Familiar with N.J. (or Navy) family law?


#1

I have a dear friend whom I met 15 years ago while my husband served in the Navy. She was the wife of my husband’s buddy. We have kept in touch over the years. We are the God parents to their oldest daughter.

Her husband was in a near fatal accident about 10 years and suffered a closed head injury. It has effected him tremendously. He functions fine, still serves in the Navy but his personality and behavior has done a 360. She has stuck by him and tolerated more then anyone would ask of her.

They recieved the last of their settlement money at the end of last year. She has just discovered he has been putting money in different accounts in different states. She went to the bank today and discovered at the beginning of December he took out $10,000 a day for a week. And that recently gave $20,000 to a teenage boy (he calls his best friend) to buy a car.

She has suspected him a at least two affairs with pretty good evidence (including pictures of her husband and another woman looking very cozy that he had stored on his computer).He’s even had to speak to the captain about his behavior with one of the woman. He has been violent in the past, screams at her and their children (only the girls-they have 1 son), and calls her unspeakable names and their 12 year old daughter as well. In front of other people he is very charismatic and charming so many people believe that she’s just a paranoid witch of a wife.

He has problems with pornography. My husband has seen it first hand when he came to visit (w/o his wife) when he was attending a Navy school nearby. My husband said his trunk was full of pornographic magazines, literally. His wife has found things numerous times on their computer.

They live off base and recently he has been hanging out almost exclusively with teenage boys. He has been giving them money left and right. One of the most disturbing and frightening things is that she found a website address and pics on his palm pilot of teenage boys masturbating. He says he has no idea how it go there.

She secretly has made an appointment with a lawyer. Her husband has the teenagers spy on her. One even followed her while she was driving a couple days ago and sits outside and watches her house to see who comes over. Her husband has been accusing her of having an affair because she recently bought new underwear. He’s taken her car keys in the past or trapped her car in with another vehicle so she can’t leave the house. Today he came home 4 times to check on her and broke the lock on their bedroom door when she wouldn’t let him in (she was talking on the phone w/her sister).

I don’t know exactly what the laws are in NJ and it been years since my husband was in the Navy but there has to be something that she do. He is a big guy and she is afraid of him retaliating if she does.

Does anyone have any good advice I can pass on to her? Thanks.


#2

The military lawyers should be able to help her. If he is doing these types of activities, the military will send a CID (criminal investigation division) to investigate and put up charges. Sadly, the military community is just a reflections more or less of society.

If she lives in a military community, most likely there are several ex-military turned civilian lawyers just outside of post. They regularly advertise in the weekly military paper. If not, I’m sure JAG will give her a hand in locating one.

I’m not sure of the legality of everything - his settlement put into a joint account. That’s the question for the lawyer.

Keep being a strong friend. It sounds like she needs one right now.
:blessyou:


#3

If she goes to the military with this info won’t they tell her husband right away? She is afraid of him. He has struck her in the past and once tried to push her out of the car while he was driving it.


#4

The Armed Forces take domestic violence extremely seriously. If your friend reports to the appropriate command and states her circumstances they will entervene and follow through. Her husband will probably be required to stay on base while the matter is investigated - she will probably have to go to the local police to arrange protection at their end also.


#5

Hi Rayne, maybe I can help. I don’t know exactly what she needs, so I listed a variety of things. Is he stationed at EARLE, in Leonardo NJ? I live only 3 miles from the base and my brother was stationed there back in the late 80’s through the early 90’s on the USS Detroit. If it’s a divorce I have a web site that might help www.divorcenewjersey.com she sounds like an extreme cruelity case would be very easy to obtain, adultery is hard to prove. If they are from EARLE and live in Middletown Township (Leonardo is part of Middletown Township) the adress and phone number for the police is 1 Kings Highway Middletown NJ 07748—(732)615-2039 if she needs a restraining order or any other non-emergency, otherwise call 911. If they live closer to the military family housing the town is called Colt’s Neck.(I currently have no info in that area, but if you need it I’ll find out) If they need Martial Counseling with local Churches these are the closest to base…St. Agnes on Ave D, Atlantic Highland or St. Mary’s Leonardville Road New Monmouth (732) 671-6125 or St. Catherine’s Bray Ave, North Middletown NJ (732) 787-1318 or St. Ann’s Carr Avenue Keansburg or Holy Family Route 36 Union Beach NJ(732) 264-1484, if she needs something else let me know I hope I was able to help a bit. There is also a Cathoilc Charities in Red Bank NJ


#6

[quote=kaymart]Hi Rayne, maybe I can help. I don’t know exactly what she needs, so I listed a variety of things. Is he stationed at EARLE, in Leonardo NJ? I live only 3 miles from the base and my brother was stationed there back in the late 80’s through the early 90’s on the USS Detroit. If it’s a divorce I have a web site that might help www.divorcenewjersey.com she sounds like an extreme cruelity case would be very easy to obtain, adultery is hard to prove. If they are from EARLE and live in Middletown Township (Leonardo is part of Middletown Township) the adress and phone number for the police is 1 Kings Highway Middletown NJ 07748—(732)615-2039 if she needs a restraining order or any other non-emergency, otherwise call 911. If they live closer to the military family housing the town is called Colt’s Neck.(I currently have no info in that area, but if you need it I’ll find out) If they need Martial Counseling with local Churches these are the closest to base…St. Agnes on Ave D, Atlantic Highland or St. Mary’s Leonardville Road New Monmouth (732) 671-6125 or St. Catherine’s Bray Ave, North Middletown NJ (732) 787-1318 or St. Ann’s Carr Avenue Keansburg or Holy Family Route 36 Union Beach NJ(732) 264-1484, if she needs something else let me know I hope I was able to help a bit. There is also a Cathoilc Charities in Red Bank NJ
[/quote]

Wow Kaymart thanks! Yes he is stationed at Earle but they own a home in Jackson.

