyer. Her husband has the teenagers spy on her. One even followed her while she was driving a couple days ago and sits outside and watches her house to see who comes over. Her husband has been accusing her of having an affair because she recently bought new underwear. He’s taken her car keys in the past or trapped her car in with another vehicle so she can’t leave the house. Today he came home 4 times to check on her and broke the lock on their bedroom door when she wouldn’t let him in (she was talking on the phone w/her sister).
I don’t know exactly what the laws are in NJ and it been years since my husband was in the Navy but there has to be something that she do. He is a big guy and she is afraid of him retaliating if she does.
Does anyone have any good advice I can pass on to her? Thanks.