(I used to live in Atlantic Highlands in the early 90’s myself when my husband was stationed on the USS Suribachi. So we were there when your brother was on the Detroit.)

I’m going to send you a pm.


#7

[quote=rayne89]Wow Kaymart thanks! Yes he is stationed at Earle but they own a home in Jackson.

(I used to live in Atlantic Highlands in the early 90’s myself when my husband was stationed on the USS Suribachi. So we were there when your brother was on the Detroit.)

I’m going to send you a pm.
[/quote]

Your welcome, glad to help. My brother lived on base with his family, he was transfered soon after Desert Storm and retired in 1999, now lives in Fl. I lived in the Monmouth County area all my life.


#8

The Navy lawyers will take the case of the first person who comes to them and attends their divorce workshop. The Navy is taking domestic abuse very seriously to the point he could be restricted to his boat until the situation is cleared up. If your GF can get to the clinic, she only has to say she is afraid to go home or afriad of what he might do to the children.

I would be very concerned with her son. If the Husband is showing all this porn interest in boys and has started a sort of club, she should be seeing red flags for her son’s well being. I hate to suggest molestation, but it needs to be considered. As long as the husband is around, the son will not say anything.

She also needs to get control of the money in the other states. Does she have a POA?

Also, it is considered a felony if he takes her ID card from her. That card is her access to miltary facilities and services. She needs to go to the base and get them involved as soon as possible.

Also, find the chaplin! He can be very inturmental in going to base command, and her husband’s command to get her some help. A chaplin would be considered the impartial bystander in the case to give your friend some validity so it is not her word against his. Also the chaplin is resourcful in counsceling not to mention confession.

The fact that children, not just her own are involved makes this very dangerous. Has he molested these boys and coaxed them into doing his bidding. The husband will get more violent if he has done somthing wrong and needs to cover it up.

Have you friend copy everything on the computer. She can do this as a backup disk. She needs to get all possible financial information, old LESs, etc.

Pray for her but she needs to first get into a safe environment! Use the Navy to help her before it turns against her! This is not just divorce but criminal, being held against her will, threatening behavior, and possible corruption to minors. Why would he have a bestfirend who is a teenager and why buy them a $20,000 car? What is he hiding! This is the issue!

Also, pray for the husband, his soul is on the line and it appears that satan is dragging him in deeper! God is stronger, but the husband has to make the choice.

Get the Children and go to the chaplin’s office, even if she has to take them out of school now!


#9

[quote=ProudArmyWife]If he is doing these types of activities, the military will send a CID (criminal investigation division) to investigate and put up charges. Sadly, the military community is just a reflections more or less of society.
[/quote]

Just realize that NCIS ,NOT CID, have Federal powers of arrest. Therefore, any crime he has committed off base comes FIRST to local (state) law enforcement. CID also needs the presence of an officer with state powers of arrest off base, and if he really is commiting child pornography or related offenses, local law enforcement are going to tell CID to take a hike. Id even ask that NCIS make the arrest instead of a CID “like entity”, otherwise any good lawyer will serve a motion that he was “kidnapped” and falsely imprisoned by officers without arrest authority off base. Then, all confessions, statements ect. are supressed.

and just realize that there is a DIFFERENCE between abuse and assault. Moving money around, yelling and screaming, and general spying are NOT usually crimes UNLESS they serve to generate EXPLICIT fear of bodily harm. The law is very sketchy on verbal abuse, where most times real tirades can be considered assault if it provokes fear of bodily harm. very hard to actually prove.

Most likely, the military would charge him with crimes related to “conduct unbecoming”, as it has no jurisdiction over the movement and hiding of funds of personal accounts.

The best bet is a restraining order from the state, which if he violates, either military or local police can then arrest him, or both.


#10

[quote=BioCatholic] CID also needs the presence of an officer with state powers of arrest off base, and if he really is commiting child pornography or related offenses, local law enforcement are going to tell CID to take a hike.
[/quote]

I’m not sure what you mean if he really is committing child porn offenses. I talked to her again tonight. She’s never told me alot of this before because she was too embarressed that her husband was a pervert. She said there was another website she had discovered that had the title “preteen” in it.

[quote=BioCatholic] and just realize that there is a DIFFERENCE between abuse and assault. Moving money around, yelling and screaming, and general spying are NOT usually crimes UNLESS they serve to generate EXPLICIT fear of bodily harm. The law is very sketchy on verbal abuse, where most times real tirades can be considered assault if it provokes fear of bodily harm. very hard to actually prove.

[/quote]

She told me tonight there is a police report of an incident last year where he hit her in the head with a glass bottle because she turned the radio off. And apparently he has admitted to the military when asked that he has been physically abusive in the past. One thing she has in her favor is that because of the damage to his brain from the accident he will tell people things that a normal person would know better then to say. That’s how she found out about the other banks accounts because he’s told other people.

She’s hired a lawyer and the lawyer is going to hire an investigator to try to track down where the money has gone.


#11

[quote=rayne89]I’m not sure what you mean if he really is committing child porn offenses. I talked to her again tonight. She’s never told me alot of this before because she was too embarressed that her husband was a pervert. She said there was another website she had discovered that had the title “preteen” in it.
[/quote]

What i mean by “really” is, if he actually has committed these crimes, then state (not military) law enforcement are going to take him into custody. military police arent the most competent when it comes to dealing with off base issues, and the local police will grab him before he knows what hit him.

“preteen” is going to land him many, many years in a state prison. local police dont care what the military says or does, and they will not release him to CID custody until they have had their chance at him. thats only if he is arrested off base. after that, the military can punish him only if the statute of limitations has not expired, and they have filed charges.


#12

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